by Coach Tina | Feb 19, 2016 | Encouragement, Forgiveness, Growth
Ever had those moments where you ask “what good can come out of this”? We’ve all heard the scripture “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
But what good can truly come of lying, stealing, murder, cheating, adultery, anger, mistreating children, etc.? What purpose can be created from things like that?
It’s hard to see the good in a situation when you are experiencing it. But remember it is a promise of God. He promised to work things out for us as we love Him and live for Him. As we focus on things that are good and pure (Philippians 4:8), goodness is coming our way.
When I was sexually assaulted, I could see no good in that. When my father died; when I struggled with low self-esteem; when my marriage began to fall apart; when my blood pressure elevated and I was on the verge of having a stroke, nope – no good in any of those situations. But God has used each of those circumstances and allowed me to speak to women in the exact same situation and be a witness that she will come through, if she stays focused. He will work it together for good, if you give Him the opportunity.
You must be intentional!
You must intentionally give Him an opportunity. John Kornfield says it best “intentions lead to behaviors which lead to habits which lead to person
al development which lead to destiny”. You will never make it to your destiny living haphazardly. You will never make it to your destiny holding on to hurt, anger, or pain. These things will keep you stuck in your current situation. They will hinder you from living the purpose God has for you.
Now don’t get it twisted, I have my days where the things I want to forget are so vibrant and in the forefront, that it takes everything in my power to push them aside. But it’s then that I have to make it intentional!! It is then I have to make it deliberate. It has to be done on purpose. It can only be done with God’s help.
Those people that hurt you, you have to intentionally love them. The ones that talked about you, intentionally speak life to them. The ones that told lies on you, intentionally pray for them. For as you deliberately do the right thing, it becomes a behavior to you. As your Godly behaviors develop, they become habits. Your habits will help develop you into the person you were destined to be.
Those things that are the hardest to forgive, are the things God requires that you intentionally give over to Him. He gave us permission to “cast all our cares on Him”. Yet we continue to walk around angry, hard-hearted, and broken. God is ready and able to lighten the load and to mend the hurt.
You cannot do anything to change the past, all you can do is live forward and live an unapologetically good life. A purpose filled life. A life destined for greatness. A life made of intentions.
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Feb 10, 2016 | Encouragement, Growth
The other day I stopped by the gas station to fill up my tank. As one of those people that despise inconveniences; someone who is extremely bothered when things don’t go “smooth”; and someone who hates not being in control of her surroundings (sshh – it’s one of the behaviors I’ve asked God to help me with), I imagine running out of gas would totally aggravate me. Therefore, I’m very adamant about making sure I have gas in my car.
Setting aside my OCD behaviors, I would say my actions can be further contributed to my upbringing and being told to never allow the car to go under a quarter of a tank of gas because trash would get in the engine. And we all know that trash in the engine will keep the car from running properly and ultimately cause unrepairable damages or even cause the engine to blow up. (at least that’s my interpretation)
The funny thing is, as careful as I am about making sure my car has what it needs to perform at peak performance, I’m not always as particular about doing what has to be done to assure that I’m running at my peak performance at all the times. I’m doing better though.
Just last week, I noticed my energy level was down, I was struggling with adhering to my normal routine. I found myself physically unable to function. I was bed-ridden for three days. I had the intention of getting things done but was unable to accomplish anything. Every time I tried to be active, I physically felt bad. It seemed regardless how hard I pushed, I just couldn’t get it together. Have you ever felt like that? You couldn’t put your finger on it but you just didn’t feel like yourself!!
I had to stop and think—what’s wrong with me? It was then, I realized I was “running on empty”? I couldn’t remember the last time I had truly showed myself self-care. I had been tending to the needs of everyone except myself. I had allowed my tank to not only go pass the quarter level, I was in the RED!! and trash was starting gather in my engine.
WHAT DOES THE TRASH LOOK LIKE?
- Negativity
- Laziness
- Indecisiveness
- Moodiness
- Unproductive
- Bitter
- Grouchiness
- Physically Sick
- Lethargic
- Depression
- Anger
- Frustration
I could go on… but you get the picture. I was stressed. I was unhappy. I was unpleasant. I was quiet. I was exclusive. I was withdrawn. I was consumed with the trash that was taking over my life. I had to get to the gas station and refuel quickly.
HOW TO REFUEL?
Reconnect with yourself. You know when things aren’t right. Are you tired? Are you lonely? Are you frustrated? Are you depressed? Are you burnt out and just need to rest? Are you putting the needs of others before your own? Take time to assess how you are feeling and why you may be feeling that way.
Make some adjustments. After you’ve identified the problem or problems, make some changes. You do not have to be superwoman to everyone. If you’re not good to your body, your body will not be good to you. Sometimes you just need to take a moment and just relax. It’s okay to put yourself first sometimes.
Find some motivation. I am rejuvenated by music and writing. So when I’m down, I pump up the music and dance around or grab a journal and write. I may write about what I’m feeling. I may write about the song playing. I just write. You have to find that thing that motivates (refuel) you.
