by Coach Tina | Apr 7, 2018 | Encouragement, Fear, Gratitude, Growth, More Abundant Series
And I heard clearly “I can’t heal what you deny”.
And just like that- the flood gates opened and every emotion I ever felt came tumbling out in the form of tears. My eyes are still swollen this morning (I’ll blame it on the pollen) but my heart is lighter. The weight is lifted. I feel so much better.
I’m so grateful for a God that will allow me to lay my burdens at HIS feet without judgement! A space where I don’t have to be a superwoman or a super-saint. A space where I can just be me.
As a fatherless daughter and an abused wife, it was hard for me to trust ALL of me to God. I was afraid HE would be like every other man in my life and abandon or hurt me. Yet God has shown himself faithful. Loving. Dependable. Unwavering. HE has wrapped me in HIS arms and comforted the scared parts of me even when I didn’t know how to let them go.
Release is good. Crying is good. Acknowledging the hurt is good. That’s where healing begins. God loves his children and is willing to heal the pain. But we MUST give it to HIM.
What do you need to lay at the Father’s feet? What have you denied yet want healed? What are you allowing to weigh you down because you refuse to deal with the emotions behind it? Where have you refused God access? He can’t heal what you deny!!!
Until Next Time,
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by Coach Tina | Mar 31, 2018 | Abuse, Encouragement, Focus, Gratitude, Growth, More Abundant Series, purpose
As I lay here thinking about life, there are things that make me sad but more that make me extremely happy. There was a time I lived in denial and truly believed I had to accept what life offered because some way some how it was all I deserved. I’ve since pushed those thoughts away and called them what they are LIES!
I realize accepting less than you desire is NOT how life works. I don’t have to settle. I don’t have to accept what life offers me. I can decide what is good or bad. What I keep and what I let go of. I decide what makes me happy or sad. But more importantly when I’m happy and when I’m sad.
You see I once allowed people to inform me of how I was supposed to feel. 
My dad died, oh he’s in a better place. You should rejoice.
My money was funny, oh, things will turn around just believe.
My marriage was falling a part oh, hang in there it gets better you ain’t the only one. It’s not that bad. Pray about it.
No, I didn’t feel like rejoicing, I wanted my daddy but hid those emotions all the way through my adult life. I got tired of struggling financially or believing that’s just the way it is. So, I made a plan and began executing it. Used the skills God gave me to make more money and oet out of debt. My marriage that deserves it’s own paragraph.
For someone to mistreat me, is not because I deserve it. It’s they didn’t understood my value. To be lied to was an indication they didn’t know how valuable the truth is to me. To walk away well, they didn’t appreciate the privileges afforded them by being in my life.
I don’t think I’m better than others BUT I, now, know I’m too good to settle for mistreatment and abuse. Lack or barely getting by. Or suppressing my feelings. That is definitely not the life I signed up for and don’t have to make it the life I live.
So as I sit here, tears rolling down my face. It’s no longer from denial, hurt or pain. It’s in the satisfaction that with God’s guidance, I’m finally no longer tolerating life but creating a life I LOVE!
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Mar 8, 2018 | Encouragement, Gratitude, Growth, purpose
About last night…. Isn’t that how they start off when they want to bring drama and excitement to their story? Well, I can honestly say last night was AMAZING!
I spoke at this event called FailFest! It’s an opportunity for people in the nonprofit sector to share some of their most impactful fails and what they learned from them. Speakers shared experiences about hiring the wrong person, conferences that failed because of poor planning, personal values not meeting organizational values, trying to use influence to manipulate others to get what they want and having it backfire, etc.
Well you know me – I had to be extra and talk about personal fails. Like growing up without a father in the house, getting pregnant at 17 and being raped at 18. Then adding my biggest fail of allowing that inner-me to get the best of me and give up on my dreams. I ended my speech by saying ‘even though I had fails, I WAS NOT A FAILURE’. I was feeling pretty good about my extra – ness!
Then this morning when I got up and saw the video and the pictures splattered all over social media, I cringed! I hid like a child waiting to get a whooping! Like OMG!
