Disclaimer: Many of you have heard my take on the Law of Attraction. If not, simply I believe in parts of the Law of Attraction, however, I don’t believe the “universe” manifest what occurs in your life. I believe your faith in God and His promises manifest life occurrences. Other than that, the Law of Attraction has proven to be very fundamental in my life and those I work with.
I usually begin working on my vision board around the end of November beginning of December in preparation for the classes I offer during the first quarter of the year. This year has been no different. Last week I took my current vision board off my wall and examined it. I went over each aspect as to identify what worked and what didn’t. What was accomplished and what wasn’t. What manifested from what I placed on my board in comparison to what actually happened.
If you follow me on social media, you know that I am a glass half full type of person and I strive to pour into people daily. I will be the first to admit there were some rough bumps in the road this year. Let’s be real there were some large man holes and I fell into some them. Although I wrote about them, I didn’t always make them public. The writings were to help me see areas in my life where I needed to surrender my will to God and move forward. You will find links thoughout this blog where you can take a glance at some of them. I’ve learned that through my transparency, not only was I able to heal but was able to help others seek healing as well. So, I don’t share them to receive sympathy or even empathy, I share them to help others see they are not alone in their struggles.
This year I was attacked in practically every area of my life. My health was challenged. My parenting was challenged. My morals and values were challenged. My marriage was challenged. My self-worth and the way I viewed myself was challenged. My insecurities were challenged. My spirituality was challenged. My purpose was challenged. My deliverance was challenged.
I remember asking God, “why was all of this happening?” It seemed to all occur one after another. I didn’t feel under spiritual attack, this felt personal “real personal” and I was NOT winning. I wanted to give up and throw in the towel. I was through!!! But over the last few days, I’ve come to understand, it wasn’t about me at all. The things I was going through was to teach me how to overcome obstacles so I could help others persevere.
Now back to the purpose of this blog. As I mentioned each year I create a vision board and choose a focus word to center my board around. This year was no different. I prayed hard to come up with the perfect word and once I had it, excitement flowed over me. The year before my word was PURPOSE and I was able to define my purpose. This year I would strive to master my purpose and “work my purpose”. So, what better word for this year than PERSEVERE!!! Persevere means to continue in a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little or no prospect of success.
After taking a hard look at my board, I sat in the middle of the floor and cried. I finally understood. I finally got it! The hurdles I faced this year were not to destroy me, they were to strengthen me. They were to build me. They were to strengthen my purpose and my belief in my purpose. They were to equip me with the tools I needed to help others. They were to push me. They were to grow me. They were to build a deeper relationship with God and to learn to trust Him and the process He was taking me through.
It was during my mother’s hospitalization that I learned I’m not superwoman and I don’t have to be. It was during the recovery of TWO surgeries that I learned selfcare is important (read about it here). It was my own choices that left me feeling defeated spiritually. God had not forsaken me as I had thought (read about it here). It was His love that keep me afloat and able to get through what seemed like one of my darkest moments and I had many this year. But God brought me through.
It was hard but looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing. I learned some valuable lessons. I learn to trust myself again. I learn to trust God again. I learned to be patient with myself and those around me. You see, creating a vision board is not just putting pictures or words on a large board. It’s providing a place for you to show God you are willing to make the steps as He directs your path.
I’ve heard from many that this was a tough year. If you are one of those, I encourage you to look at it from a different perspective. What did you learn this year? Did you grow? Did you move into a deeper understanding of who you are and what your true desires are? Did it make you rethink the way you “play” life? If you answered yes to any of those questions, then you, my dear, did not have a tough year; you had a year of growth that pushed you to the next level. And above all – you made it!!! You made it to the end. Now what are you going to do with the knowledge you’ve earned?
With so many people offering vision board parties, I decided to do something different this year. This year I am encouraging you to “Host Your Own Vision Board Party”. I will be there to facilitate it. It will be just as strong if not stronger than any of the parties I’ve hosted in the past. But here is the thing… you will invite your friends, your women’s group, your peers, your colleagues – YOU CHOOSE WHO COMES. You choose the location. You choose the atmosphere. This is your event – I’m just here to make sure you leave with a vision for 2017!!!! This makes for a more intimate party and also provides you with accountability partners should you need the extra push throughout the year. Here is the link to see what dates are still available. I also encourage you to reach out to me as the dates are filling up fast. Click here to schedule your event.
If you are ready to allow God to grow you and push you to the next level, make a vision board. God has something miraculous in store for you. Allow Him push you forward and create an even better version of you. I’m here to help guide you to becoming the best version of yourself when you’re ready to do the work.
