by Coach Tina | Dec 18, 2015 | Focus, Growth
As the year comes to a close, everyone is talking about how 2016 is going to be “their year”. Like 2015 wasn’t??? Did you suddenly vanish for the 353 days that have already expired in 2015? “Your year”” Every year is your year. Yes, there may have been some difficult moments. Yes, there may have been times you wish you could erase from your memory bank. But …. 2015 was definitely “your year”!
Those hurdles helped you see just how high you could jump. Those struggles helped you learn to never stop praying. Those tears taught you to appreciate the smiles. Those fights reminded you there was something worth fighting for. That loss taught you to never take tomorrow for granted. If everything had gone according to plan you would have never learned to make adjustments and ultimately never improved. So 2015 was “your year”. You’ve grown a lot and you have some more growing to do. BUT before this year ends, you MUST do this—PRESS!
I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:14
HUH??? What are you talking about Tina? I think the message bible explains it best. Check this out… I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back. vs 12-14
You MUST press. You must keep running towards the goal. You cannot turn back now. You’ve come too far! You’ve accomplished too much! You’ve learned too much! You’ve seen too much! Keep going. The only way to go through is to PRESS!
P – Pursue YOUR Dreams – not the dreams of others!
R – Resist Drama – It will look for you, turn your back and RUN!
E – NO more excuses! – Do it NOW! Tomorrow is not promised.
S – Set Boundaries – Did you know that “NO” is a full sentence?
S – Be Very Selective – If it don’t work for you, don’t do it!
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Nov 11, 2015 | Growth
As a child, I was not allowed to speak when grown people were speaking. We were often told “children are to be seen not heard”. When adults were in a conversation, children were usually told to go outside and play. But today, children quickly interrupt conversations and implant their opinions like they are grown.
I remember having a conversation and my son decided to add his two cents in, I popped him in the mouth before he knew what hit him. It was a reflex. No one was talking to him. “Stay in a child’s place!”
I wonder is that what God says about us some times? I wonder do he sit and think “Why don’t she just be quiet? No one asked for her opinion”. “Why don’t he just be quiet and let me fix this mess?”
So many of our problems would be solved if we would learn to keep our mouths closed. We have a tendency of making the issue worse just by the things we say. Have you ever been in court or seen a court case on television, and you just want to tell the witness to be quiet? They are giving far too much information. They are answering questions that were never even asked.
Proverbs 17:27-28 says “He who restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man (woman) of understanding. Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise. When he closes his lips he is considered prudent (wise)”.
We must learn to watch our mouths! We must learn to watch the words that come from our mouths! We are placing curses and destruction in our lives with our words.
Do you say “she makes me sick”? Then wonder why when you are around that person you feel ill. Do you say “this job is killing me”? Then wonder why you feel a heaviness any time you are around your co-workers. My favorite is “I love you to death”. People can suck the life right out of you all in the name of love. Please don’t love me to death, love me to life.
Your words are powerful. So before you speak, THINK!!
T – Is this TRUE?
H – Is this HELPFUL?
I – Is this INSPIRING?
N– Is this NECESSARY?
K – Is this KIND?
Just because a thought forms in your mind does not require that it be released from your mouth. You were given two ears and one mouth for a reason. Just watch your mouth! God really don’t need your help to bless you, but you can make the task a lot easier if you would stop blocking the blessing with your words.
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Nov 5, 2015 | Growth
Have you ever had that person that seems to always be tooting their horn, talking about all their accomplishments? You know that one that seems to never make a mistake. The one that seems so much better than everyone else. They appear to be so sure of themselves that it makes you sick to your stomach. You want to scream “You Ain’t All THAT!!”
Why do you think people like that bother you so much? Is their confidence causing you to question yourself? Do you wish you had that type of confidence? Do listening to their accomplishments make you feel less than? Are you secretly obsessing over what they have? Are you wishing you had done more in life?
Did you know those type of thoughts are tricks of the enemy? Part of the enemy’s job is to plant seeds of doubt in your mind. If he can get you to focus on what others are doing, you can’t focus on what God is doing in your life. Regardless of what you have heard, the enemy is powerless. His power comes from what we give him to work with. If you lack confidence in yourself, he will use it against you. If you struggle with self-esteem issues, he will use it against you. If you aren’t sure of your purpose, he will use it against you.
Instead of comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to the person you were yesterday. Each day we should strive to be better than we were the day before. Each day we should strive to do better than we did the day before. Each day is God giving us an opportunity to improve.
His mercies are renewed every day, great is His faithfulness. Lamentations 3:23
It’s not about being better than someone else. It is truly about being a vessel God can use. It is being willing to do be
tter. It is about being willing to allow God to make you better. It is about not wanting to continue to do the things you have been doing. When you compare yourself to others, you discredit what God created in you. You were not created in the image of man, you were created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). If you want to compare yourself to someone, compare yourself to God!
