by Coach Tina | Feb 19, 2016 | Encouragement, Forgiveness, Growth
Ever had those moments where you ask “what good can come out of this”? We’ve all heard the scripture “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
But what good can truly come of lying, stealing, murder, cheating, adultery, anger, mistreating children, etc.? What purpose can be created from things like that?
It’s hard to see the good in a situation when you are experiencing it. But remember it is a promise of God. He promised to work things out for us as we love Him and live for Him. As we focus on things that are good and pure (Philippians 4:8), goodness is coming our way.
When I was sexually assaulted, I could see no good in that. When my father died; when I struggled with low self-esteem; when my marriage began to fall apart; when my blood pressure elevated and I was on the verge of having a stroke, nope – no good in any of those situations. But God has used each of those circumstances and allowed me to speak to women in the exact same situation and be a witness that she will come through, if she stays focused. He will work it together for good, if you give Him the opportunity.
You must be intentional!
You must intentionally give Him an opportunity. John Kornfield says it best “intentions lead to behaviors which lead to habits which lead to person
al development which lead to destiny”. You will never make it to your destiny living haphazardly. You will never make it to your destiny holding on to hurt, anger, or pain. These things will keep you stuck in your current situation. They will hinder you from living the purpose God has for you.
Now don’t get it twisted, I have my days where the things I want to forget are so vibrant and in the forefront, that it takes everything in my power to push them aside. But it’s then that I have to make it intentional!! It is then I have to make it deliberate. It has to be done on purpose. It can only be done with God’s help.
Those people that hurt you, you have to intentionally love them. The ones that talked about you, intentionally speak life to them. The ones that told lies on you, intentionally pray for them. For as you deliberately do the right thing, it becomes a behavior to you. As your Godly behaviors develop, they become habits. Your habits will help develop you into the person you were destined to be.
Those things that are the hardest to forgive, are the things God requires that you intentionally give over to Him. He gave us permission to “cast all our cares on Him”. Yet we continue to walk around angry, hard-hearted, and broken. God is ready and able to lighten the load and to mend the hurt.
You cannot do anything to change the past, all you can do is live forward and live an unapologetically good life. A purpose filled life. A life destined for greatness. A life made of intentions.
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Feb 10, 2016 | Encouragement, Growth
The other day I stopped by the gas station to fill up my tank. As one of those people that despise inconveniences; someone who is extremely bothered when things don’t go “smooth”; and someone who hates not being in control of her surroundings (sshh – it’s one of the behaviors I’ve asked God to help me with), I imagine running out of gas would totally aggravate me. Therefore, I’m very adamant about making sure I have gas in my car.
Setting aside my OCD behaviors, I would say my actions can be further contributed to my upbringing and being told to never allow the car to go under a quarter of a tank of gas because trash would get in the engine. And we all know that trash in the engine will keep the car from running properly and ultimately cause unrepairable damages or even cause the engine to blow up. (at least that’s my interpretation)
The funny thing is, as careful as I am about making sure my car has what it needs to perform at peak performance, I’m not always as particular about doing what has to be done to assure that I’m running at my peak performance at all the times. I’m doing better though.
Just last week, I noticed my energy level was down, I was struggling with adhering to my normal routine. I found myself physically unable to function. I was bed-ridden for three days. I had the intention of getting things done but was unable to accomplish anything. Every time I tried to be active, I physically felt bad. It seemed regardless how hard I pushed, I just couldn’t get it together. Have you ever felt like that? You couldn’t put your finger on it but you just didn’t feel like yourself!!
I had to stop and think—what’s wrong with me? It was then, I realized I was “running on empty”? I couldn’t remember the last time I had truly showed myself self-care. I had been tending to the needs of everyone except myself. I had allowed my tank to not only go pass the quarter level, I was in the RED!! and trash was starting gather in my engine.
WHAT DOES THE TRASH LOOK LIKE?
- Negativity
- Laziness
- Indecisiveness
- Moodiness
- Unproductive
- Bitter
- Grouchiness
- Physically Sick
- Lethargic
- Depression
- Anger
- Frustration
I could go on… but you get the picture. I was stressed. I was unhappy. I was unpleasant. I was quiet. I was exclusive. I was withdrawn. I was consumed with the trash that was taking over my life. I had to get to the gas station and refuel quickly.
HOW TO REFUEL?