(This post can be a trigger for those battling abuse- know you are not alone)
I thought if I loved harder, if I gave more, if I was quiet then maybe just maybe the pain of betrayal would subside and I would be loved by the one person I wanted love from the most.
Well, the pain did not subside. In fact, it grew. Before I knew it, it had become something I could no longer contain or control. It began to leak outside of me. It began to spill on every aspect of my life. It became the catalyst for everything I did or didn’t do. It became the curriculum of how I interacted with others. I began to teach people that I didn’t matter, that my feelings didn’t matter, that my existence didn’t matter. The pain became a part of my identity. I felt like a piece of property. I had become something to do. I had become a part of an image. I had become something easily discarded once something better came along. Sadly, I began to view myself as “just something”.
Something that was lost….
I had lost my self-respect. How can you respect yourself when no one else does?
I had lost my pride. My existence was in making others proud and that wasn’t happening.
I had lost my desire for better. The pain had become embedded in me and was all I could feel.
I had lost my scruples. What once seemed right was turning wrong and what seemed wrong was made to feel right.
But then it happened. The lights began to blink. The page turned. I could hear the sounds of reality. I could feel the sting of the pain. I could breathe the stench of anger. Wait! I wasn’t breathing, in fact, there were hands wrapped around my throat and someone was yelling in my face. The blinking lights was me going in and out of consciousness. The pages turning was my inner self realizing this could be the end. The sounds of reality was my kids yelling – asking if I was okay. It was their screams that snapped me into reality. I knew I had to do something, if not for me for them.
Yet I remained a piece of property for many years after that; feeling I couldn’t do better. Feeling I didn’t deserve any better. Feeling this was the life I was destined to live.
Maybe I’ll just love harder. I’ll just give more. I’ll just sit quiet. I’ll overlook the affairs. It has to get better. It will get better. I heard the preacher say “speak things into existence”. I will speak harmony and peace into my home. I will speak love into my relationship. I will give respect and soon it will be offered to me. I will speak it – God will hear it and make it right.
Why is this taking so long? I know our time schedule is different than God’s but surely He sees how desperate I am. Surely, He sees that I’m hurting. I’ve heard all my life that “He cares about the least of them” surely, I must at least be a part of that group. Then why hasn’t he answered my prayers. Why hasn’t he come to see about me? Why hasn’t He made this pain stop? Maybe I don’t matter to Him. Maybe He don’t care about me….
But you see God did care about me. He was constantly giving me a way out of the situation, I decided to stay. Every prayer I prayed – He answered with a blessing on top of what I asked for. Yet I was so consumed with the needs of others, that I took the answered prayers as a way God wanted me to help them. I didn’t see that it was God giving an opportunity for harmony and peace into my home, in my own mind. I couldn’t see it was God allowing me to feel loved by Him and ultimately learn to love myself. I couldn’t see God was giving me the tools I needed to learn to respect myself and be a better version of myself. I couldn’t see because I was expecting it to look different. I was lost in my own expectations instead of the expectations of God and His desire for me as His daughter.
Don’t allow the pain to become louder than God’s voice. Cry out to Him. Ask Him for help. He will send it I promise. I cares more about you than you could even imagine. You are the apple of His eye. You are a beat in His heartbeat. Your concerns are major to Him. You see just like God heard my cry – He will hear yours and deliver you from it – if you allow Him to do so.
Intimate Partner Abuse (domestic violence) is real. There are women battling this war every day. Holding on to scraps in hope to one day be able to make a meal. Ladies, if you are in an abusive relationship. You don’t deserve to be mistreated. That is NOT love! Love does not hurt. Love does not hit. Love does not belittle. Love does not shame. Love does not control. You can take your life back. I know it seems hard, it was hard for me too. But I promise you it will be worth it. If you have a friend that is in an abusive relationship, be patient with them and be strong for them. You cannot force them to do anything they don’t want to do but you can show them how much you love them by being there when they ask for help.
Have you ever wanted something so bad that you were willing to do anything to get it? You sought help from others to get it. You prayed about it. You fasted about it. When that didn’t work you whined about it. Then you complained about not having it. You get the picture – you were willing to do whatever it took to get what you wanted.
Many of us are going through life like that – we want what we want and are willing to do whatever it takes to get it. But what if what you want is not what God wants for you?
The Bible says God will give you the desires of your heart(Psalms 37:4), so sometimes that’s even the things He would rather you not have.
You see there are these fraternal twins called Perfect Will and Permissive Will.
Perfect Will is perfect. He is the perfect image of everything you could possibly desire. He is wonderful. He can be a little hard sometimes but once you get over the hardness it is pure ecstasy. He displays the qualities of God at all times. He is full of compassion and lines up with the will of God always. It’s not always easy with Perfect Will but you are guaranteed to land where you were created to land. Perfect Will always walk according to the Bible and can back up what he talks about.