One would say I could never measure up to God. This is true but I’d rather live a life trying to be like Him than live a life based off the lies someone else is showing me. We all have issues. We all have flaws. No one walks around displaying their flaws but that don’t mean they aren’t there. It just means the person is striving to be better than they were yesterday. They are working on their flaws. They are not giving the enemy power over them, they are walking in confidence of who they are. They are embracing what God is doing in their lives.
Each day you wake up, strive to be better. Each day, strive to do better. Each day, be thankful for another opportunity. Each day you wake up mark it as a day of self-improvement.
Remember yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not promised but today is a gift from God.
So when you make a conscious effort to make changes in yourself each day, you can walk around and say “I AM ALL THAT!” Yes, you may have people that seek to discredit you. So what!! As long as you know you are striving to be better than you were yesterday; as long as you know you are working towards being who God called you to be, don’t worry about what people say!! People are going to talk – remember the enemy uses what’s available – unfortunately sometimes it’s people.
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Oct 28, 2015 | Growth
What do you do when the love you show someone is not returned? Regardless of how much you love them, it seems they just don’t love you back. You go out of your way to show them the affection, yet you end up hurt from their lack of compassion towards you. You want to scream, “LOVE ME ALREADY!!”
The Bible says we are to love each other. Actually it was a command that God gave us. “A command I give to you, love one another as I love you”. John 13:34 It is your duty to love others. So regardless if they show you love you or not, you must love them.
Now the instruction is to love others, not to tolerate being mistreated by others. Some people just don’t know how to love or to show love. This has nothing to do with you or the love you show them, this has everything to do with them and their selfish desires. Remember, you have not because you ask not. I truly believe whatever you desire in life, you have the ability to ask God and He is faithful to give it to you. This includes the ability to love and the ability to show love. If you find yourself unable to show love, ask God to help you. He WILL!!
“Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love”. 1 John 4:8.
Instead of being upset that someone don’t love you, be upset that they don’t know God.
Love is love. Your love will not change a person’s actions. Your love will not make a person better. If a person is a bully, they are going to continue being mean. A liar will continue
to lie. A cheater will continue to cheat. A thief will continue to steal. Your love, in itself, will not change that person. Only the person’s true desire to change, will cause a change in them. Their change is their responsibility not yours.
So many times we offer love to people in hopes of being loved in return. There are even times when we only show love because we want something back. We have convinced ourselves the love we receive from others is predicated by the love we offer to them. You better stop fooling yourself. Just because you show someone love is not a requirement for them to love you. Learn to show yourself the love you so deeply desire. Loving yourself is your responsibility.
The love you show others, should never be contingent upon receiving something in return. You show love because that’s what you have been commanded to do. Just like forgiveness, love is not what you do for others, love is what you do for yourself. Love is what you do out of obedience to God.
Love should never be conditional. What if God’s love was conditional?
Let’s be honest, we would be some loveless, lonely people.
There is another scripture that says, “Love covers a multitude of sin” 1 Peter 4:8. Love covers the sin. It don’t mean the sin is not there. It means because you are showing love (true love) the sin is not what you focus on. You love people where they are. You love people out of obedience. You love people because God loves you. Then you pray for their sins and yours.
So when the love isn’t returned, and you find yourself wanting to withhold the love… When the love isn’t meeting the expectations you had in mind… remember you are not showing love in order to get something back, you are showing love because God commanded you to do so. You are showing love because God demonstrates love towards you.
You are showing love because GOD IS LOVE.
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Oct 16, 2015 | Growth
There comes a time in life when you have to throw up your hands and ask for help. Those of you that know me or have at least read my book, “What You’re Hiding is Hindering Your Blessing”, know I’ve struggled with asking for help. I was one of those people that believed asking for help was a sign of weakness.
Well as of recent, I’ve learned asking for help is a sign of strength. A realization that I don’t have to do it alone and that I shouldn’t do it alone. The problem is not in asking for help. The problem is in who you are asking for help.
For many years, I walked around angry. I was angry as a young girl. I was angry as a teenager. I was angry as a young woman. I was just angry. Yes, there were many occurrences that I could blame as the reasons behind my anger. I could even get several people to stand in agreement that I had a “right” to be angry. But what does anger really do for you? It will never solve the problem. It will never change the situation. It will not make the situation right. Most of the time it will just keep you stuck!!
We all have what I call a “victim story”. Most of us enjoy telling our story, especially to someone that wants to listen to it and will show sympathy. But I’ve learned constantly retelling that story does not help. In fact, you find yourself reliving the situation over and over again. The pain continues to rest inside of you and the anger builds. Your story becomes your life.
I don’t know about you but I don’t want pain to be the story of my life.
There comes a time when enough is enough and you must ask for help. Even in situations like –anger. However, be careful who you reach out to. Everyone is not equipped to handle your story. Not everyone can give you sound advice and encouragement. When you really get tired of being angry, ask God to release the anger from you. He is faithful and loves you so much that not only will he release you of the anger, He will begin to erase the evidence of the anger.
