by Coach Tina | Apr 20, 2018 | Encouragement, Focus, Gratitude, Growth, More Abundant Series
For the last few years, I’ve developed a tradition where a couple days before my birthday, I sit with a cup of tea or a glass of wine; depending on how I’m feeling and reflect on what transpired over the last 365 days. My birthday has become my personal New Year Celebration! I take a moment and look at what was good, what was not so good, what I could have done better, what I did really good, what worked and what did not work and then I make adjustments to make sure I continue “to create a life I love instead of just tolerating life”.
Although, 46 was very eventful, scary, foreign, and full of first for me, I can sit here and say I wouldn’t change anything about it!! I grew so much mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
My business grew. My self-awareness grew. My network grew. My love grew. Thankfully my pants size did NOT grow (yay for that)!!
But here are some reflections I’d like to share. This year showed me…
- The true definition of strength. For most of my adult life, I compared myself to everyone resulting in me questioning my abilities and my strength. Sadly, I truly lived life afraid I wasn’t strong enough to do certain things. I allowed fear to paralyze me and hinder me from doing the thing I longed to do the most; like, speak in front of a group. Yet, this year I did it more times than I can count. Now, I teach other women to define what strength means to them and how to embrace it.
- I attract what I become. One of the things my ex would constantly tell me was “no one loves you but me”. And I believed it! I was so fearful of him not being a part of my life because I desperately wanted to be loved and I thought he was the only one that would truly love me. This year, I learned I attract what I become, so I became my own lover. I learned to love myself unconditionally and unapologetically. In return, I attracted people that do the same.
- My happiness is a choice I get to make. Happiness is a something I can have or something I sit on the side and watch others enjoy. Well this year I decided I was going to have it!! I was going to have a lot of it. And I would determine what it looks like and not focus on what others say it is. No longer would I look for others to fulfill my “happy tank” I would surround myself with the things in life that constantly made me happy so that my tank would never run low.
- I have really good friends. I’ve learned the true meaning of healthy relationships, setting boundaries and sticking to them! Which also meant I had to admit I had some really unhealthy relationships and no boundaries! This year, I made some hard decisions. I had to let some stuff and some people go but now I have relationships that serve me and not take advantage of me. I have people that I can depend on and people I don’t mind serving.
- Traditions have their place but should never replace an opportunity to grow. This year, I learned I had a lot of traditions that robbed me of happiness, joy and life. I was doing thing not because I wanted to but because it was what I always did. I changed that this year, now I do things that I desire. Things that make me happy. Things that help me grow. Things that I love. No more tradition for the sake of tradition – now it’s all because it I really want to do it.
I’m excited about 47!! I’m excited about what’s to come. But more than anything…. I’m excited that 46 taught me to live today and if tomorrow comes, be happy! I have another opportunity to make yesterday jealous!!!
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Apr 11, 2018 | Encouragement, Focus, Growth, More Abundant Series
There is a gazillon (is that even a word) quotes on being successful. Go a head and google it, I’ll wait. (tapping fingers patiently) I was right, wasn’t I? There’s a lot. But here’s the thing, no one ever tells you success starts with a decision to want to be successful.
Seriously, many will say, “I’m going to be successful” – that’s a “thought”. But actually, putting together a plan and executing is when the “decision’ is made.
There will be moments when you want to give up. There will be moments when you feel it’s more work than you want to do. There will be times when you say, “the heck with it, I’m done”!! And those are the moments when you ask yourself “did I make a decision or have a thought”?
A thought will allow you to quit. A thought will let you give up. A thought will run at the first sign of struggle. A thought will cry and throw in the towel.
But a decision…. Oh, it keeps going even when you can’t see anything happening. It keeps going when everyone around you says to quit. A decision pushes through the tears. A decision decides this is what I want and I’m not going to stop until I get it.
A DECISION – now that’s the real secret to success.
Regardless what success looks like to you, when you decide that you really want it, no one can stop you. No one can distract you. No one can deter you. You will do everything in your power to make it happen.
So, I ask, do you want to be successful? Maybe it’s building your business. Getting that promotion. Strengthening your marriage. Developing better friendships. Encouraging your children. Losing weight. Writing the book. Getting out of the abusive relationship. Whatever it is… Whatever you deem success looks like to you. How bad do you want it? Have you decided or are you still thinking?
Write the vision and make it plain…(Habakkuk 2:2)
Here’s the secrets I promised… the steps to being successful
1. Make a plan. You will never get where you are intending to go without a plan. Let’s face it we are creatures of habit and without a plan we do we’ve always done.
