by Coach Tina | Dec 5, 2023 | Empowerment, Encouragement, Focus, Gratitude, Growth
Hey Girl Hey! It’s time to transform your life from chaotic to harmonious. Grab you a cup of coffee or wine depending on when you are reading this post and let’s dive into creating some morning and evening routines. These routines will help you conquer your day and become the ultimate CEO of your life.
Why Routines Matter:
In the grand symphony of life, routines are the maestros that orchestrate harmony. For Boss CEOs like you, a meticulously crafted routine is not just a to-do list; it’s a roadmap to success. It’s about mastering your day, reclaiming your time, and propelling yourself toward greatness.
CEO Mindset in Every Move:
Ever wondered why the most successful CEOs seem to have it all together? It’s not magic; it’s a mindset. Embrace the CEO within you, making intentional decisions, prioritizing tasks, and setting the tone for success. Your life is your business, and you’re the Boss – act like it!
Mindset is everything. If you believe you can, you will. If you believe you can’t, you won’t! Just that simple. The moment you say you cannot do something is the moment your mind begins to think of all the reasons why it cannot happen. But as soon as you get “permission”, you begin to look for ways to make sure it happens. Now is the time to give yourself permission. You don’t need anyone’s permission to live our life however you want to!
Mastering Your Morning:
I will be the first to say, establishing a morning routine was hard. Not because I’m not a morning person, but because prior to creating my routine, I would get distracted by all the “things” that needed my attention. It became overwhelming and I ended up doing NOTHING. So I changed that! Now I kickstart my morning by taking time for ME!
My day now starts with a purpose, which looks like this. I use the first hour of my morning to love myself. I start with a prayer asking God to help me be an example of Him today. I make my bed – assuring I accomplish at least one task for the day. I blast my music to set the tone for how I want my day to go. Right now, it’s Christmas music other days it may be gospel or even some upbeat hip hop. I’ve learned music fuels my soul and some days my soul needs a little Tamela Mann and other days it needs Tupac! I grab a cup of tea and journal about whatever I woke up with on my mind. Maybe it was a dream. Maybe it was a strategy I want to create. Maybe it’s a scripture or quote. I’ve learned to get that out first or it will distract me all day. The final step in my morning routine is to pull out my brain dump from the night before (you will see this in a moment). I look at the two things at the top of my list and create a visual image of those things being completed. I make a mental note of how I will feel once they are complete which sets my mindset and fuels my why. Now that I am aware of my purpose for the day, I turn my thoughts back to ME repeating one of two mantras Today, I am the CEO of my life. I will conquer it like the boss I am. OR I don’t beg, I don’t chase. I attract. What’s created for me will find me effortlessly. Determined to move forward with a BOSS mindset, I move forward with what I planned to accomplish for the day.
Empowered Evenings
Before I leave my office for the evening (I work from home), I take a deep breath, signifying the end of my day. It’s time to reset. It’s time to appreciate the things I accomplished for the day regardless of how big or how small. I’ve learned to be appreciative of the efforts I made because there was a time when I would have laid in my bed and cried all day. I ask myself a few questions: What did I learn today? What did I conquer today? What could I have done better? Then I make a conscious decision to do better tomorrow. This is the brain dump I talked about earlier. I ask myself the following questions: Was there anything I wish I had accomplished, and I didn’t? Were there things on my to do list that I didn’t even consider tackling? Do those things need to be removed from my list? Because clearly, they may not be as important as I thought they were! Then I write down two things I want to complete the next day. These are the items that I use to create a mindset of purpose the next morning. Remember the CEO mindset does not rest; it strategizes for tomorrow’s victories.
Lastly before I turn in for the night, I do a quick check in. I ask myself two simple questions: Did I make myself proud? Did I stay true to my purpose? If I answered yes to those questions, I’m good. If I say NO, I realize there is probably a boundary I need to set. Maybe it’s from within. Maybe it’s setting a boundary for someone or something that needs to be demoted or terminated from my life. I, then, pray and ask God to give me courage and strength to not only set that boundary but to implement that boundary.
CEOs are not afraid to set boundaries. It is not about being rigid; it’s about respecting your time and energy. Learn to say ‘No’ when needed, delegate like a pro, and protect the CEO asset- you!
Remember one of the pillars in the BossUP program is being strategic! Strategy is your secret weapon to conquering challenges and unlocking your full potential. This powerhouse program is designed for women like you – those making an impact in their community and in the lives of those they love. It’s not just a program; it’s your roadmap to CEO-level decision-making.