Permissive Will has it good points. He can be fun and alluring. Usually the life of the party and willing to change things to make sure you are having fun while in his presence. He can be very fickle and sometimes even temperamental. He has been known to be mild mannered and bull headed at the same time. Permissive Will can mirror God but don’t always have the character of God. Permissive Will can be tainted with the views of the world. He may show you to your destination but you may be too tired to enjoy it once you arrive.
Okay, I may have given some humor to it but hopefully you can see where I’m going with this. God gives us a perfect will but he also allows for a permissive will. You have a choice. You can do things the way He instructs you or you can do things the way you want to do them. He will not force you to follow His way but He will make it worth your effort to do so.
In Genesis 32:26, Jacob had toiled with the angel of God all night. He was desperate to get an answer from him. Are you willing to toil with God all night or until He blesses you? What if he told you what you wanted was not what he desires for you? What if he tells you to let go of some things you hold dear? What if he wants you to move to a place you have no desire to be in or move away from a place you are comfortable in? What if His perfect will for your life don’t look like what you thought it would look like?
God never told you it would be fair but he did tell you it would be worth it. He never said it would be easy but He promised to never leave you. He never said weapons would not form against you but he did say they would not prosper.
You have a choice you can follow the perfect will of God or you can follow the permissive will. You can receive the blessings of God the way He intended for you to receive them or you can received the watered down version because you aren’t ready for the real thing.
I’m holding on to the spirit of God until He blesses me with all His promises. I don’t have all the answers. I won’t do everything right. But thank God He is a God that offers grace and mercy to us all.
What will you follow today? Will you follow the perfect will of God or the permissive will of God? You may eventually get to the same place but will you be able to truly enjoy the blessings God has for you along the way.
It is good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. Psalms 119.71
There are many scriptures in the bible that say how we are overcome by different trials in our lives, how trials come to make us stronger, and even that moments of despair can be good for us. I will never go against the Word of God – the Word is the Word. However, let’s talk about this, no one likes pain or to be troubled. In fact, most of us will do whatever we have to do in order to avoid a painful or troubling situations. So when I came across this scripture, I asked some questions “how can afflictions (pain) be good?” And “why do I have to go through them to learn a decree (a law)?” I don’t know about you but I prefer to learn in peace and happiness. But facts don’t lie, some lessons can only be learned from afflictions. I am not an advocate for corporal punishment, but I will be the first to admit when my children were growing up I used “the rod of correction”. I’m sure at some point we all have used a chosen punishment as a form of discipline with our children.
Why, then, is it not appropriate for God to do the same with us? I love my children but God’s love is far greater than mine could ever be. So surely, He would do whatever He has to do to show us that love, even discipline.
We have all seen that child who regardless how many times we tell them not to do something, they test the water and try it anyway. There comes a time when you have to take “verbal command” further and provide discipline to assist with understanding your request. Are you that child? Has God told you to do something or not to do something and you did it anyway? Have you placed Him in a position where additional discipline is required?
I’ve said many times before, “what God has for you is for you” however, why do you expect God to continuously reward you when you aren’t obeying His commands? Now don’t get all uptight, God is not like man, He will provide you with your needs in spite of you. The bible says He provides rain on the just and the unjust. But just think what He provides for those who obey His commands and live according to His will. One of my favorite verses is Psalms 84:11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly. Another version says “no good thing will be withheld from those that walk with integrity. Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is looking. God wants you to have the best of the best BUT He wants you to live a life of integrity.
So I have found another “favorite” verse. Although, I don’t like afflictions – I can look at them as God’s way of teaching me, of loving me, of correcting me. I know those afflictions are striping away my own desires and helping find His. They are helping me grow into the person He desires me to be.
Have you ever heard the statement “the eyes are the window to the soul”? I would have to say it’s one of the most honest statements I’ve ever heard. It’s actually a scripture, who would thought? People walk around with smiles on their faces but if you look into their eyes you can see hurt and pain. You see a lack of trust. You see betrayal. You see dishonesty. If you ever want to know the soul of a person look into their eyes – THE EYES DON’T LIE.
Many of you think you know me. You’ve either read my book, attended a conference or workshop, you’ve been a part of a group I’ve sponsored, you’ve read my blogs (I do share a lot), or you figure you know me personally. But I hate to burst your bubble, you don’t know me. You know the parts of me that I allow you to know. You don’t know what keeps me up crying at night. You don’t know the struggles I have. You didn’t know that although I pray continuously, there are times when I feel God don’t hear me. You didn’t know that even though I am constantly encouraging others, that I have moments of depression (thank God for a strong support group).