2. Execute the plan. Having a plan is not enough. You MUST take the steps you’ve defined in your plan. Get up off the couch and go to the gym. Set aside 30 minutes a day and write in your book. Plan fun activities with your loved ones. Work your plan or it won’t work.
3. Take risk. Anyone who has ever been successful, took risk. You can’t play it safe and be successful. Not only does it broaden your horizons, it makes life fun.
4. Do not settle. You will never accomplish the goals you set for yourself settling. It just won’t happen. If I settled with just writing in my journal, I would have never published my books. If I had settled with tolerating life, I would have never created a life I love.
5. Ask for help. Find a person who is doing what you want to do and ask for help. Most people who are successful don’t mind helping you because they know how much they struggled to get where they are and wished someone would have helped them.
6. Listen to instruction!!! The one thing that would keep someone from helping you (outside of selfishness) is having their time and knowledge wasted. Remember you sought them out because they are where you want to be. So, listen to them. Glean from them. Learn from them.
7. Celebrate often. Don’t wait until the end to celebrate. Find ways to celebrate the small wins because that is what will keep you pushing forward.
You can do this. In fact, you can use the above steps to accomplish anything you want in life. It all begins with a decision.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Apr 7, 2018 | Encouragement, Fear, Gratitude, Growth, More Abundant Series
And I heard clearly “I can’t heal what you deny”.
And just like that- the flood gates opened and every emotion I ever felt came tumbling out in the form of tears. My eyes are still swollen this morning (I’ll blame it on the pollen) but my heart is lighter. The weight is lifted. I feel so much better.
I’m so grateful for a God that will allow me to lay my burdens at HIS feet without judgement! A space where I don’t have to be a superwoman or a super-saint. A space where I can just be me.
As a fatherless daughter and an abused wife, it was hard for me to trust ALL of me to God. I was afraid HE would be like every other man in my life and abandon or hurt me. Yet God has shown himself faithful. Loving. Dependable. Unwavering. HE has wrapped me in HIS arms and comforted the scared parts of me even when I didn’t know how to let them go.
Release is good. Crying is good. Acknowledging the hurt is good. That’s where healing begins. God loves his children and is willing to heal the pain. But we MUST give it to HIM.
What do you need to lay at the Father’s feet? What have you denied yet want healed? What are you allowing to weigh you down because you refuse to deal with the emotions behind it? Where have you refused God access? He can’t heal what you deny!!!
Until Next Time,
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by Coach Tina | Mar 31, 2018 | Abuse, Encouragement, Focus, Gratitude, Growth, More Abundant Series, purpose
As I lay here thinking about life, there are things that make me sad but more that make me extremely happy. There was a time I lived in denial and truly believed I had to accept what life offered because some way some how it was all I deserved. I’ve since pushed those thoughts away and called them what they are LIES!
I realize accepting less than you desire is NOT how life works. I don’t have to settle. I don’t have to accept what life offers me. I can decide what is good or bad. What I keep and what I let go of. I decide what makes me happy or sad. But more importantly when I’m happy and when I’m sad.
You see I once allowed people to inform me of how I was supposed to feel. 
My dad died, oh he’s in a better place. You should rejoice.
My money was funny, oh, things will turn around just believe.
My marriage was falling a part oh, hang in there it gets better you ain’t the only one. It’s not that bad. Pray about it.
No, I didn’t feel like rejoicing, I wanted my daddy but hid those emotions all the way through my adult life. I got tired of struggling financially or believing that’s just the way it is. So, I made a plan and began executing it. Used the skills God gave me to make more money and oet out of debt. My marriage that deserves it’s own paragraph.
For someone to mistreat me, is not because I deserve it. It’s they didn’t understood my value. To be lied to was an indication they didn’t know how valuable the truth is to me. To walk away well, they didn’t appreciate the privileges afforded them by being in my life.
I don’t think I’m better than others BUT I, now, know I’m too good to settle for mistreatment and abuse. Lack or barely getting by. Or suppressing my feelings. That is definitely not the life I signed up for and don’t have to make it the life I live.
So as I sit here, tears rolling down my face. It’s no longer from denial, hurt or pain. It’s in the satisfaction that with God’s guidance, I’m finally no longer tolerating life but creating a life I LOVE!
Until Next Time,
For the last few years, I’ve developed a tradition where a couple days before my birthday, I sit with a cup of tea or a glass of wine; depending on how I’m feeling and reflect on what transpired over the last 365 days. My birthday has become my personal New Year Celebration! I take a moment and look at what was good, what was not so good, what I could have done better, what I did really good, what worked and what did not work and then I make adjustments to make sure I continue “to create a life I love instead of just tolerating life”.
