by Coach Tina | Jan 28, 2016 | Encouragement, Growth
Have you ever felt you were being taken advantage of or unappreciated? If you live in this world, you have felt that way at least once in your life. Because I am a glass half full type of person, I will say it wasn’t intentional or deliberate. Most people don’t know how to show appreciation and others have never been appreciated so they struggle with offering it. Either way, feeling unappreciated hurts!!
However, when you don’t appreciate yourself, that’s worse. If you’ve been following my blog or are friends with me on Facebook, you know I struggled for years with low self-esteem and identity issues. It took me years to see my needs as important and even longer to figure out that I deserved for my needs to be met.
I understand putting the desires of everyone else first because you don’t want to be considered selfish. I understand not dreaming in fear of the dreams not coming true. I understand not setting personal goals because there were so many “more important” things needed to be done. I understand feeling guilty about wanting something just for yourself. I understand when the negative thoughts in your head are so loud that you can’t concentrate. I understand doing everything possible to make every one else happy. I understand refusing to think someone else could possibly understand these feelings. If you can relate to any of this… rest assured I do understand and you are not alone.
It wasn’t until I learned to value myself and my dreams that I was able to push those feelings away. It was becoming my own cheerleader that allowed what other people said to fade into the background. It was treating myself with respect and honor that forced me to demand it from others. It was deciding that my dreams and goals were important that I began to pursue them.
You see when I learned my true value I stopped negotiating with people. I stopped letting them determine what was important to me. I realized my happiness and my sanity were non-negotiable. No longer will I allow anyone to steal my joy or keep me tied to a life feeling unappreciated. But first I had to learn my true value.
How do you determine your own value?
The same way you would determine the value of anything valuable in your life. Value is given by the one who created it. Your creator is God. He made you and He deemed you valuable. His Word says you are more valuable than rubies (Proverbs 31:10). You were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-16). You are His prized possession (James 1:18). You see He set a high value on you. You don’t have to walk around trying to figure it out – it’s already been set!!
When you go into a jewelry store to purchase a ring, you don’t negotiate or haggle the price. You pay what is on the tag or you look for something else. So, why do you negotiate your value with people who cannot see your worth?
Let’s stay there for a minute. Most people who try to negotiate a set price, do so because they don’t know the true value of the merchandise. If someone is haggling you or putting you in a position where you feel you have to negotiate on what’s important to you, more than likely they don’t see your true value and this needs to be addressed. And it’s up to you to do so.
When you walk around with your head down. When you do
n’t respect yourself or demand respect. When you settle for relationships that don’t encourage or motivate you to be better. When you allow disrespectful actions—- It’s clear that you don’t know your own value.
The value of your life and time has been determined. The only one that can negotiate or discount your value is you. If a person don’t treat you with respect, honor your presence, or appreciate who you are, you may need to look at the price you have placed on your time because at some point you discounted your value and are offering it at a price that was never given by the creator.
If you find yourself being treated in a way that challenges your set value or you would like help determining your value and/or how to present it, please set up a session with me. Not knowing your value affects your personal relationships but it also keeps you from achieving your goals which ultimately prevents from being the BEST YOU!! And that, my friend, is UNACCEPTABLE and NON-NEGOTIABLE to me!!
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Jan 21, 2016 | Encouragement
Do you remember back in the day when you had to send film off to be developed? You would place the film in a self-addressed envelope and ship it off. After a few days you would receive your pictures and the negatives in case you needed reprints. Well, today we have advanced and we don’t have to ship the film off. We either print them ourselves or send them electronically to the store and have prints made. We are so advanced!!!
Sadly that’s how we want our lives to be. We do the bare minimum and expect miraculous things to happen. Well, my
dear that is not the way it works!!! In order to get the colorful, beautiful image you desire, you have to deal with the negatives!
You have to deal with the negative people, the negative thoughts, and the negative results. Yes, you have to deal with some negatives. The thing is how you deal with them. Do you let them discourage you from accomplishing your goals? Do you give up hope because of them? Do you get distracted by them? Do you allow them to destroy the image that you dreamed? Do you focus so much attention on the negatives that you lose sight of the picture?