I remember one day looking in the mirror and my eyes were shallow and dark. I thought things were okay. But again, THE EYES DON’T LIE. After sitting down and taking an inventory on my life, I had to be honest with myself…things were not okay. I had fallen back into old habits of trying to please everyone. Old habits of not taking care of myself. Old habits of trying to do everything. And my eyes told the story.
Have you ever taken a moment and really looked into your eyes. Sadly, many people can’t do it. I have had many clients when asked to look at themselves in the mirror would begin to cry and look away. Many of them saw failure, ugliness, defeat, a victim, hurt, pain, lack… What you see is what you see! But you have to look past it all and ask yourself “why do you see those things?” Was it something someone else said to you? Is it because of behaviors? Is it your past? Why do you see those things?
You were fearfully and wonderfully made. You were created in the image of God. You were designed with specific intent. God don’t see you as any of those things. He sees you as His child, as His creation, as His masterpiece, as the apple of His eye. If you are around people that make feel less than this, you are in the company of the wrong people and you need to change your environment.
Go to the mirror. What do you see? Do you see hope? Do you see joy? Do you see a future? Or do you see what others have labeled you? Do you see what others have called you? Do you even know who you are anymore? Transparent moment – I didn’t know who I was for a long time. I only saw myself as a daughter, a wife and a mother. But I am so much more than that.
There is a story in the bible where Jesus healed a blind man (Mark 8:22-26). Jesus spit in his eyes and then touched them but the man’s sight was distorted. Jesus touched him again and the man was able to see clearly. Now there is so much I could take from that passage and maybe one day I will but today I want you to focus on verse 25, then He put His hands on his eyes again and made him look up. And he was restored and saw everyone clearly. When you look in the mirror you are seeing what man sees. Look up, then look again. Ask God to help you see what He sees.
I completely understand how you can get caught up in everything you’re not but now is not the time. Now is the time to push forward and do the things God has assigned for you do. When the enemy comes against showing you all your flaws or inadequacies, stand up straight look him in eyes and say JESUS PAID IT ALL. God knew you were going to make mistakes. He knew you were going to have bad days. He knew all of it and that’s exactly why He called you. The world is not looking for a perfect person they are looking for a person who loves a PERFECT God and willing to spread His love.
I’ve always been a “fix-it” type person. So it’s not surprising that I would be in a business where my objective is to help people become the best version of themselves by living their purpose and releasing the strongholds of hurt and pain – you know “fixing stuff”.
It also is no surprise, for years I struggled with my own identity and purpose and still at times struggle with hurt and pain from my past. But I’ve learned to trust God’s plan and realize that He knows what’s best for me. Do that mean I don’t have questions? Far from it!! I have a lot of questions and I ask them. I don’t always like the answers but I ask the question and seek the answer.
You see I find it simple, even fun, to develop a plan of execution for others but don’t always follow the plan for myself. Maybe I’m too close to the situation or “know” too much about it to allow the required changes to take place. Or maybe it’s just stubbornness that keeps me wanting to return to the comfort of familiarity. Or my desire to control the situation in spite of knowing I don’t have any control over it. No doubt, it’s me and not always being willing to comply with the will of God.
You see I had completed the preliminaries. I had a basic plan of execution. I asked God to help me see the reality instead of focusing on the fairy tale. I asked Him to remove the hurt and pain from the past and replace it with love and affection. I even asked Him to separate the bad thoughts from the good thoughts and let me dwell only on the good thoughts. I remember asking Him to place forgiveness in my heart and shower me with selective memory of the things that caused me to have to forgive in the first place.
What I soon found was that God does not like to be given orders – even if you ask nicely. He really don’t need instruction on how to complete a good work within me. Ultimately, He doesn’t’ need instructions from an individual that has never seen the end result. God did and is doing what He wants to do in my life and equipping to me to accept it. It’s even safe to say that the requests I made were tweaked to prepare me for the assignment He has for me. As Fantasia would say “It was necessary”!!! (Have you heard that song? OMG listen here)
As the scripture says, we will never understand His wisdom, but we simply have to trust His plan (Psalms 37:5). God knows what’s best for you. He has a desire and a plan for you that was prepared before you even entered your mother’s womb. Think about it like this… a plan was decided in heaven and you were formed to execute it. So regardless what comes your way, God has a plan for you. He has instructions, clear instructions on what you are supposed to do. Also realize He’s preparing you now for what He has in store for you later. Trust the plan. Trust the wisdom. Trust God. We may never understand the why or even the how – but we can trust the WHO!!!
llenged. My purpose was challenged. My deliverance was challenged.