You’re not just navigating life; you’re orchestrating it. Through empowering routines, a CEO mindset, and the BossUp program, you’re claiming your place at the helm. Morning routines for women are essential in assuring an empowered life. Ending your day with an empowering evening routine creates space for you to thrive and step away from the chaos. Routines help to create a CEO life management system. Share the wisdom, subscribe for more BossUp insights, and remember – you’re the CEO of your life.
Until next time, keep BossingUp!
by Coach Tina | Jan 18, 2023 | Empowerment, Encouragement, Focus, purpose
Then the LORD said to me, “Write the vision and make it plain. So those that read it can run “. Habakkuk 2:2
Until a few years ago, I used the surfaced version of that scripture WRITE THE VISION, MAKE IT PLAIN but as I began to teach others to craft their own vision, I noticed the latter part, SO THOSE THAT READ IT CAN RUN and something in my soul began to stir.
- Your vision must inspire.
- Your vision must motivate others to want to do more.
- Your vision must be something others want to be a part of.
- Your vision must be intentional with an intended purpose.
- Your vision must speak to the heart of a person.
- Your vision must speak to your heart.
- Your vision must make people want to RUN and tell someone else.
When I looked at the requirements of what a vision must do, what I had did not measure up. I went back to the drawing board. Now my vision speaks to me and hopefully to others.
My vision is a space where every excuse is met with a solution, where every obstacle becomes a triumph, where every dream becomes a reality and where every woman walks unapologetically in her calling.
Sounds massive and even impossible. But God told me “Plainly write the vision so others will help you accomplish it”. And He has not fallen back on His promise. I’m so thankful for those that support the vision and continue to make it a reality.
Tina Bailey Online is composed of TWO main parts.
BuildHER Collaboration, a nonprofit providing education, resources and training that support survivors of domestic abuse and sexual trauma. We offer programs designed to help survivors build a NEW foundation, provide a space where women can be part of a sisterhood, and provide training to the community to help them become better advocates for victims.
Tina Bailey Consulting & Coaching is a where the magic happens. This is where the over 25 years of nonprofit work, 15 years of project management, 10 years of coaching and my love for creating, comes together and destroys the excuses and obstacles that keep people stuck in situations that destroy them. This is where I live out my own dreams and keep myself from falling back on the floor. (If you don’t know what I’m referring to go back and read the blog right before this one) This is where all “the things” reside. The courses, the podcast, the books, the programs, the trainings, the workshops, the boot camps, the masterminds. This is the resources. This is the how. The nonprofit is the why!
I don’t have all the answers required to fulfill the vision. It’s too big. But in the words of Iyanla Vanzant, if your dream don’t scare you and make you pee just a little bit, it’s too small. You see, I depend on God and the people He place in my life to make the vision a reality. I also depend on all the lessons I’ve learned over the years to keep the vision plain so others can share it and I can satisfy my promise to God.
Your gift is His gift to you; what you do with it, is your gift to Him.
Write your vision, make it crystal clear and watch others take it and run.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Sep 1, 2022 | Encouragement, Focus, Gratitude, Growth, Healing
We are often told “embrace the skin you are in, and you will begin to love the skin you are in!” Okay maybe that’s just my philosophy.
For years I struggled trying to fit in. I even spoke about it in my first book “What You’re Hiding is Hindering Your Blessing”. I felt like a square trying to enter a round world. Regardless how much I tried, I was either too big and parts of me didn’t fit or too small and parts of me weren’t enough.
Today, I can honestly say whether I fit in the circle or not, I enjoy who I see in the mirror and that’s what really matters. Do I feel comfortable in my skin every day? No, I DO NOT! There are days I compare myself to the woman that appear to have the perfect work/life balance. I compare myself to the woman that seems very organized in her business endeavors and can land the ideal client without much effort. I compare myself to the woman that can lose weight and keep it off. I compare myself to the woman that don’t question herself all the time. I compare myself to the woman that can grow flowers.
But I NEVER dismiss the work I’ve done. I NEVER forget how far I have come. When I think of the person I was, I get depressed and wonder, “how did I live such a docile and unproductive life”. How could I have always seen the glass as half empty. How could I have never thought what I did was enough. I use the word NEVER and ALWAYS because that was exactly how I viewed the situation – absolute. I was NEVER enough. The only time I look back is to see how far I have come. Because sitting in that depressive scenario is a sure-fire way of returning.
By now you all know one of my favorite quotes is by PK Bernard. “A man without a vision is a man without a future. A man without a future will always return to his past. Returning to my past is not an option. My past represents everything I no longer desire to be so, I must keep my vision in front of me.
