by Coach Tina | Jan 13, 2025 | Empowerment, Gratitude, Growth, Healing
We’ve all heard the saying, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” While it might seem like sound advice on the surface, I’m here to challenge that notion and offer a different perspective on how to truly protect your peace.
There is a cost associated with being too close to negativity!
The idea of keeping your enemies close, while it appears to offer a strategic advantage, and we are all about strategy around here; but it can have a significant impact on your emotional well-being. 
Those negative vibes your enemy releases can cause mental drain. Constantly engaging with negativity can drain your mental energy, leaving you feeling distracted, overwhelmed, and disconnected from your true purpose. It can also interrupt your focus. Instead of focusing on building your own success, you might find yourself preoccupied with monitoring the moves of your perceived enemies. Who has time for that?
I lean towards divine justice over forcing anything!
The scripture that states “God will prepare a table before your enemies” is often misinterpreted. This doesn’t imply you should actively seek out or maintain close relationships with those who oppose you. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. In my opinion this verse is a reminder that your success will unfold naturally, without the need to constantly engage with those who wish to see you fail. It also reminds me that God prepares the table – not us. And He prepares it in His timing! When we focus on God’s timing and his intentions, we allow success to unfold organically. You are not required to force anything.
It’s time to focus on positive surroundings!
Why expend precious energy nurturing negative bonds when you could be cultivating relationships that truly uplift you? Surrounding yourself with genuine supporters who celebrate your victories and encourage your dreams fosters a positive and empowering environment. The influence of supportive relationships fuels your growth and paves the way for authentic success.
Girlfriend, it’s time to reclaim your power!
In a world that often pressures us to conform and please everyone, it’s crucial to prioritize nurturing relationships that empower rather than those that drain. It’s time to release the toxic ties that you have to toxic people. This will require courage. If someone is constantly bringing negativity into your life, release them. You don’t owe them anything. Build your own empire. channel the energy you reclaim from letting go of those negative Nancys and pursue your dreams with unwavering confidence. As you reclaim your power, you will find that you really weren’t missing anything anyway.
Guarding your peace is an act of self-love and empowerment. By prioritizing positive relationships and releasing toxic ties, you create space for authentic success to bloom. Remember, you do not need to keep your enemies close to succeed. Trust in your own journey and let your light shine brightly. You are the CEO of your life. It’s okay to demote and terminate those that are not helping you achieve your goals and promote those that are.
I hope this encourages you to pursue success instead of paying attention to where your enemies are or what they are doing. That’s God’s problem not yours.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Dec 5, 2023 | Empowerment, Encouragement, Focus, Gratitude, Growth
Hey Girl Hey! It’s time to transform your life from chaotic to harmonious. Grab you a cup of coffee or wine depending on when you are reading this post and let’s dive into creating some morning and evening routines. These routines will help you conquer your day and become the ultimate CEO of your life.
Why Routines Matter:
In the grand symphony of life, routines are the maestros that orchestrate harmony. For Boss CEOs like you, a meticulously crafted routine is not just a to-do list; it’s a roadmap to success. It’s about mastering your day, reclaiming your time, and propelling yourself toward greatness.
CEO Mindset in Every Move:
Ever wondered why the most successful CEOs seem to have it all together? It’s not magic; it’s a mindset. Embrace the CEO within you, making intentional decisions, prioritizing tasks, and setting the tone for success. Your life is your business, and you’re the Boss – act like it!
Mindset is everything. If you believe you can, you will. If you believe you can’t, you won’t! Just that simple. The moment you say you cannot do something is the moment your mind begins to think of all the reasons why it cannot happen. But as soon as you get “permission”, you begin to look for ways to make sure it happens. Now is the time to give yourself permission. You don’t need anyone’s permission to live our life however you want to!
Mastering Your Morning:
I will be the first to say, establishing a morning routine was hard. Not because I’m not a morning person, but because prior to creating my routine, I would get distracted by all the “things” that needed my attention. It became overwhelming and I ended up doing NOTHING. So I changed that! Now I kickstart my morning by taking time for ME!
