by Coach Tina | Mar 28, 2016 | Encouragement, Focus, Growth
You ever had those days where it seems you just can’t hear from God. You’ve prayed, you’ve fasted and then prayed some more. But nothing…. You want to say “Hey, is this mic on?”
Let me help you, my dear, God heard you! He heard you the first time, he heard you the second time and he heard you this time. And in most instances, He has given you the answer you just didn’t want to accept that answer. It wasn’t what you wanted to hear. You wanted something like “it’s not your fault” or “I’ll handle it” or “it’s on the way”. But what He said was “you ain’t ready for that” or “now is not the time” or “you need to stop doing that first”.
Listen so many of us have this image of God in His long, white robe, smiling, passing out blessings. We go to Him with our hands outstretched expecting an immediate answer to the problem we have been holding on to for years. I have a question. Why didn’t you go to God before it became a problem? Why didn’t you ask His thoughts when it was just a thought in your mind? I’ll tell you… because it was what you wanted to do. It felt right. It felt good.
You see that’s the problem with sin. Sin keeps you trapped by making you feel good. If it didn’t feel good, who would want to do it? If it wasn’t appealing, who would stay in it? I’ve never known a person to remain in any situation that wasn’t offering some type of benefit. But don’t you realize every benefit is not a good benefit.
Okay, I’m off my soapbox but let’s be real, we have to put in some work to get what we want in this life. The bible says “I come that you may have life more abundantly”.(John 10:10) Okay, let’s break that down. But first let’s go back to the beginning of the verse – The enemy comes but to steal, kill and destroy. The enemy’s plan is to strip you of your hopes, of your dreams, of your desires. He wants to leave you with nothing. And he will use anyone willing to help in his scheme.
But God says oh no, I come that you may have life more abundantly. God is saying the life you desire, I want more than that for you. I want the best for you. I want you to have more than you can hope for. More than you can dream possible. More than you could ever desire. He says you see I knew you when you was in your mother’s womb. I have plans for you!!!
Now what that abundant life looks like to me may be different than what it looks like to you. And I guarantee what it looks like to us is different than it looks to God. You see God has a plan for you. And anything you place in your life that will hinder you from accomplishing that goal will not be comfortable and will not lead you to the abundance you desire. So when you go to God asking for something and you don’t get the answer you desire… ask yourself “is this request helping me with the plan God has for my life or will it be a distraction?” If you are continuously praying for something and feel you haven’t received an answer, maybe you need to accept He may be waiting for you to line up with His plan.
God is faithful and loving AND He really wants to bless you. But you have to position yourself to receive the blessings. Don’t ask God for that man that belongs to someone else. Don’t ask God to clear up your debt when you are constantly purchasing unnecessary things. Don’t ask God for a new job when you don’t go to the one you have on time. Don’t ask God for a new car when you don’t take care of the one you have. But more importantly, God isn’t concerned with your stuff. Stuff will come and go. I guarantee anyone that has left this earth could care less about the ‘stuff’ they left. God is concerned with your soul and what you are doing to be a witness of Him to those He place in your path. All of us may never enter a pulpit – some will never even go into a church. But the life you live before those in your circle will be a testimony of what God is doing in your life. Your life can be an example of the abundance the bible talks about. The way you love unconditionally. The way you help those that can’t help themselves. The way you forgive. The way you smile just because there is peace and joy on the inside. You see that is the abundant life that He has for you – peace and joy! Not stuff!
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Mar 25, 2016 | Encouragement, Growth
Today is…
To some it merely means a day off work. To some it means an extra day to go shopping and prepare for Easter Sunday. But for those that understand what happened on that Friday, this is a bitter-sweet day.