Isn’t that amazing? Not only will He stop the anger but He’ll help you to forget what caused the anger.
It wasn’t until I asked God to help me with my anger that I was able to release it. It wasn’t until I stop waddling in my anger that I was able to stand
up in my deliverance. It wasn’t until I stop telling the stories that the story stopped controlling me. It wasn’t until I stop telling the story that I learned the lessons from my story.
So many times we stay stuck in our anger because we feel if we let it go, it says whatever caused our anger didn’t exist. Okay, wait!! Maybe that’s just me. Well I felt, if I let go of the anger I was letting the person that hurt me off the hook. That’s the furthest thing from the truth. When you let go of that anger, you are letting YOURSELF off the hook. You are saying I’m tired of reliving this pain. I’m tired of allowing everyday thoughts to bring my spirits down. I’m tired of not truly being happy.
Do you realize that you have the power to make yourself happy? Do you realize you have the ability to make yourself smile even when you want to cry? Do you realize that no one can “make” you sad? Yes, people can do things that trigger different thoughts in your mind. Something happens and it reminds you of a something from your past. Those thoughts then prompt a feeling inside of you and you begin to react. So it’s not what someone else did. It’s not what someone else said. It’s the thoughts you have associated with whatever happened that makes you feel a certain way. And again, guess who controls your feelings? You do!!
I was tired of being angry. I was tired of walking around telling my sad story. I was tired of being a victim. I
was just plain tired.
So one day I decided I was not going to hold on to that anger any more. I didn’t know how I was going to let it go. But I was determined that I was letting it go!! I cried out to God and this is what I started seeing take place:
- I rewrote my “victim story” and made it a “story of victory”.
- I changed how I viewed the situation. I no longer looked at it from a defeated position.
- I focused on the lessons I learned and vowed never to forget them.
- I used what I learned to be a help to someone else.
- I thanked God for trusting me enough to bring me through the struggle.
You see your story is not to tear you down. Your story is to build you up, so that you can build up the next person. So when you are tired of being angry. When you are tired of being the victim. Ask God to help you become the victor and to show you how your story is to help the next person let go of their anger.
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Sep 24, 2015 | Focus, Growth
It’s just not fair!!! When I was 9 years old my father died of a massive heart attack. I remember being so mad and I remained that way for years. You see my dad was my best friend. I could talk to him about anything. We had this routine where we would go to the store purchase our favorite snack items, climb up into our favorite tree, and enjoy our purchases and a long conversation about everything and anything. So when he died, I was mad. I was hurt and I declared this just “IS NOT FAIR!!!” I wanted my dad back. I wanted my friend back.
This week our family experienced a loss that opened up old wounds for some of us. I heard someone say “no one should have to deal with this (pain)”. I completely understood what she meant. Death can be hard and the pain of losing someone you love has a tendency to hurt down to the core. It’s an indescribable ache. It’s a hurt that only “It’s just not fair” can sum up.
However, there will be things that happen in our lives that just don’t make sense to us, but we have to believe that God will never make a mistake. We have to rest in the fac
t that God loves us and knows not only what the future holds but what we have to go through in order to be prepared for it. When we go through those moments of misunderstanding or feeling as if life has mistreated us, we have a choice – turn from the only one that can help or run to HIM!!
I know you are saying, “Okay, I understand all of that but how do I do that?” How do I run to God? How do I get through this pain? The Bible gives specific instructions for us to follow: It says “Cast all your cares on Him for He cares for you” 1 Peter 5”7. It also says “Come to me all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest” Matthew 11:28.
We run to God by remembering:
- God cares for you even down to the last detail. James 5:11 Focus your attention on Him and His Love. Even when it’s hard. Even you don’t want to. FOCUS!!!!
- God promises to never leave you and He’s always near. Deuteronomy 31:6 Cry out to Him. Be honest with Him. Tell Him that it hurts. Tell Him that you need Him to help you with this pain.
- God will comfort you if you allow Him. Isaiah 49:13. Allow Him to comfort you. Remember He knows everything about you. He created you. He knows how to comfort you. He knows how to love on you. And most importantly He wants to do those things just because He loves you.
For me to say that I don’t miss my dad would be a lie. For me to say “I don’t feel like life is unfair sometimes” would be a lie. For me to say that I don’t understand the pain associated with loss, hurt and mistreatment would be a bigger lie. But I am living evidence that God can heal the hurt. I know that God is concerned with every hurt I feel and He’s able to comfort it. I know that He sees and captures every tear that falls down my cheek. Even though the pain may not go completely away – God has a way of making it tolerable and bringing you out stronger because of it. Remember although you may experience pain, God is never the cause of your pain. So during those times when life seem “unfair”, instead of running from God try running to Him. He is standing there wanting to wrap His arms around you and comfort you.
Until Next Time,
Tina
