Everyone wants to be HAPPY! But what does that really mean? For the longest time, I thought if everyone around me was happy, I would be happy! Girl, that turned out to be the biggest lie of my life – well at least one of them!

Truth is just because you are happy, does NOT guarantee I will be happy. Ad just because I’m happy does NOT guarantee your happiness. We are each totally responsible for our own happiness.

When we look for someone else to make us happy, it allows them and opportunity to make us UNHAPPY! Well my happiness is NON-NEGOTIABLE!!! I hope yours is as well.
But what can you do to assist with your own happiness? Let’s look at some things I did to turn my frown into a smile!

1. Let Go of PERFECTION– What the heck is perfection, anyway? We will never be perfect in an imperfect world! There will always be someone we “think” is better than us or have more than we have. This society is in a constant state of comparison. But comparison is the thief of joy! Every time we compare ourselves to someone else we rob ourselves of a chance to be the best version of ourselves! No one is perfect! That girl you think has the perfect body is starving herself to live up to that expectation. That marriage you think is #relationshipgoals, well they fight every night and sleep in separate beds. That 7-fgure CEO cries herself to sleep at night because she wants a family but have devoted her entire life to work. Let go of what you think is perfect! There is NO perfection!

2. Learn to Say NO – The best sentence I ever read was “NO is a complete sentence”! When was the last time you said no and didn’t bother giving an explanation? I bet you haven’t! I bet before you said it, you played the scenario of how things would unfold and talked yourself out of it! You were so worried about what people would say! How they would respond! Whether they would like you or not! Whether they would get mad. But at what cost? Every time you say YES to someone you are saying NO to yourself which means when you say NO to something you don’t want to do, you are saying YES to yourself!

3. Be Intentional – Although very similar to number 2 but it bears repeating. Many times, we are unhappy because we are NOT doing the things we love. Doing what we love tends to promote happy vibes! I had to learn I don’t like small talk! When I’m around people talking about “the weather” it makes me sad. But give me a philosophical topic and I light up like a Christmas tree. Once I made that determination, it was clear hosting events centered around meet and greets were NOT for me. So, I stopped doing them!

4. Hang Around Positive People – This was hard for me to identify! Can you imagine? It took me a minute to realize when I engaged negative people I picked up on their energy and carried it around with me. (Pitfall of being an empath) I also believe it was hard to recognize because I was a people pleaser and wanted to make others happy. When I stopped allowing people to dump all their negative energy on me, my mood changed!

5. Just BE! – Be present! Be in the now – yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not promised. You CANNOT live your life on what was nor on what might happen! When we constantly think about the future or the past, we rob ourselves of the NOW! Our happiness is in the NOW! If we base happiness on “when” something happens, we will develop a habit of trying to be happy instead of “being” happy. There is NO way to try to do something either do it or don’t!

We cannot guarantee everyday will be a “happy” day, but we can guarantee and promise to make the best out of it! We can set an intention to find something to be happy about. We can stay true to our NO and cherish our YES. We can make sure the things we do are with positive people and are doing things we enjoy. We can also stay present and not get distracted by things out of our control. So, the next time you find yourself struggling to be happy, ask yourself “Am I negotiating my happiness? And what is it costing me?”

Until Next Time,