by Coach Tina | May 19, 2016 | Encouragement, Growth
What God has for me is for me. There isn’t a truer statement. Honestly, what God has for you is definitely for you! Yet I see more and more Christians settling for mediocre. Settling for the status quo. Living a life of just enough. Sitting in a seat of possibility instead of standing in prosperity!!
God’s word says we are to have life and life more abundantly. It declares that we are to be lenders and not borrowers. It specifically says that “we should not want”. Yet I see Christians living below their potential because of what they think others may say about them.
Maybe it’s me but I don’t think Jesus worrying about what people thought of him. I mean this man, (a holy and righteous man) turned water into wine, (yet some say it’s an abomination to drink wine -now you make that choice), he went into the temple and turned the table over (some would say he was angry and Christians shouldn’t show emotions like that), he rebuked the woman at the well (talk about shade) – I think you get my point. Yet we walk around living below our potential because of what we THINK man will say instead of what we KNOW God has said. Now having said that – it does not give you permission to do or say “whatever” you want to do. Remember you have to answer for the choices you make in this world.
We have to learn to go to God for ourselves and ask what the best choice for our lives is. Many people can make suggestions about w
hat you need to do or what you should be doing, but it is only what you do for God that will ultimately matter. And in all honesty even if you are doing it for God and you don’t want to do it – it really won’t matter much.
God loves you and proved it time and time again, so it would make sense that you feel a need to make sacrifices as a sign of appreciation for HIS LOVE. But that is not how God works. Regardless of what you do, He will still love you. He wants you to have the best of the best. He wants you to live life. He wants you to stand in your prosperity. You see it’s giving Him honor when we live life. You can help others if you can’t help yourself – just saying.
I once heard a man say “the God I serve would never require that I struggle”. I couldn’t have said it any better. If I am a child of a KING, why would I live life like a slave? If my Father sits on a throne, why would I feel a need to go without? Maybe it’s my crazy thinking but I just don’t believe God would have you struggle on earth as a payment to get into heaven. No, true heaven will never be on earth, but I refuse to live in hell and call God my father.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | May 5, 2016 | Encouragement, Focus, Growth
There are things in life that we can control and there are things in life that we cannot. The problem is we don’t always know the difference, at least I didn’t. I’ve always been the “fix-it” type person. You know, the one going to the extreme to fix every thing and every body. The one thinking if I don’t fix it, it won’t be right. The one thinking, no one is capable of fixing it but me.
One of the challenges associated with that title, was coming to the reality that I couldn’t fix everything. The other was accepting there were things outside of my ream of control. Yes, I said it and I can admit it! I struggle with control. (I find myself still wanting to control certain things-don’t judge me). For those that know me, it is no surprise but for some of you I’m sure you are on the edge of your seat, with your head in your hands, forcing yourself to see Tina Bailey as a control freak.
Okay, you can sit back in your chair. If you took the time and were honest with yourself, you would find, you are too. We all have a desire for things in our lives to work out. I mean who would go through life knowing something is wrong and do nothing about it? Who would have the ability to change something, and not change it? 
Let me whispers something to you — we do it every day.
You see there is one thing we ALL have the ability to change. There is one thing we have control in changing. However, because we have been told by so many, for so long, that we cannot change it, we do nothing about it. When we take a stand to make a difference in this area, we are labeled. When we seek to make this area better, we are often told we are wasting our time. Even when people see the changes, they point out the areas that are not changing.
What is that area? I’m glad you asked. We can change ourselves. We can make a better life for ourselves. We can work on ourselves. We can find ways to make ourselves better. We can take a stand for ourselves. But we don’t want to do that. We want to change everyone around us. We want to point out the things wrong with everyone else. We want to “fix” them.
We are being challenged today to do the most challenging thing of our lives. Take care of our own business. Realize that we all have issues. None of us are perfect. Yet God loves us in spite of it. Did you know when we stand for judgement, we will not be asked what we think about what someone else did. We will be judged according to our own transgressions. We will not be compared to another person. We will only be compared to the person we were when we vowed to make a change.
Realize this:
- We are not required to be perfect.
- We are required to make an intentional effort to do better.
- We are required to use the lessons we learned through our efforts to do better.
- We are required to not judge the imperfections of others.
- We are required to not justify our actions by the things we see others doing.