You worked hard to set the picture up just the way you wanted it. You chose the perfect location. You chose the perfect background. You chose the perfect outfit. Your smile was radiant. Your make-up was flawless. You put in the work required to make this the best day and it begins to rain. A NEGATIVE!! You have a choice, you can cancel the photoshoot or you can dance in the rain! Me… I would probably dance in the rain.
My point is instead of focusing on the darkness of negatives, hold that baby up to the light and expose the lies of the enemy. When you become frustrated with life, hold your life up to the light! The light is God! Ask Him for direction. Ask Him for instruction. Ask Him to make the path clearer. You are called to greatness and the enemy has a desire to keep you from answering that call. But you are greater than he is. You are more powerful than he is. You have the ability to do anything you set your mind to.
Regardless how old a negative is, if you have taken proper care of it, it can always reproduce the original photo. So they called you names. So they lied on you. So they mistreated you. So what!!! You are a child of the King. You are made in His image. You are victorious. You are a miracle in itself. You are awesome. Let them talk. Hold that negative up to the light and expose the true image. Reproduce the original image because that’s what the world needs to see. You have an assignment don’t let the darkness of the negative keep you from it.
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Jan 14, 2016 | Encouragement
Why are you really giving up? Why are you willing to give up? Do you still believe in what you’re fighting for? Does it still hold the same value? Is it worth it to you?
So many times we give up because we are tired. Sometimes we give up because we feel it’s a fight we could never win. Some times we give up because someone told us we couldn’t win the fight. Now “that” is unacceptable. Don’t allow someone to determine what you should fight for!
Now sometimes, we give up because we don’t believe in what we were fighting for any more. The things we once would have died for, now we don’t blink our eyes at or give a second thought. They just don’t serve us the same way. Guess what? It’s okay!!
Each day we grow and as we grow, our values change. The things we value changes. We begin to see things from a different perspective. We learn to choose which “battles” we are willing to fight. We realize things just aren’t as important as they once were.
No longer am I overly concerned with having a “model’s body”. Now, I just want to be healthy and not have aches or pains.
No longer am I concerned if the towels are folded correctly. Now, I’m just happy if we have clean towels.
It no longer sends me in to an anxiety attack when everything isn’t in the right place. Now, I’m just grateful for the things I have and they are in good working condition.
I no longer hold onto stuff in fear that one day I will need it. If I haven’t used it in the last twelve months, I’m probably not going to use it later. So out the door it goes.
You see stuff just don’t mean the same to me anymore. I’m more moved by making a difference in someone’s life. I’m more excited about seeing a woman realize her self-worth. When a person grabs hold to their purpose and develop a plan of action, it makes me want to dance.
The fight to be accepted by people, is no longer an interest me. The fight to be right? Nope, I will not debate with you about my beliefs. What’s better? It’s all up to the person and what they believe. You see I choose my battles. I fight with everything I got but you better believe it has to be for a good cause. Not just because the next person is fighting.
So if you are giving up because you realize the fight just is not important enough to occupy your time. Or if you are giving in because you have something better to fight for. Then by all means throw in the towel, strap up and fight for what really matters to you. But if you are giving in because you feel defeated and don’t feel you can win. Stop in your tracks!!
It is the enemy’s job to make you feel inadequate. It’s his job to make you doubt your abilities. He gets excited when your desires become more of a burden than a goal.
But the Bible says
- God came that you might have life and life more abundantly!
- You can do ALL things through Christ that strengthen you!
- You are more than a conqueror!
- You are victorious! You are as winner!
The world says
- A quitter never wins and a winner never quits.
- If you can dream it, you can achieve it.
- Small steps equates to large movements.
- Opportunities are always available if you seek them.
So regardless of what method of “reality” you use, choose your battles based on your own desires and beliefs but don’t you dare quit because you feel you can not win. Don’t you dare quit because it seems hard. Don’t you dare throw in the towel because someone told you, you could not achieve it! Don’t you dare! You are a winner and I believe in you and your VICTORY!!!
Until Next Time,
Tina
n’t respect yourself or demand respect. When you settle for relationships that don’t encourage or motivate you to be better. When you allow disrespectful actions—- It’s clear that you don’t know your own value.
