by Coach Tina | Aug 15, 2023 | Growth
If you do a simple search online and type in Life Coach you will get a gazillion results. It’s almost the same on social media! And if you type in my name, you will see Tina Bailey, Master Life Coach – The Woman for Women.
The problem I have with coaching is there are no regulations associated with being a life coach. You can even take a course and receive a piece of paper certifying you a “Life Coach”. Don’t believe me? Send me a message and I’ll share a link with you. It is valid and credited. I use to GIVE it to my clients at no cost. Why? Because I know watching a few videos will NOT make you a coach no more than going to the hospital will make you a doctor! There’s steps to the game that requires a lot more than a piece of paper. You must be willing to put in the work. You must be willing to do the heavy lifting. You must be willing to be coachable yourself. And let’s face it most people in today’s society are looking for a quick fix and don’t want to put in the work required to learn the skill of coaching.
Therefore I quit calling myself a coach! Yes, I have over a decade of experience and many clients who to this day call me Coach T. I also have several certifications, TEN I think, but it was not those certificates that qualified me to coach. It was the lessons I learned along the way. It was the sweat and tears I shed as I listened to clients pour out their hearts when another attempt at a skill failed. It was trying to convince a client to keep going when they were under pressure. It was digging through my own pile of manure that equipped me to be a coach.
You see coaches help you accomplish goals but most of them don’t teach you how to deal with the obstacles that are outside of your control. Many of the ones that attempt to prepare you for the challenges, have crossed the line and are working outside of their pay grade as an unqualified therapist.
Don’t get me wrong you will look on my website and some of my brochures and see the words Master Life Coach. Basically that means I’ve studied several different types of coaching techniques and mastered the implementation of them. It also means I am certified to teach other coaches and I still do. I love working with coaches. I love helping them stretch out of their comfort zone. I love helping them develop their coaching business. I love seeing the excitement when they land their first client. I love when they see their program bring life and transformation into another soul. I love when they can look at their own work and be proud. I love the art of coaching. But I hate the lack of regulations that are associated with it.
At the time of this writing, I have trained several coaches, developed a program designed to equip coaches to build their own business, and I have several coaches that I refer clients to. I even have a handful of clients that I still work with on a coaching level. BUT my passion has changed. One will say, I still coach but I do more business to business transactions right now.
I believe I can reach more people, training than I can coaching. I can help others grow into their passion and be fulfilled in mine. I am not knocking the coaching industry – hell I support it with every thing I have and my business plan is evident of it. I just want to make it clear that obtaining a piece of paper does not equate to being a coach.
If you have a desire to be a coach, I would tell you to go for it. It is a very exciting and fulfilling job. But remember you are placing someone’s life in your hands. They are looking at you as the expert. As the person that can get them from point A to point B in the quickest amount of time as possible. Many of them have tried several alternatives and failed. You are sometimes their final hope. So if you are heart is not in it and you are only looking to make your next dollar, GET OUT! Leave this job to those of us that have a real desire to see others excel.
I will always be a coach. I will always hold my certification and credentialing dear and guard them. I will continue to put in the work to sharpen my skill. I will work even harder to help others sharpen their skills and become gifted at coaching. I worked hard for my title as Master Life Coach. But being a mentor and a consultant to businesses makes my heart smile.
Find the thing you love and you will never have to work.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Jul 24, 2023 | Growth
Sometimes you must take a deep breath, remember who you are and move on! Everyone that crosses your path does not deserve access to you. Maya Angelou said it best, “when a person shows you who they are, believe them”. I say when a person reveals their truth don’t question it, just move on!
I’m not sure if it’s age, maturity, healing or just a DGAF attitude but something has changed over here. I went from that person ALWAYS trying to keep the peace to that person that realizes my own peace is the only thing I can keep. I went from that person that would give you the shirt off my back to that person that realized I don’t like being cold so you can’t have mine, but I will show you how to get one. I went from that person who tried to get you to see my point of view to that person that realizes you cannot change the viewpoint of anyone that does not want to see your side of the story.
I’m no longer willing to justify the actions of people that won’t take accountability for their actions. They revealed their truth and I ain’t questioning it! I’m going to take a deep breath, remember who I am and move on. I suggest you do the same.
There will always be at least one individual that will misinterpret what you say with what you have said or want you to return to the person you used to be. Somebody will attempt to play mind games trying to make you feel bad for giving them what they gave you. Listen!!! Anyone that has a problem with your boundaries is mad because they realize you are NO longer allowing them to reap the benefits of what you have to offer without showing reciprocity.
Girl, take a deep breath!