On this day, they put nails in my savior’s wrists and feet then hung Him on a cross. On this day, they insulted Him and beat Him. On this day, they gave Him vinegar to quench His thirst. On this day, He bowed His head and died. On this day, they placed His body in a tomb. On this day, God had to do what He promised never to do again, He turned His head away. But then it was this day, the Jesus recognized I would need help so He sacrificed His life to save mine. It was on this day, the enemy lost all power over the lives of God’s people. It was this day that allowed us all an opportunity to see God one day. It was Him giving up His life so that I can have an abundant life. So on one hand my heart is sad but on the other I’m forever grateful.
We talk a lot about a “sacrificial praise”. We even sing the song “Sacrifice of Praise”. Many of us will go to church today, tomorrow or Sunday and wave our hands, lift our voices all in the name of offering a sacrifice of praise. But the ultimate sacrifice of praise God desires is your soul. Not just the words, not the little cute post on social media, not just the outward expression or what you think people will see, He wants it ALL. He desires when someone has mistreated you, you can forgive. He desires when you have little, you can share. He desires when you are talked about, you can pray instead of retaliating. He desires when you don’t feel like it, you can do the right thing. He wants all of you. He wants the best of you. Not just the parts you want to give, He wants the part you think you are hiding. The lying, the stealing, the lust, the smoking, the cursing, the drinking – ALL OF IT!
We are all excited about Easter Sunday or Resurrection Sunday. We will walk into the church with our Sunday best. We may even drop a tear as the preacher reminds us of what took place during this season. But what about Monday, will you take the time to truly give thanks for the sacrifice of life that was made for you. Remember God sent His ONLY son… Jesus left the comforts of heaven…all so that we would not have to die for our own sins.
So instead of focusing on what pair of shoes will go with that dress, how you want your hair done, what color the family will wear this year, or complaining about how early you will have to get up in order to arrive at church to get a seat, how about asking yourself “what is God asking me to give up” or a better question “what am I willing to give up”?
Wishing you all a Happy Easter and a Reflecting Resurrection Sunday.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Mar 18, 2016 | Encouragement
Who remembers the cassette tape? I remember sitting up until the wee hours of the night making the perfect mixed tape. As a matter of fact I still have some in my attic (I wonder will they work). The one thing I would hate was when the tape player would get stuck and cause the tape to spin around the rollers and unravel. I would spend hours trying to get it out of the player, making sure it didn’t break and even longer winding the tape back up. The things you could do with a pencil and some “time”. 
Life was simple then.
Do you remember the big fall out you had with your best friend? You were so mad. You vowed to never speak to her again. Yet by the end of the day, you had settled the issue and moved on. All was forgiven and you were laughing like nothing ever happened. Life was simple then.
Do you remember when you weren’t allowed to hang around the house (running up the light bill)? It was easy to get a game of kickball or stickball going on any given day. When you couldn’t find a ball, you found other entertainment like jack rocks or hop scotch. You took time to walk and meet your friends instead of texting them on the phone or sending messages on Facebook. Life was simple then.
Some where we lost the simplicity of life and replaced it with stress and chaos. We got caught up in the gloom and doom of it all. We tend to get caught up in stuff instead of relationships. We take for granted that a smile can change a person’s day. We depend on others to make us happy when all we have to do is look around and be grateful for what we see.
True happiness will never be found in other people. As soon as they do something that you don’t like (and they will) there goes your happiness. Many times we find ourselves doing things to make others happy. Let me help you—you can’t MAKE anyone happy. If you are honest with yourself, when you strive to make others happy you end up losing sight of who you are and what makes you happy. So just focus on the one person you can control — YOURSELF!!
Bring the simplicity back. Take the time to listen to music. Go on a stroll through the park. Call a friend. Learn to play again. Smile for no reason. Laugh as loud as you can. Make a decision to not worry about anything for at least an hour. Breath deep. Watch the clouds. Just be free.