My day now starts with a purpose, which looks like this. I use the first hour of my morning to love myself. I start with a prayer asking God to help me be an example of Him today. I make my bed – assuring I accomplish at least one task for the day. I blast my music to set the tone for how I want my day to go. Right now, it’s Christmas music other days it may be gospel or even some upbeat hip hop. I’ve learned music fuels my soul and some days my soul needs a little Tamela Mann and other days it needs Tupac! I grab a cup of tea and journal about whatever I woke up with on my mind. Maybe it was a dream. Maybe it was a strategy I want to create. Maybe it’s a scripture or quote. I’ve learned to get that out first or it will distract me all day. The final step in my morning routine is to pull out my brain dump from the night before (you will see this in a moment). I look at the two things at the top of my list and create a visual image of those things being completed. I make a mental note of how I will feel once they are complete which sets my mindset and fuels my why. Now that I am aware of my purpose for the day, I turn my thoughts back to ME repeating one of two mantras Today, I am the CEO of my life. I will conquer it like the boss I am. OR I don’t beg, I don’t chase. I attract. What’s created for me will find me effortlessly. Determined to move forward with a BOSS mindset, I move forward with what I planned to accomplish for the day.
Empowered Evenings
Before I leave my office for the evening (I work from home), I take a deep breath, signifying the end of my day. It’s time to reset. It’s time to appreciate the things I accomplished for the day regardless of how big or how small. I’ve learned to be appreciative of the efforts I made because there was a time when I would have laid in my bed and cried all day. I ask myself a few questions: What did I learn today? What did I conquer today? What could I have done better? Then I make a conscious decision to do better tomorrow. This is the brain dump I talked about earlier. I ask myself the following questions: Was there anything I wish I had accomplished, and I didn’t? Were there things on my to do list that I didn’t even consider tackling? Do those things need to be removed from my list? Because clearly, they may not be as important as I thought they were! Then I write down two things I want to complete the next day. These are the items that I use to create a mindset of purpose the next morning. Remember the CEO mindset does not rest; it strategizes for tomorrow’s victories.
Lastly before I turn in for the night, I do a quick check in. I ask myself two simple questions: Did I make myself proud? Did I stay true to my purpose? If I answered yes to those questions, I’m good. If I say NO, I realize there is probably a boundary I need to set. Maybe it’s from within. Maybe it’s setting a boundary for someone or something that needs to be demoted or terminated from my life. I, then, pray and ask God to give me courage and strength to not only set that boundary but to implement that boundary.
CEOs are not afraid to set boundaries. It is not about being rigid; it’s about respecting your time and energy. Learn to say ‘No’ when needed, delegate like a pro, and protect the CEO asset- you!
Remember one of the pillars in the BossUP program is being strategic! Strategy is your secret weapon to conquering challenges and unlocking your full potential. This powerhouse program is designed for women like you – those making an impact in their community and in the lives of those they love. It’s not just a program; it’s your roadmap to CEO-level decision-making.
You’re not just navigating life; you’re orchestrating it. Through empowering routines, a CEO mindset, and the BossUp program, you’re claiming your place at the helm. Morning routines for women are essential in assuring an empowered life. Ending your day with an empowering evening routine creates space for you to thrive and step away from the chaos. Routines help to create a CEO life management system. Share the wisdom, subscribe for more BossUp insights, and remember – you’re the CEO of your life.
Until next time, keep BossingUp!
by Coach Tina | Sep 1, 2022 | Encouragement, Focus, Gratitude, Growth, Healing
We are often told “embrace the skin you are in, and you will begin to love the skin you are in!” Okay maybe that’s just my philosophy.
For years I struggled trying to fit in. I even spoke about it in my first book “What You’re Hiding is Hindering Your Blessing”. I felt like a square trying to enter a round world. Regardless how much I tried, I was either too big and parts of me didn’t fit or too small and parts of me weren’t enough.
Today, I can honestly say whether I fit in the circle or not, I enjoy who I see in the mirror and that’s what really matters. Do I feel comfortable in my skin every day? No, I DO NOT! There are days I compare myself to the woman that appear to have the perfect work/life balance. I compare myself to the woman that seems very organized in her business endeavors and can land the ideal client without much effort. I compare myself to the woman that can lose weight and keep it off. I compare myself to the woman that don’t question herself all the time. I compare myself to the woman that can grow flowers.