I thought about all the things I should have done – like pull my shirt down, wear Spanx (I knew I was going to be in front of people), stand up straight (that in itself would have covered some of the flaws), and make more eye contact with the audience. And then the voice of my Toastmaster’s teacher screamed in my ears ‘articulation is 90% of your presentation’ – Oh well my articulation may have been a little off cause I was speed reading! Heck they only gave us 5 minutes and I had a lot to say!
But then the gentle voice inside of me reminded me of the lady that came over afterwards and said, “Thank you for sharing your story – there are so many people that could relate including me!” Or the woman that said, “Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing such a personal story. You were amazing”. Or maybe it was the two organizations that asked me to come speak with their clients (one of which I’ve been trying to connect with for over 2 years). But then there was the one lady with tears in her eyes that said, “Thank you! Because of what you said, I no longer feel like a failure!”
Let me tell you that made all the “fails” of last night simply amazing!
We are so hard on ourselves. Always looking for the things we did wrong instead of the things we did right. We can pull a compliment for someone else out of the air but struggle to find one good thing about ourselves even when everything is “perfect”.
Well about last night… it taught me
- I do have a story to tell and it will change lives!
- To make 95% of what I say come from my heart, everything else will work itself out!
- To be true to who I am and embrace my past – it has made me stronger!
- People really aren’t looking at what I have on if I’m bringing a message they can relate to!
- I may have failed some things in my life but I am not a failure! In fact, I’m pretty awesome!
Here is the video from last night. Hope you enjoy it!
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Feb 28, 2018 | Bible Challenge
If you look at some of the post on social media, you would think certain people live a perfect life, their children do no wrong, their marriages are great, they have already arrived in their abundance and well life is PERFECTO!
Let me help you, we all have struggles. We all have difficulties. We all have issues that tug on our hearts. The challenge is not to allow your issues to have you.
We must dig deep inside ourselves, be reminded of who God says we are, and walk according to the promises HE gave us. Does that mean everything is going to be great? NOPE!!! But it does mean we know where our help comes from. It does mean we can call on HIM for help when we need it. It does mean we will come through this stronger than we went in.
This month’s Bible Challenge talks about knowing who you are in Christ.
“You are Who God Says You Are!” #selfworth
There are going to be days you may not “feel” like royalty or a conqueror. That’s okay! It’s not about your feelings, it’s about your knowing. God is asking us to believe who He says He is, believe who He says we are and live a life that helps others to see it as well. Every day is not going to be perfect. Every day the sun will not shine. But on those imperfect days when the storms have rolled in, you can find shelter if you seek it and sometimes it’s sitting quietly inside of you.
Get the bible challenge scriptures here. Then join me on facebook as we look at each scripture and see who GOD SAYS we are.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Feb 14, 2018 | Fear
It really was my desire to stay clear of writing anything VALENTINE’S!! Like if I just focused on today being my son’s birthday instead of ALL LOVERS’ DAY, maybe I would float through the day with a smile on my face and feel all bubbly inside. Well around 11:00 this morning the bubbly feeling went running out the door and the smile on my face was challenged by the tears that formed in my eyes. 
Reality set in. This is the first Valentine’s I would spend as a single woman. There would be no flowers when I get home. No teddy bear or candy. I wouldn’t be dressing up for a fancy dinner. I wouldn’t have my bath ran with rose pedals floating on top of the bubble bath. What in the world would I do? Then I busted out laughing, I hadn’t had those things in almost 5 years.
So, on the way home I will stop by the store pick me up some flowers. Figure out what I want to eat. Get me a bottle of Moscato (hey it’s a special night don’t judge me). Light the candles in my bathroom. Run me a nice bath and relax.
This year will probably be the best Valentine’s Day I’ve had in a long time. Full of peace and tranquility. Doing what I want to do instead of crying because nothing was done. I think I can get use to this single life. It has a way of allowing me to be who I always wanted to be without having to apologize for it.
So Happy Valentine’s Day! Hope yours offer you a bit of revelation the way mine has.
Until next time,