So in your efforts to “control” the situation, ask yourself – what am I trying to control? Is this something outside of my ream of control? Then pray – God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Apr 29, 2016 | Talks with Tina
QUESTION:
I’m embarrassed to write this but I promised myself I would get help. I am in a relationship that in the past has been abusive. He hasn’t hit me in a long time. I know this relationship is not good for me but it seems I can’t let it go. I’ve tried to end it but I love him and feel he’s the one. He promises me he will change but I honestly can’t see much change. I really don’t know what to do. What do I do now?
ANSWER:
WOW!! I’m so proud of you for your honesty. It’s hard to know something is bad for you but want it anyway. It’s even harder when everyone around you is constantly reminding you of how bad it is. Most women stay in abusive relationships way too long. We hold on to the belief that the abuse will stop. We hope that our love will be enough to eventually change him. We even pray that God will send a miracle. Yet nothing changes in fact if we are honest it only gets worse.
Baby girl, I wish I could wave a magical wand and your situation would change but I’m no fairy godmother. In fact, if I had that ability I would wave that wand my way. What I can tell you is you need to make a decision. You need to decide what is best for you. No one can make that decision but you. I get the impression you are more concerned about what’s best for him than what’s best for you. You said you know the relationship is not good for you BUT you’re still in in it. You said he promised to change BUT he hasn’t.
Actions speak louder than words any day. If a person say they are going to do something but then they don’t, you can count that as a lie. If a person does one thing while saying something else – most likely they are “doing” what they wish they had the nerve to “say” they would do. What I mean is this… he may have stopped hitting you and if not this response would have been different. But he is still being abusive if he isn’t treating you the way you desire to be treated. Regardless how much love you show, you cannot change anyone and you definitely can’t make anyone love you.
WHAT DO YOU DO? Learn to love yourself. Learn to date yourself. Learn to be kind to yourself. Learn to be patient with yourself. Take the time to find what you really desire in a mate. Clearly you haven’t done that. You are attracting the “toad” in him because that’s all you feel you deserve. Straighten up your crown and demand to be treated like the queen you are. As long as you sit by the pond with the toads you will never enter into the palace and be treated like royalty.
To the woman in an abusive relationship: I know you think you don’t have a choice. But you do. I know you think no one cares about you (he’s told you that a million times). But I care. I know you don’t see how you are going to make it. You really don’t need to. What you need to know is the longer you stay in the situation, the worse it’s going to get. Today it may be yelling, tomorrow it could be hitting by the next day you may not be alive to tell what happened. In no way am I telling you what to do because I really do believe you are able to decide what is best for you. You may not know how you will do it and that’s okay. There are people available to help you with that. All you need to do is make a decision that you are ready for the abuse to stop. I am praying for you. I am praying that you will see how special you are and that you will come to understand that love does not hurt. I pray that you will realize you are unable to change anyone and you cannot make someone love you. You can always reach out to me at info@tinabaileyonline.com or send me a private message on Facebook at Tina Bailey Online.
by Coach Tina | Apr 29, 2016 | Encouragement, Growth
Are you happy? I mean genuinely happy. What does happy look like to you? What does happy feel like? Does being happy require assistance from someone or something? Can you be happy all by yourself?
I know so many questions but I’m just curious. We all say we want to be happy but no one can explain what “happy” is. People have a hard time explaining what it looks like or even what it feels like. We are quick to have millions of thoughts about what it is not but no one can put into words “WHAT IT IS”.
Some would say happy is smiling. Some would say happy is having money. Some would say happy is being around people you love or that love you. Some would say happy
is laughing. Some may even say it’s knowing that everything is going to be okay. But what is happy to you?
I have to admit something… this was a trick question! My definition of happy and your definition of happy can and probably will be two completely different things. There may be things in life that may contribute to my happiness that could make you angry. For example, I don’t care for crowds. They tend to drain my energy. I find myself much happier when I am sitting quietly reading a book. But there are people who sitting in a quiet room would be torturous for them.
My whole point is your definition of happy is your definition no one else’s. What makes you feel happy can only be determined by you. So many times we look at what others are doing and think “if I could do that then I would be happy”. If my relationship was like that – I’d be happy. If that was my job – I’d be happy. If I lived there – I’d be happy. Stop doing that!!!! Because you really don’t know if that person is happy or not (looks can be deceiving).
Remember everything you need to find your happy place can be found inside of you. If you don’t get anything else out of this post – understand NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY. There is NO outside force that can make you happy – so please stop fooling yourself. Happiness comes from within. Your happiness can only be felt by you. Yes, other may be able to contribute to your happiness. They may even be able to see the results of your happiness but they will never be able to feel your happiness.