But I NEVER dismiss the work I’ve done. I NEVER forget how far I have come. When I think of the person I was, I get depressed and wonder, “how did I live such a docile and unproductive life”. How could I have always seen the glass as half empty. How could I have never thought what I did was enough. I use the word NEVER and ALWAYS because that was exactly how I viewed the situation – absolute. I was NEVER enough. The only time I look back is to see how far I have come. Because sitting in that depressive scenario is a sure-fire way of returning.
By now you all know one of my favorite quotes is by PK Bernard. “A man without a vision is a man without a future. A man without a future will always return to his past. Returning to my past is not an option. My past represents everything I no longer desire to be so, I must keep my vision in front of me.
Society will have you constantly comparing yourself to those around you. Remember your only competition is the person you see in the mirror. If you don’t like what you see, you can always change it. It’s when you embrace who you are that you can begin to love the person you see. And when you love the person you see, you will not allow anyone to put you in a position that causes you to doubt who you are again.
Loving others require you to start with loving yourself! Because until you love the person you see in the mirror, you will always be looking for someone else to tell you the things you need to tell yourself.
You are beautiful. You are enough. You are worthy. You are valuable. You are victorious.
You are a BOSS!
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | May 31, 2022 | Abuse, Empowerment, Encouragement, Focus, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Growth, Healing, purpose, Relationships
I can trust myself to make good decision that propel me to be a better me.
Let me start by saying learning to trust yourself after any type of betrayal is HARD! It always amazes me how we can eventually forgive the person that betrayed us yet find it difficult to trust ourselves enough to make decision that prevent us from entering relationships that potentially can cause the same damage.
I’ve had a few moments where I’ve felt the weight associated with being betrayed. I have moments where I felt I had sacrificed my own happiness and desires for others and was let down when they did not reciprocate the effort. It left me feeling I wasn’t doing enough and tried to do more, instead of realizing it wasn’t that I wasn’t doing enough, it was because the other person couldn’t receive what I was offering or unable to show the appreciation I needed them to show.
There is so much to unpack in that statement alone. We should probably do that at some point. But that is NOT what this blog will address. I found the betrayal of others, caused me to question who I was and challenged me to look at what I was doing. I was certain if I could not “satisfy” someone else with my good intentions, then maybe my “good intentions” weren’t good after all.
It took a long time for me to trust my feelings, my apprehensions, my discernment, to trust myself. I still have moments where I question if my intentions are authentic and healthy. I constantly ask myself if I’m making the right decisions. I often over-analyze the situation. I even talk myself out of some things only to go back to them.
I said all of that to say, I really don’t think a person that has been traumatized every stops second guessing themselves and their intentions. It has become part of our norm. However, it does not have to remain our only norm. We can limit our hesitations by learning one simple rule.
It’s only a mistake, if you don’t learn from it.
I had to learn there is not such thing as a mistake; it’s a mishap. There is NO failure. There’s opportunities. You either complete the task or learn what does not work and start again with a different perception. That simple philosophy has changed my entire life, professionally and personally. I don’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t have to be perfect. I just has to be MY best. PERIODT! If I am giving everything I have and it’s not enough, that is the problem of the recipient not mine. If I am being authentic in what I say and do and they don’t believe it, that’s their problem. If my good isn’t good enough, they are free to find someone they believe can do it better. When I tell you this statement set me free – it would be an understatement. I no longer question whether it’s enough for them, I make sure it’s enough for me. That I am being true to myself and giving the best that I have to offer. Giving my best has allowed me to learn to trust myself again and push myself into the best version of myself. Unapologetic and authentic. Intentional and determined. Bold and courageous. I finally started giving myself what I was wanting from others. Acceptance!
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Apr 18, 2022 | Empowerment, Encouragement, Focus, Gratitude, Growth, Healing, purpose
Yesterday is over and guess what? You are still here!
Easter has always been one of my favorite holidays. It represents new beginnings and springtime. People dress in their fancy clothes. Kids run around high off sugar. For those in the Christian faith, we celebrate a resurrected Christ. And it’s the launch to my birthday celebrations.