Reconnect with yourself. You know when things aren’t right. Are you tired? Are you lonely? Are you frustrated? Are you depressed? Are you burnt out and just need to rest? Are you putting the needs of others before your own? Take time to assess how you are feeling and why you may be feeling that way.
Make some adjustments. After you’ve identified the problem or problems, make some changes. You do not have to be superwoman to everyone. If you’re not good to your body, your body will not be good to you. Sometimes you just need to take a moment and just relax. It’s okay to put yourself first sometimes.
Find some motivation. I am rejuvenated by music and writing. So when I’m down, I pump up the music and dance around or grab a journal and write. I may write about what I’m feeling. I may write about the song playing. I just write. You have to find that thing that motivates (refuel) you.
Just like with your car, running on empty can cause some unrepairable damages. Learn to identify when things just aren’t “right” with you. Give yourself permission to take time to show self-care. Give yourself permission to love on yourself unapologetically. You are no good to anyone if you are not performing at your best. I encourage you, if you are “running on empty” get to the closest gas station and refuel. You deserve it!!
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Feb 4, 2016 | Encouragement
Have you ever been so discouraged that you wanted to give up? Just throw in the towel? You try over and over again and nothing seems to work. You do your best but your best just don’t seem good enough. Your “MO” has asked your “JO” for a divorce. Your prayers seem to only reach the ceiling and you are just plain tired. Okay, you get picture! Discouragement sets in and you “feel” defeated.
Discouragement has been defined as feeling the loss of confidence (trust in something or someone) and a loss of enthusiasm (passion or interest).
If we go by that definition, discourage
ment sets in when we put confidence in man. The Bible tells us it is better to put trust in God than to put confidence in man (Psalms 118:8). Discouragement sets in when we lose sight of our purpose. Well, Philippians 4:8 reminds us to place our thoughts (passions/interest) on things that are lovely, pure, honest, etc. What’s my point?
When you find yourself feeling discouraged, because remember discouragement is a feeling not a reality; stop and ask yourself where is my focus? Am I focusing on God? Am I focusing on my purpose? Am I focusing on my assignment? Or am I focusing on people? Am I focused on the naysayers? Am focusing on what others have? Grab hold to your thoughts then make a decision to change your focus. Changing your focus will ultimately change the way you feel. I know that sounds so cliché. But you MUST take control your thoughts and your feelings or they will take control of you.
The enemy uses our thoughts to discourage and distract us. He knows if he can get us to either give up on our dreams or lose focus of our dreams, people will not receive the help they need. He knows our own blessings will be hindered. He knows God’s love will not be shown. He knows the purpose on our lives will fade. He also knows if he fails in his attempt to discourage us, he loses!!!
Discouragement is an attack on who you are. Discouragement is an attack on your dreams. Discouragement is an attack on your faith. Discouragement is an attack on your mind. The only thing I know when I’m under attack is to FIGHT!
- Fight the attack of who you are by reminding yourself of who God says you are.
- Fight the attack on your dreams by reminding yourself of WHY you want them.
- Fight the attack of your faith by reminding yourself of God’s faithfulness. He will never leave or forsake you.
- Fight the attack on your mind by surrounding yourself with positive people.
So when discouragement attacks you— FIGHT! Fight with everything you have. Fight like your life depended on it. Because if you are honest with yourself – it does. Many of people have taken their life because they became discouraged. But I declare over everyone reading this that giving up is not an option and you will be victorious! You will fight! You will win! For greater is He that dwells in you than he that is in this world.
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Jan 28, 2016 | Encouragement, Growth
Have you ever felt you were being taken advantage of or unappreciated? If you live in this world, you have felt that way at least once in your life. Because I am a glass half full type of person, I will say it wasn’t intentional or deliberate. Most people don’t know how to show appreciation and others have never been appreciated so they struggle with offering it. Either way, feeling unappreciated hurts!!
However, when you don’t appreciate yourself, that’s worse. If you’ve been following my blog or are friends with me on Facebook, you know I struggled for years with low self-esteem and identity issues. It took me years to see my needs as important and even longer to figure out that I deserved for my needs to be met.
I understand putting the desires of everyone else first because you don’t want to be considered selfish. I understand not dreaming in fear of the dreams not coming true. I understand not setting personal goals because there were so many “more important” things needed to be done. I understand feeling guilty about wanting something just for yourself. I understand when the negative thoughts in your head are so loud that you can’t concentrate. I understand doing everything possible to make every one else happy. I understand refusing to think someone else could possibly understand these feelings. If you can relate to any of this… rest assured I do understand and you are not alone.