I found these quotes and wanted to share them with you –
Happiness is something that you are and it comes from the way you think. Wayne Dyer
Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling. Margaret Lee Runbeck
Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony. Mahatma Gandhi
Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting some on yourself. James Van Der Zee
Stop looking for others to bring you happiness. They don’t have the power to do it. Stop expecting your happiness to look like someone else’s. It never will. Stop expecting things to make you happy. They never will. Instead share a bit of happiness with others and watch it explode inside of you.
But we still have to ask what is HAPPY? Happy is the excitement that wakes you up in the morning and the satisfaction that rocks you to sleep at night. Happy is the feeling of contentment that you are living a “no regrets life”. Happy is a life time of sweet aroma that passes by ever-so-often. Happy is what gives you the strength to go a little further. Happy is the sunshine after the rain. Happy is whatever you make it and whatever feels good to you. Your happy was created just for you and can only be enjoyed by you.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Apr 22, 2016 | Encouragement, Focus, Growth
Another one of America’s musical legends died this week. The death of Prince Roger Nelson seem to have taken the world by surprise. If you look over social media, you see so many different responses from sadness to anger. People are slipping into depression. Some are “demanding” answers as to how he died. While others are simply flooding the airwaves with his music. Whatever you need to do to cope with the death of this maestro, is completely fine and warranted.
Although I wasn’t a huge fan, I did enjoy his music. One of my favorite songs was “Purple Rain”. If I can be honest, I think it was the significant things that happened around the time the song came out. When the movie Purple Rain was released, my mom allowed me to go with my friends. This was the first time I had been able to go to the movies “alone”. Yeah, my brother was in the theater but he didn’t sit with us. So to me it was 
part of my history in the making!!!
Okay, sorry I digress. I was also excited about going to the movie hoping it would shine some light about what the song was really about because honestly I was confused. Okay, don’t act like I’m by myself on this one. Until that movie came out we all was trying to figure out – what in the world is Prince talking about?
The movie gave us all the impression that it was about his sexuality and the way he dealt with the controversies in his life. It also gave us the impression the song was about the love he had for some girl. Some even say he was releasing the woman he loved to live her life anyway she wanted and that he would always love her. Well, whatever you decide the song means to you is probably true. But I want to look at some things with you because I feel he was telling us all to find the “Purple Rain” in your life.
Let’s look at some of the words of the song…
I never meant to cause you any sorrow I never meant to cause you any pain I only wanted to one time to see you laughing I only wanted to see you laughing in the purple rain
Purple rain, Purple rain, Purple rain, Purple rain, Purple rain, Purple rain I only wanted to see you bathing in the purple rain
Honey, I know, I know I know times are changing It’s time we all reach out for something new, that means you too
Purple rain, Purple rain, I only want to see you in the purple rain
With all the hurt in the world. With all the controversies. This week a young girl lost her life because a group of her peers jumped her. History is being made with Harriet Tubman being added to the face of the $20 bill yet racism is at its all-time high. People are becoming bold with their disregard for God and sanctification. So what is this “purple rain”? I believe Prince was being very strategic with not only this song but with most of the songs he wrote. He was giving us a glimpse of what he saw to be the true demise of the world. It would be destroyed by the lack of willingness we have to love unconditionally.
In the first verse here says “it wasn’t meant to cause sorrow or pain”. Love should be the catalyst for bringing this world together but instead it is the love man has for his own desires that is tearing it further and further apart. Next, it says “times are changing and it’s time to reach for something new”. People don’t want to see change. They are stuck in the past and wanting things to remain the same. When he talks about “purple rain”, he is specific. He says he want to see the person “bathing” in purple rain. He wants to see the person “in” the purple rain. I believe the purple rain Prince was talking about was peace. A place of comfort. A place of refuge. A place where you are happy. And he didn’t want it to be a place you could go in and come out unchanged. When you are bathed in something you come out smelling like it. When you are in something, it becomes a part of you.
What is your “Purple Rain”? What is your place of solitude? How can you use this time to spread love instead of sorrow and pain? Will you be the change the world needs? Will you let the world see you “walking in the purple rain”??
Until Next Time
hat you need to do or what you should be doing, but it is only what you do for God that will ultimately matter. And in all honesty even if you are doing it for God and you don’t want to do it – it really won’t matter much. 