Society will have you constantly comparing yourself to those around you. Remember your only competition is the person you see in the mirror. If you don’t like what you see, you can always change it. It’s when you embrace who you are that you can begin to love the person you see. And when you love the person you see, you will not allow anyone to put you in a position that causes you to doubt who you are again.
Loving others require you to start with loving yourself! Because until you love the person you see in the mirror, you will always be looking for someone else to tell you the things you need to tell yourself.
You are beautiful. You are enough. You are worthy. You are valuable. You are victorious.
You are a BOSS!
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Jun 29, 2022 | Empowerment, Encouragement, Focus, Growth, Healing
This month’s focus has been on self-trust and mine have been tested repeatedly. I’m often told “I don’t know how YOU did it. I want to give up! I can’t take anymore.” If I had a nickel for every time I wanted to give up and a quarter for every time
, I STILL mumble about it being too hard. I would be a rich woman! Just because you see me smiling and pushing forward, does NOT mean I don’t cry myself to sleep at times. It does NOT mean I don’t ask “why me?” It doesn’t mean my circle don’t hear about all the hell I face daily.
I could tell how I am overlooked for jobs that I know I can do. How even though I have met some awesome people on my dating journey, I have also met some that should have been flushed! I could tell you how there are days I feel motivated and confident in who I am and then there are days I rip myself apart because my panties and bra don’t match. I could tell you how I can stick to my health regiment while other days I must throw myself into work, so I don’t go on a binge.
I could also tell you that I’m not ready to give up. I fought too hard to get this far to only get this far. I have more in me, and I will not stop until I have accomplished the goals, I have set for myself. I know what it feels like to give up – it’s time to know what it feels like to keep going. Is it easy? Heck NO! Will it be worth it? I certainly hope so. Will I keep going so I can see? Absolutely! Because no one can stop me but me. It’s my choice when to throw in the towel. Because then and only then will I know I have done all I can do. So, from now on I will stop saying I had a rough day; instead, I will say I had a character-building day.
If you are at one of the many crossroads on your journey; where you feel like you cannot go forward, just remember; there was a time you prayed to get here. There was a time it seemed impossible to do half the things you are doing now. BUT look at you! You are accomplishing those once impossible tasks and you will accomplish the next ones if you keep pushing forward.
It does not matter if must crawl, keep going. It does not matter who says NO – as long as you say YES. It does not matter how long it takes, just know it is on its way. Just know you only fail if you stop! Remember tough days build character!
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Jun 13, 2022 | Empowerment, Encouragement, Focus, Healing, purpose
Establishing boundaries and creating self-trust go hand in hand. The more you set and honor your boundaries, the more you begin to trust yourself and believe in yourself. The more you trust yourself, the healthier your boundaries become and the easier it is to implement them.
Many survivors struggle with setting boundaries because they are afraid of offending someone or have never felt comfortable standing up for themselves. They question whether what they desire is feasible, healthy, or fair. They are accustomed to having their needs minimized. They have been told on many occasions NO to things they truly desire. They often question themselves and just as often compare themselves to others.
Theodore Roosevelt pinned the quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. Giving the impression when you compare yourself to other, you will never truly find joy. Having a standard by which you live even when comparing it to someone else, is not in itself a bad thing. However, looking at their situation as unattainable or minimizing your accomplishments as it relates to theirs, now that will rob you of happiness.
Everybody has challenges. You can find a person deemed the most successful, most beautiful, most accomplished and versed and I guarantee if you speak with them in detail, they will have a laundry list of items that challenge them. We are all on a journey to a better version of ourselves.
Self-trust is trusting your abilities, judgement, and qualities. Self-trust is loving yourself through your mistakes and being willing to use them to be better. Self-trust is listening to the small or loud voice telling you, you deserve better. Self-trust is walking away from things that cause you to question who you are and what you want. Self-trust is dismissing negativity that presents itself as a form of criticism. Self-trust is opting out of things that previously hurt you despite your dismissal upsetting someone else. 
Establishing healthy boundaries, gives you permission to live according to the rules you establish for yourself. Healthy boundaries provide consequence to those that break your trust or values. Boundaries do not keep good people out; they keep unhealthy qualities out.
When a person challenges your boundaries many times – NO MOST TIME – it’s because you have set a standard against a behavior they have been allowed to do in the past. That, my friend, is not your problem. If what they have been used to doing, does not set right with you, it is a problem and it is theirs. Give yourself permission to say NO, to stand up for yourself and what you want, to address things that don’t set right with you. Those that truly love you will be accepting of your choice. Those that push back – well they may have a like for you, but they don’t love you the way you need them to.