Just like with your car, running on empty can cause some unrepairable damages. Learn to identify when things just aren’t “right” with you. Give yourself permission to take time to show self-care. Give yourself permission to love on yourself unapologetically. You are no good to anyone if you are not performing at your best. I encourage you, if you are “running on empty” get to the closest gas station and refuel. You deserve it!!
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Jan 28, 2016 | Encouragement, Growth
Have you ever felt you were being taken advantage of or unappreciated? If you live in this world, you have felt that way at least once in your life. Because I am a glass half full type of person, I will say it wasn’t intentional or deliberate. Most people don’t know how to show appreciation and others have never been appreciated so they struggle with offering it. Either way, feeling unappreciated hurts!!
However, when you don’t appreciate yourself, that’s worse. If you’ve been following my blog or are friends with me on Facebook, you know I struggled for years with low self-esteem and identity issues. It took me years to see my needs as important and even longer to figure out that I deserved for my needs to be met.
I understand putting the desires of everyone else first because you don’t want to be considered selfish. I understand not dreaming in fear of the dreams not coming true. I understand not setting personal goals because there were so many “more important” things needed to be done. I understand feeling guilty about wanting something just for yourself. I understand when the negative thoughts in your head are so loud that you can’t concentrate. I understand doing everything possible to make every one else happy. I understand refusing to think someone else could possibly understand these feelings. If you can relate to any of this… rest assured I do understand and you are not alone.
It wasn’t until I learned to value myself and my dreams that I was able to push those feelings away. It was becoming my own cheerleader that allowed what other people said to fade into the background. It was treating myself with respect and honor that forced me to demand it from others. It was deciding that my dreams and goals were important that I began to pursue them.
You see when I learned my true value I stopped negotiating with people. I stopped letting them determine what was important to me. I realized my happiness and my sanity were non-negotiable. No longer will I allow anyone to steal my joy or keep me tied to a life feeling unappreciated. But first I had to learn my true value.
How do you determine your own value?
The same way you would determine the value of anything valuable in your life. Value is given by the one who created it. Your creator is God. He made you and He deemed you valuable. His Word says you are more valuable than rubies (Proverbs 31:10). You were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-16). You are His prized possession (James 1:18). You see He set a high value on you. You don’t have to walk around trying to figure it out – it’s already been set!!
When you go into a jewelry store to purchase a ring, you don’t negotiate or haggle the price. You pay what is on the tag or you look for something else. So, why do you negotiate your value with people who cannot see your worth?
Let’s stay there for a minute. Most people who try to negotiate a set price, do so because they don’t know the true value of the merchandise. If someone is haggling you or putting you in a position where you feel you have to negotiate on what’s important to you, more than likely they don’t see your true value and this needs to be addressed. And it’s up to you to do so.
When you walk around with your head down. When you do
n’t respect yourself or demand respect. When you settle for relationships that don’t encourage or motivate you to be better. When you allow disrespectful actions—- It’s clear that you don’t know your own value.
The value of your life and time has been determined. The only one that can negotiate or discount your value is you. If a person don’t treat you with respect, honor your presence, or appreciate who you are, you may need to look at the price you have placed on your time because at some point you discounted your value and are offering it at a price that was never given by the creator.
If you find yourself being treated in a way that challenges your set value or you would like help determining your value and/or how to present it, please set up a session with me. Not knowing your value affects your personal relationships but it also keeps you from achieving your goals which ultimately prevents from being the BEST YOU!! And that, my friend, is UNACCEPTABLE and NON-NEGOTIABLE to me!!
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Jan 14, 2016 | Growth
I’m excited to share a post from my daughter today!! The Bible says train them up in the way of the Lord!!! Such insight– stop comparing yourself to others!
Written by Yvonne Bailey
Let’s look at apples and a few of their benefits. Apples are high in potassium, a mineral used to help fight high blood pressure. The apple’s bright colors are great for the eyes. Apples are also packed with fiber which reduces cholesterol. There are a variety of ways you can eat apples. They can be a good little snack with peanut butter. You can have them as candied apples, baked apples, dried apples or you can eat them plain. There is a saying “an apple a day keeps the doctor away”.
Now, let’s examine some benefits of oranges. Oranges are full of Vitamin C which boosts the immune system. The orange’s skin also helps prevent heart diseases. Oranges help with the skin. Oranges make for a wonderful snack and a refreshing morning drink. Sadly, oranges are not as versatile as apple and there is also nothing that rhymes with orange and it is longer and harder to spell.
Are apples better than oranges? No!!
They look different. They smell different. Their names are different. But they are both a great source of nutritious value. They both are a great snack. They both have their place of perfection. They are both fruit with unique identities and qualities. They are unique in their own right, which is why we could never compare an apple to an orange.
We are the same way, the Lord created us, as individuals, in His own image but He created us with differences. We all have our own unique assignments and purposes here on this Earth. Although, you may find people with similar characteristics or even have someone who look like you, you bring something different to this earth that no one else does. You have your own unique qualities. You should never compare yourself to someone else. When you do you lose sight of your authentic identity.