I don’t know about you but I’m ready to make life simple again. What signifies simplicity in your life? Take a moment and rest in it. I promise the problems that you lay down for that moment will be right there waiting for you when you are ready to pick them back up. But for now just make it simple…
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Feb 19, 2016 | Encouragement, Forgiveness, Growth
Ever had those moments where you ask “what good can come out of this”? We’ve all heard the scripture “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
But what good can truly come of lying, stealing, murder, cheating, adultery, anger, mistreating children, etc.? What purpose can be created from things like that?
It’s hard to see the good in a situation when you are experiencing it. But remember it is a promise of God. He promised to work things out for us as we love Him and live for Him. As we focus on things that are good and pure (Philippians 4:8), goodness is coming our way.
When I was sexually assaulted, I could see no good in that. When my father died; when I struggled with low self-esteem; when my marriage began to fall apart; when my blood pressure elevated and I was on the verge of having a stroke, nope – no good in any of those situations. But God has used each of those circumstances and allowed me to speak to women in the exact same situation and be a witness that she will come through, if she stays focused. He will work it together for good, if you give Him the opportunity.
You must be intentional!
You must intentionally give Him an opportunity. John Kornfield says it best “intentions lead to behaviors which lead to habits which lead to person
al development which lead to destiny”. You will never make it to your destiny living haphazardly. You will never make it to your destiny holding on to hurt, anger, or pain. These things will keep you stuck in your current situation. They will hinder you from living the purpose God has for you.
Now don’t get it twisted, I have my days where the things I want to forget are so vibrant and in the forefront, that it takes everything in my power to push them aside. But it’s then that I have to make it intentional!! It is then I have to make it deliberate. It has to be done on purpose. It can only be done with God’s help.
Those people that hurt you, you have to intentionally love them. The ones that talked about you, intentionally speak life to them. The ones that told lies on you, intentionally pray for them. For as you deliberately do the right thing, it becomes a behavior to you. As your Godly behaviors develop, they become habits. Your habits will help develop you into the person you were destined to be.
Those things that are the hardest to forgive, are the things God requires that you intentionally give over to Him. He gave us permission to “cast all our cares on Him”. Yet we continue to walk around angry, hard-hearted, and broken. God is ready and able to lighten the load and to mend the hurt.
You cannot do anything to change the past, all you can do is live forward and live an unapologetically good life. A purpose filled life. A life destined for greatness. A life made of intentions.
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Feb 10, 2016 | Encouragement, Growth
The other day I stopped by the gas station to fill up my tank. As one of those people that despise inconveniences; someone who is extremely bothered when things don’t go “smooth”; and someone who hates not being in control of her surroundings (sshh – it’s one of the behaviors I’ve asked God to help me with), I imagine running out of gas would totally aggravate me. Therefore, I’m very adamant about making sure I have gas in my car.
Setting aside my OCD behaviors, I would say my actions can be further contributed to my upbringing and being told to never allow the car to go under a quarter of a tank of gas because trash would get in the engine. And we all know that trash in the engine will keep the car from running properly and ultimately cause unrepairable damages or even cause the engine to blow up. (at least that’s my interpretation)
The funny thing is, as careful as I am about making sure my car has what it needs to perform at peak performance, I’m not always as particular about doing what has to be done to assure that I’m running at my peak performance at all the times. I’m doing better though.
Just last week, I noticed my energy level was down, I was struggling with adhering to my normal routine. I found myself physically unable to function. I was bed-ridden for three days. I had the intention of getting things done but was unable to accomplish anything. Every time I tried to be active, I physically felt bad. It seemed regardless how hard I pushed, I just couldn’t get it together. Have you ever felt like that? You couldn’t put your finger on it but you just didn’t feel like yourself!!
I had to stop and think—what’s wrong with me? It was then, I realized I was “running on empty”? I couldn’t remember the last time I had truly showed myself self-care. I had been tending to the needs of everyone except myself. I had allowed my tank to not only go pass the quarter level, I was in the RED!! and trash was starting gather in my engine.
WHAT DOES THE TRASH LOOK LIKE?