However, the last few years I haven’t felt much excitement. Between the pandemic, my mom’s transition, turning 50, kids living their grown life and being single, I’ve really struggled! I slid my mask on in hopes no one noticed but the transparency in me demands honesty. I struggled and it’s been rough. 
Trauma presents as recurring grief that shows up when you don’t want it to and demands attention when you don’t have the energy to give it. The slightest memory can propel you back into a space you thought you had finally climbed out of. It can have you laying in bed with the blinds closed, eating bom-boms for days. It can have you withdrawn or lashing out at people who need your compassion and love. It can have you impulsive and moody. It can take you to a space that makes you sick of you. Which presents its own battle. And I felt ALL of that yesterday!
Yesterday the coach in me was fighting with the little girl in me and leaving me emotionally and physically drained! Part of me demanded the soldier to stand up while the other just wanted to be held and told everything would be okay. The battle between insecurities and empowerment had me questioning myself, my growth and all the hard work I had done. It had me listening to the imposter instead of the cheerleader. It had me feeling isolated instead of triumphant. Girl, I was drained. BUT…
As I sit here assessing the damage from yesterday. Yes I did damage! But that’s a conversation for another day, I’m reminded that it was Easter, an opportunity for a new beginning. I can’t change yesterday. But I CAN make amends for those that got caught in my emotional wrath. I CAN create a plan so I’m able to deal with it better the next time. I CAN learn from it. I CAN choose to create lessons from it. I CAN start over. Read that again – I CAN START OVER! and show myself grace. It’s not a failure, it’s a lesson.
I share my transparency so when you find yourself on an emotional roller-coaster, you will have a gentle reminder; Easter is always available! A resurrection is always an option as long as you are willing to get up!
Until next time,
by Coach Tina | Sep 4, 2018 | Gratitude, Growth
Those that have been following me for a while know my favorite season is FALL! It’s something about sitting in the crisp air, watching the leaves change colors and drinking warm apple cider. It just makes me happy and everyone wants to be happy right?
Well, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately (which is always dangerous). The type of thinking where you ask yourself crazy questions like:
Why did you allow that to happen?
Why didn’t you stop it from happening?
What if you really weren’t enough and that’s why it happened?
What if you made the wrong decision?
What if you walked away to soon?
What if things could have gotten better?
Like where in the heck did these thoughts come from? It happened because it would have NEVER changed. I would have NEVER stopped it. It WASN’T my job to stop it. It had absolutely NOTHING to do with me. I AM good enough … the Bible tells me so! NO seriously that’s why I’m good enough! The wrong decision? According to who? Things would have NEVER gotten better, and I SHOULD have stopped sooner!! (That’s how I must talk to my inner voice to quiet her down – you should try it)
But those questions were keeping me up at night and causing me to want to binge. I had to address them and address them now!
Why was I feeling these things? Why was I basking in this pain? Like WHY!!
I was forced to be honest with myself. I was feeling empty. I was feeling lonely. I was feeling unhappy.
But something about knowing Fall is around the corner helped me. Pushed me. Motivated me. Replenished me.
Would I still be a single, divorced woman? Yep! But that does NOT define me. I am a single, divorced woman that is living the life she has created for herself and enjoying the freedom of not having to carry the burdens of someone else. I am a woman able to decide what makes her happy without worrying if it will make someone else uncomfortable. I am a woman unwilling to downplay who she is because it causes someone else to question who they are. I am a woman strong, bold and beautiful. I don’t know if you caught that or not but the adjectives I used to describe myself changed. Why? Because that’s not what defines me – it’s what happened. It was my Fall. Crisp air, changing leaves and warm apple cider!
Fall is a reminder to me that change is good and can be beautiful. It reminds me that to grow something must die. It reminds me that at the end of everything is the beginning of something else. It reminds me that life is all about what you make it.
So, as I sit here on this hot summer day, drinking a glass of ice cold water because it’s still very hot here, I smile with anticipation that just like the seasons change, so does life. I put this big expectation on myself that I should be over the pain by now. That it shouldn’t bother me. That it shouldn’t still hurt. But then I stop because I would NEVER put those same expectations on a client. So why do I put them on myself. I am human! Just like the seasons change so will my feelings and it’s okay!!
Until Next Time,
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