You have been gasping for air for way too long. You have jumped over backwards to make things work. You have put yourself on the backburner and cut the damn flame OFF! It’s time to re-ignite it.
It’s time to rise up. It’s time to claim your role as CEO of your own life. You don’t have time to focus on things out of your control. Your assignment is too big. When you focus on things outside of your control, you must take your mind off the things you can control. YOU, your peace, your happiness, and your money. Anything else is outside of your scope of influence.
You cannot give into the problems that affect your bottom line. I know that sounds harsh to the one that is struggling with setting boundaries. BUT, girlfriend, if you don’t make a conscious decision to put your needs before the wants of others, your needs will NEVER be a priority. You will find yourself eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (which is my favorite) while paying for someone else to eat sushi (which I hate). You will be gasping for air while holding the oxygen mask on someone else’s face. You will be building an empire for someone else while daydreaming about your own. NO ma’am.
Remember who you are.
You are the BOSS. You are the CEO of your own life. You make the rules of engagement. You decide who to give access to. You decide how you want the business to run. You decide who you want on your team. You decide who can sit at your table. You decide whose opinion is worthy of your time. You decide if you take a 3-hour lunch or work an all-nighter. Personally, I’m taking the 3-hour lunch because I’ve made sure to accommodate them in my business plan!
I’ve learned the opinion of people that have not walked in my shoes, pay my bills, or been asked to contribute to my thought process, do not get to decide how I show up in my own life. Again, maybe you can pencil this attitude into your own life and that’s your choice. But I promise you this, the person you are jumping through hoops to impress is not worried about how you feel about them.
Girl, take a deep breath, remember who you are and move on.
Yes, I waited to add the last part. Because moving on will be the problem for most of you. You have been groomed and conditioned to stay in situations way too long. You have been taught never to put yourself first because that’s selfish. You were told not to boost or brag. You were told to play nicely and never make someone else cry even if they made you cry. You were taught to share your last. Well, I call bull-ish! I’m tired of trying to pour myself a cup of water from an empty pitcher. Imagine that! I mean have you ever had your mind set on a glass of juice only to reach into the refrigerator and the container is empty. Man, you walk about disappointed and mad! Well, that’s exactly what you are doing when you put the wants of others before your own needs.
I will be the first to admit, I struggled with moving on. I was a people pleaser. I wanted to be liked. I thought I had to give to receive and give when I received. I thought my needs were not important. Well again I call bull-ish. The right people will reciprocate your actions. They will want to see you succeed. They will cheer your success. They will love you the way you love them. They will want to be a part of your team instead of making you feel like you must give up on your dreams because theirs need your attention. Again – these requirements are part of my business plan. If you are not reciprocating, you cannot stay.
It’s time to move on. Move on to bigger things. Move on to better things. Move on to happier times. Move on to living the life you truly desire. Move on from caring what someone thinks about how you run your business.
Your life is your business, and your business is your life! No one gets to decide what’s in the business plan but you.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Jun 27, 2023 | Growth
Can you do me a favor? Think about your activities over the last month. What happened? What did you do? What stands out in your mind? Do you feel excited or anxious? Do you feel empowered or overwhelmed?
Seriously, focus on the emotion you feel about your month. Now, ask yourself, how much time did you spend building YOU? How much time did you spend on your career or your business? (YES, there is a difference!)
When you spend time building YOU, your business or career reaps the benefit! When you spend all your time focusing on your business or career, YOUR body and feelings take a beating! If you don’t take time to invest in yourself, no one else will either.
Now let’s go back to the original questions, what did you do this month? If all you can think about is the contracts you signed, the blogs you wrote, the clients you met with, or the to-do list that sat on your desk, you have missed it. Remember your goal is to give yourself a minimum of 10% of your time each month which equals 3 days. That’s NOT a lot of time but here you are with only THREE days left in the month and you have not invested in you.
What will you do this week that will help you grow as a person? Here are some suggestions:
- Go for a hike or walk
- Read or listen to a book
- Take a hot bath while listening to some soft jazz
- Have a glass of wine in a pretty flute
- Sign up for a class that you have always wanted to take
- Work on a hobby or connect with a social group that caters to your hobby
If you don’t invest in yourself no one else will either. You were NOT created to just work. Your life means more than that. You mean more than that. If all your time is focused on building a career or business, you will not have the capacity needed to run that business effectively.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Jun 16, 2023 | Growth
Your procrastination is not my emergency. ~Tina Bailey
I hate being rushed. It makes me feel as if my time is not valued. It makes me think the person on the other end is only thinking about themselves and focused on getting what they need. I HATE IT!