- Negativity
- Laziness
- Indecisiveness
- Moodiness
- Unproductive
- Bitter
- Grouchiness
- Physically Sick
- Lethargic
- Depression
- Anger
- Frustration
I could go on… but you get the picture. I was stressed. I was unhappy. I was unpleasant. I was quiet. I was exclusive. I was withdrawn. I was consumed with the trash that was taking over my life. I had to get to the gas station and refuel quickly.
HOW TO REFUEL?
Reconnect with yourself. You know when things aren’t right. Are you tired? Are you lonely? Are you frustrated? Are you depressed? Are you burnt out and just need to rest? Are you putting the needs of others before your own? Take time to assess how you are feeling and why you may be feeling that way.
Make some adjustments. After you’ve identified the problem or problems, make some changes. You do not have to be superwoman to everyone. If you’re not good to your body, your body will not be good to you. Sometimes you just need to take a moment and just relax. It’s okay to put yourself first sometimes.
Find some motivation. I am rejuvenated by music and writing. So when I’m down, I pump up the music and dance around or grab a journal and write. I may write about what I’m feeling. I may write about the song playing. I just write. You have to find that thing that motivates (refuel) you.
Just like with your car, running on empty can cause some unrepairable damages. Learn to identify when things just aren’t “right” with you. Give yourself permission to take time to show self-care. Give yourself permission to love on yourself unapologetically. You are no good to anyone if you are not performing at your best. I encourage you, if you are “running on empty” get to the closest gas station and refuel. You deserve it!!
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Feb 4, 2016 | Encouragement
Have you ever been so discouraged that you wanted to give up? Just throw in the towel? You try over and over again and nothing seems to work. You do your best but your best just don’t seem good enough. Your “MO” has asked your “JO” for a divorce. Your prayers seem to only reach the ceiling and you are just plain tired. Okay, you get picture! Discouragement sets in and you “feel” defeated.
Discouragement has been defined as feeling the loss of confidence (trust in something or someone) and a loss of enthusiasm (passion or interest).
If we go by that definition, discourage
ment sets in when we put confidence in man. The Bible tells us it is better to put trust in God than to put confidence in man (Psalms 118:8). Discouragement sets in when we lose sight of our purpose. Well, Philippians 4:8 reminds us to place our thoughts (passions/interest) on things that are lovely, pure, honest, etc. What’s my point?
When you find yourself feeling discouraged, because remember discouragement is a feeling not a reality; stop and ask yourself where is my focus? Am I focusing on God? Am I focusing on my purpose? Am I focusing on my assignment? Or am I focusing on people? Am I focused on the naysayers? Am focusing on what others have? Grab hold to your thoughts then make a decision to change your focus. Changing your focus will ultimately change the way you feel. I know that sounds so cliché. But you MUST take control your thoughts and your feelings or they will take control of you.
The enemy uses our thoughts to discourage and distract us. He knows if he can get us to either give up on our dreams or lose focus of our dreams, people will not receive the help they need. He knows our own blessings will be hindered. He knows God’s love will not be shown. He knows the purpose on our lives will fade. He also knows if he fails in his attempt to discourage us, he loses!!!
Discouragement is an attack on who you are. Discouragement is an attack on your dreams. Discouragement is an attack on your faith. Discouragement is an attack on your mind. The only thing I know when I’m under attack is to FIGHT!
- Fight the attack of who you are by reminding yourself of who God says you are.
- Fight the attack on your dreams by reminding yourself of WHY you want them.
- Fight the attack of your faith by reminding yourself of God’s faithfulness. He will never leave or forsake you.
- Fight the attack on your mind by surrounding yourself with positive people.
So when discouragement attacks you— FIGHT! Fight with everything you have. Fight like your life depended on it. Because if you are honest with yourself – it does. Many of people have taken their life because they became discouraged. But I declare over everyone reading this that giving up is not an option and you will be victorious! You will fight! You will win! For greater is He that dwells in you than he that is in this world.
Until Next Time,
Tina