Be comfortable with you and you will become limitless. The Lord has personally placed in you all you will need for your own specific assignment. So let’s take a moment to celebrate each other instead of comparing ourselves to someone else.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14
by Coach Tina | Jan 7, 2016 | Focus, Growth
Have you ever felt that you were being picked on? It seemed as if every time you turned around something else was happening. It seemed every time you took one step forward something pulled you back two steps. Have you ever just wanted to give up? Felt like you just couldn’t take any more. Those are all tricks and schemes of the enemy to keep you from accomplishing the assignment placed on your life.
To whom much is given, much is required. Luke 12:48
You see if the enemy can get your focus off your assignment not only will your blessings be hindered but the blessings of those you are assigned to help will be hindered as well. This year is going to be that year where you will see miracles upon miracles. This year will be the year everything the enemy stole from you will be replaced with interest. This year will be the year your assignment will become clear and your blessings will manifest in ways God intended for you.
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. James 1:12
But you have to be in position to receive it!! You have to be ready. You must be willing to go through the process. The problem is many of us don’t trust the process. We feel it don’t take all of that. We feel it’s too hard. We feel we don’t deserve to be tested. We feel there must be another way. Sure there may be another way but I guarantee doing it God’s way will provide a better outcome.
There is a way which seems right unto a man, but it ends in death. Proverbs 14:12
You must trust the process. It was not a coincidence that certain people were removed from your life last year. People who you thought would be there until the end and all of a sudden they were gone. It just didn’t seem fair. You really “needed” them. But were you putting them before God? Where you putting them before your assignment? Would they have hindered your assignment? Would your relationship with God be developing the way it is if they were still in your life? You see God loves you and will never withhold anything good from you. But he will make sure you are ready for it before He gives it to you. You cannot go about doing things your way and expect the blessings of God to be on your life. It don’t work like that.
The Lord disciplines those He loves. Proverbs 3:12
So when you find yourself constantly “back-paddling”. When it seems things are not going the way you desire. When the mountain seem more than you can handle, ask yourself “Am I in position?” “Am I doing things my way or God’s way?” “Is this a part of the process or am I off course?” I promise if you get in line with God, not only will you be able to deal with the trials placed before you, you will find a peace that surpasses all understanding. Blessings will flow and miracles will manifest. Trust the process. God has nothing but good intentions for you and your life.
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Dec 30, 2015 | Growth
Can you believe 2016 is right around the corner? This year is almost over… Have you set goals for the upcoming year? What are you waiting on? You have a brand new opportunity in front of you to set forth and do what ever you desire……but you got to do it right!
Did you know that God cares about your plans? Did you know that not only does He care about your plans, He really wants you to accomplish your plans? But you have to do them the RIGHT way!! You must take the right steps! You must get them approved!
There are many scriptures in the Bible that talk about goal setting. However, I’m only going to share a few with you that I think will show you HOW to set goals that will get approved.
1. Without counsel, plans go awry (wrong), but in the multitude of counselors they are established. Proverbs 15:22
Before you commit to anything you should seek advice. That advice should come from mulitple sources. First pray about it. Then research it. Then inquire from someone who has been succesful doing what you are seeking to do. Get a support system (a life coach) to help you stay on track. But do not go into anything with blinders. That is the best way to assure that you do not accomplish what you have set out to do.
2. The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty. Proverbs 21:5
A person that is diligent takes time to consider the plan of what they want to accomplish they write it down, they make a plan, they add up the cost. A person that is hasty is excessive, is wasteful, superficial and do not pay attention to details.
Clearly we are expected to be diligent. The Bible says we should do everything in decency and in order. Wouldn’t you think that include the goals we set for our lives? Write down what you want to accomplish
3. For a dream comes through much activity, and a fool’s voice is known by his many words. Ecclesiastes 5:3
You have to ask yourself “do you want it or do you expect it?” When a person wants something they talk about it a lot. But when they expect it, they actively pursue it. Don’t be like the fool only know by his many words. Instead be wise and give your dreams wings and watch the soar.
4. Be strong and do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded! 2 Chronicles 15:7
There will be times when you want to give up. There will be times when you feel you can’t go on. Those are the times to press harder. Those are the times to ask God for help. Even though you feel weak remember your work will be rewarded if you don’t give up.
Many times we give up right when we are at the finish line. Secret– you will never know how close you are to victory if you don’t write down your destination and have a map to get you to there.
As many of you know, one of my favorite verses in the Bible is Psalms 37:23 “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord and He delights in his ways”. God NEVER directs something that is NOT moving!! But He will put His seal of approval on action.
The best way to tell someone what you are doing is to show them. ~Tina Bailey
How to set goals? Seek wise counsel, write down your goals, get to work and never give up – your dreams will not only come to past they will be approved by God.
Until Next Time,
Tina
al development which lead to destiny”. You will never make it to your destiny living haphazardly. You will never make it to your destiny holding on to hurt, anger, or pain. These things will keep you stuck in your current situation. They will hinder you from living the purpose God has for you.