As a Boss, whether you are the owner of a business or you are running your day-to-day life activities, I’m sure you have had moments where you felt someone was trying to rush you into making a decision that you would prefer to process first. Be careful when dealing with people like that. I call these people leeches and they will suck you dry if you allow them.
In a previous post, I talked about adding up the cost when making decisions. How much will this decision cost you? How much time will you need to set aside to accomplish the goal? How much energy will it require of you? Do you have the capacity to handle the task? What will you have to sacrifice to make it happen? Is the return of investment worth it? Those are hard questions; but, questions that MUST be answered prior to committing to anything.
The person rushing you to decide, could be a client, an employee or a friend. How do you handle it? Most people that rush you to make a decision have not added up the cost on their end and are rushing to meet a personal deadline. Newsflash: That is NOT your problem.
Many reasons you feel obligated to be rushed is. You have not –
- Established a proper relationship
- Established boundaries
- Identified Key Performance Indicators
- Added up the cost on your end
When you rush to make decisions or rush to do a job, you don’t give it your best. When you don’t do your best, it affects you. So slow down. Make sure you are positioning yourself to show up as the best version of you. Your time and energy are YOUR priority. Remember all money ain’t good money and all connections will not result in a relationship. Decide how you want to proceed and set the pace for how you want it to work. When you move at your own pace, a better version of you will show up. Never allow the procrastination of someone else to become an emergency in your life.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Jun 12, 2023 | Growth
Let me say, entrepreneurship is NOT for everyone! Many people that start a business are looking to make quick money, free up their time, trying to solve a problem. If you have started or are thinking about starting a business, I hope you are doing it because you want to solve a problem. Because the other two are myths!
But this post is NOT about starting a business. It’s about being the BOSS – being the boss of your own life. Remember your life is a business; but until you start showing up in your own life as a BOSS, you will continue to live like an employee in it.
Showing up like an employee will have you constantly looking for opportunities to advance someone else’s agenda instead of your own. You will do things based off what others want from you instead of what you need. You will never see what you do as enough because you are comparing it to what someone else has posted on social media. You will not be able to answer the hard questions about why you are doing what you are doing.
However, as a BOSS, you decide what gets your attention, what you invest your time in, how you spend your day. You do the things you enjoy instead of the things you have to do. You know why you are doing the things you do and enjoy doing them. Sounds sweet, huh?
Are you living like a boss or are you living like an employee? If your to do list has more things on it that helps move others forward while you sit in the same spot, you are living like an employee. If your calendar is filled with tasks that someone else could do, you are living like an employee. If you dread waking up because of all the things needing your attention, you are living like an employee. And it’s time to stop.
One of the first things I do when I start working with a client is have them complete a time audit. I need to know how much time is available for their goals. I don’t want to assume they have 5 hours a week to work on their goals, if in essence they only have two. I don’t want to assume they understand the importance of putting themselves on their own to do list. I don’t want to assume they can schedule time to work on the goals we have set up for them. I don’t want to assume anything; I want to see it on paper.
So, I ask you, how did you show up last week? Did you put yourself on your to do list? Did you schedule some self-care last week? Going to get a pedicure is not self-care; that’s maintenance. But I digress. Did you accomplish your weekly goals or did the wants of others monopolize your time?
Outside of knowing how they are using their time; I’ve found most of my clients don’t accept accountability well. And before you jump in your feelings, let me explain. We all are accountable to something. Most of the time it’s the consequences of our choices – I retract that statement WE ARE ACCOUNTABLE TO THE CONSEQUENCES OF OUR CHOICES. You can listen to my latest podcast episode for more information on that.
When you live your life like a business and show up as a boss, you make decisions differently. You will ask yourself the hard questions, prior to committing to anything. You may ask questions like: Why am I doing this? How will this serve me? How much of me am I willing to devote to this? How much time do I have to devote to this and is there a return on my investment if I do this? Is this going to get me closer to my goals? Am I doing this because I want to or because I feel obligated? We will talk more about showing up as a boss on the next BOSSUP Podcast episode. Make sure you tune it. But for now, I just need you to ask yourself: Am I showing up as a boss or an employee? Am I willing to accept accountability for my choices? Am I making the best choices for me? No one can answer these questions for you, but I will say this if you are feeling overwhelmed or unfulfilled in your life, you probably have employee written on your shirt instead of BOSS.
If you want more of my opinionated ideas about being the CEO of your own life, subscribe to the BOSSUP Podcast where I new episodes every week. Chat soon!
Until then,