It wasn’t until I learned to value myself and my dreams that I was able to push those feelings away. It was becoming my own cheerleader that allowed what other people said to fade into the background. It was treating myself with respect and honor that forced me to demand it from others. It was deciding that my dreams and goals were important that I began to pursue them.
You see when I learned my true value I stopped negotiating with people. I stopped letting them determine what was important to me. I realized my happiness and my sanity were non-negotiable. No longer will I allow anyone to steal my joy or keep me tied to a life feeling unappreciated. But first I had to learn my true value.
How do you determine your own value?
The same way you would determine the value of anything valuable in your life. Value is given by the one who created it. Your creator is God. He made you and He deemed you valuable. His Word says you are more valuable than rubies (Proverbs 31:10). You were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-16). You are His prized possession (James 1:18). You see He set a high value on you. You don’t have to walk around trying to figure it out – it’s already been set!!
When you go into a jewelry store to purchase a ring, you don’t negotiate or haggle the price. You pay what is on the tag or you look for something else. So, why do you negotiate your value with people who cannot see your worth?
Let’s stay there for a minute. Most people who try to negotiate a set price, do so because they don’t know the true value of the merchandise. If someone is haggling you or putting you in a position where you feel you have to negotiate on what’s important to you, more than likely they don’t see your true value and this needs to be addressed. And it’s up to you to do so.
When you walk around with your head down. When you do
n’t respect yourself or demand respect. When you settle for relationships that don’t encourage or motivate you to be better. When you allow disrespectful actions—- It’s clear that you don’t know your own value.
The value of your life and time has been determined. The only one that can negotiate or discount your value is you. If a person don’t treat you with respect, honor your presence, or appreciate who you are, you may need to look at the price you have placed on your time because at some point you discounted your value and are offering it at a price that was never given by the creator.
If you find yourself being treated in a way that challenges your set value or you would like help determining your value and/or how to present it, please set up a session with me. Not knowing your value affects your personal relationships but it also keeps you from achieving your goals which ultimately prevents from being the BEST YOU!! And that, my friend, is UNACCEPTABLE and NON-NEGOTIABLE to me!!
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Jan 21, 2016 | Encouragement
Do you remember back in the day when you had to send film off to be developed? You would place the film in a self-addressed envelope and ship it off. After a few days you would receive your pictures and the negatives in case you needed reprints. Well, today we have advanced and we don’t have to ship the film off. We either print them ourselves or send them electronically to the store and have prints made. We are so advanced!!!
Sadly that’s how we want our lives to be. We do the bare minimum and expect miraculous things to happen. Well, my
dear that is not the way it works!!! In order to get the colorful, beautiful image you desire, you have to deal with the negatives!
You have to deal with the negative people, the negative thoughts, and the negative results. Yes, you have to deal with some negatives. The thing is how you deal with them. Do you let them discourage you from accomplishing your goals? Do you give up hope because of them? Do you get distracted by them? Do you allow them to destroy the image that you dreamed? Do you focus so much attention on the negatives that you lose sight of the picture?
You worked hard to set the picture up just the way you wanted it. You chose the perfect location. You chose the perfect background. You chose the perfect outfit. Your smile was radiant. Your make-up was flawless. You put in the work required to make this the best day and it begins to rain. A NEGATIVE!! You have a choice, you can cancel the photoshoot or you can dance in the rain! Me… I would probably dance in the rain.
My point is instead of focusing on the darkness of negatives, hold that baby up to the light and expose the lies of the enemy. When you become frustrated with life, hold your life up to the light! The light is God! Ask Him for direction. Ask Him for instruction. Ask Him to make the path clearer. You are called to greatness and the enemy has a desire to keep you from answering that call. But you are greater than he is. You are more powerful than he is. You have the ability to do anything you set your mind to.
Regardless how old a negative is, if you have taken proper care of it, it can always reproduce the original photo. So they called you names. So they lied on you. So they mistreated you. So what!!! You are a child of the King. You are made in His image. You are victorious. You are a miracle in itself. You are awesome. Let them talk. Hold that negative up to the light and expose the true image. Reproduce the original image because that’s what the world needs to see. You have an assignment don’t let the darkness of the negative keep you from it.
Until Next Time,
Tina
al development which lead to destiny”. You will never make it to your destiny living haphazardly. You will never make it to your destiny holding on to hurt, anger, or pain. These things will keep you stuck in your current situation. They will hinder you from living the purpose God has for you.