I know it’s hard to accept that someone you love cannot reciprocate that love. But remember every time you accept their limited love and lack of respect for you, you are robbing yourself of the love you deserve. You are telling the little girl inside of you that she is not enough. You are telling the adult version of yourself that she’s not trustworthy. You have ultimately taken on the role of an abuser in your own life.
But how do you develop a stronger trust in yourself when you have never been taught? Baby steps! You take baby steps! You start small. If you stumble, you get back up, wipe yourself off and do it again and again and again. There is no magical formula for developing self-trust, especially if you have been put in a position where your choices have caused you pain. But here are some strategies.
- Forgive Yourself – Understand the person you were when you made those choices, were making choices based off what appeared best at that time. Those choices may have been appropriate at that time. And even if it did not render the best outcome, you learned something from it.
- Love Yourself – The same love you freely give to others, give to yourself. If you would not say it to a child, don’t say it to you. Self-love is something that does not come easy if you’ve witness trauma. You blame yourself for everything. Gotta stop that. You deserve love especially from yourself.
- Be Patient with Yourself – Rome was not built in a day. Deconstructing self-doubt and re-establishing a healthy dialogue with yourself won’t be either. You would never reprimand a baby for peeing on herself, yet you belittle yourself for trying. No, No, No!
- Cut Off Negativity – Stop it in its tracks. FIRST begin with your own negative talk and behaviors. When you start showing yourself unconditional love, it will be hard to accept disrespect from others. When you find yourself repeating the negative things others have said to you, stop! That is your trauma speaking.
- Prioritize Yourself – Give yourself 21 days to totally focus on you and your wants. Be selfish with your time, your energy, and your thoughts. If it doesn’t benefit in your journey towards self-trust, don’t do it. It’s only TWENTY-ONE days. I promise they will be okay.
I can’t wait to hear all about your journey to self-trust! Join us on one of our platforms: Facebook or Mighty Networks. I look forward to connecting with you.
Until then,
by Coach Tina | May 31, 2022 | Abuse, Empowerment, Encouragement, Focus, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Growth, Healing, purpose, Relationships
I can trust myself to make good decision that propel me to be a better me.
Let me start by saying learning to trust yourself after any type of betrayal is HARD! It always amazes me how we can eventually forgive the person that betrayed us yet find it difficult to trust ourselves enough to make decision that prevent us from entering relationships that potentially can cause the same damage.
I’ve had a few moments where I’ve felt the weight associated with being betrayed. I have moments where I felt I had sacrificed my own happiness and desires for others and was let down when they did not reciprocate the effort. It left me feeling I wasn’t doing enough and tried to do more, instead of realizing it wasn’t that I wasn’t doing enough, it was because the other person couldn’t receive what I was offering or unable to show the appreciation I needed them to show.
There is so much to unpack in that statement alone. We should probably do that at some point. But that is NOT what this blog will address. I found the betrayal of others, caused me to question who I was and challenged me to look at what I was doing. I was certain if I could not “satisfy” someone else with my good intentions, then maybe my “good intentions” weren’t good after all.
It took a long time for me to trust my feelings, my apprehensions, my discernment, to trust myself. I still have moments where I question if my intentions are authentic and healthy. I constantly ask myself if I’m making the right decisions. I often over-analyze the situation. I even talk myself out of some things only to go back to them.
I said all of that to say, I really don’t think a person that has been traumatized every stops second guessing themselves and their intentions. It has become part of our norm. However, it does not have to remain our only norm. We can limit our hesitations by learning one simple rule.
It’s only a mistake, if you don’t learn from it.
I had to learn there is not such thing as a mistake; it’s a mishap. There is NO failure. There’s opportunities. You either complete the task or learn what does not work and start again with a different perception. That simple philosophy has changed my entire life, professionally and personally. I don’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t have to be perfect. I just has to be MY best. PERIODT! If I am giving everything I have and it’s not enough, that is the problem of the recipient not mine. If I am being authentic in what I say and do and they don’t believe it, that’s their problem. If my good isn’t good enough, they are free to find someone they believe can do it better. When I tell you this statement set me free – it would be an understatement. I no longer question whether it’s enough for them, I make sure it’s enough for me. That I am being true to myself and giving the best that I have to offer. Giving my best has allowed me to learn to trust myself again and push myself into the best version of myself. Unapologetic and authentic. Intentional and determined. Bold and courageous. I finally started giving myself what I was wanting from others. Acceptance!
Until Next Time,
