by Coach Tina | Apr 14, 2017 | Encouragement, Gratitude, Growth
I’ve always wondered why we called Good Friday “good”? I mean this day was filled with sorrow, darkness and death. Yet we celebrate it and call it “Good Friday”. Many of us have the day off work. We may cookout or go to the beach. We celebrate a day we should be mourning! I mean a man – a righteous man died on this day…..
As Christians, this day represents the basis of what we believe. It is the backbone of our belief. If not for the period we call “Good Friday thru Resurrection Sunday” we would have nothing to base our belief on. But still why “Good” Friday?
It was said in olden times it was actually called “God’s Friday”. Okay, that I can get with! But Good Friday? Then I began to think. I was a good Friday. It was the day when pain and peace came together as one. It was the day that suffering and rejoicing united. It was the day that my sins were forgiven. It was a good day for me at least.
Although Jesus knew His assignment before even coming from heaven, Good Friday was the day He solidified His love for the Father and for us. 
I love my kids and I’ve always said I would die for them. But let’s be honest there are times when they make me mad, do something I don’t approve of or even say things that hurt my feelings. It is those days I question whether I would die for them and to think of dying a horrific death like crucifixion. Yeah, on those days, I would have to pause and think about it.
Although I would think about it as it relates to my kids, I probably wouldn’t even consider it for someone that has really hurt me, used me, or mistreated me. I’m glad I’m not God or y’all would be in trouble. I mean think about it – there are some people who have mistreated you and you probably wouldn’t even give them water more less give your life for them. Let’s make it even more relatable – you have people you haven’t spoken to in years because of something somebody said they said about you. Fact is you don’t know if it’s true or not but you walk around with that grudge like it’s the bible. Okay I got off track (but someone needed to read that- Let it go).
So even though we may look sideways at the person that has mistreated us, Jesus didn’t. He died for the ones that believed in Him and the ones that didn’t. He died for the ones that treated Him well and the ones that hated Him. He died for ME!! The one that have at some point broken every one of the ten commandments. Now that right there is a true example of love.
But why “Good Friday”? When you look at it with our sinful eyes, there is no good in His being beaten, spit on, nailed to a cross, forsaken by His father, tortured and then dying on top of all of that. There is no good in that. But when you look at it from Jesus’s view, the good was He accomplished what God sent Him to do — save a dying world… to provide a way that we would be saved from ourselves…. He did it for ME. And now that “it was finished”, it was the day He was going back home to His Father.
So the “good” part of Good Friday is that He loved me enough to die for me. The good part of Good Friday is God loved me enough to let Him. The good part of Good Friday is now I can repent of my sins and have a chance of seeing God. The good part of Good Friday is while I was yet a sinner Christ died for me that I may not have to see the true wrath of God and receive the punishment that I deserve. The good in Good Friday is that I have an opportunity to get things right here on earth so that I can return to God. So happy Good Friday!!!!
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Mar 14, 2017 | Fear
I can usually find comfort in the Word of God. But the other day a friend sent me the scripture Romans 8:28 – “for we know all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called for according to His purpose”.
My first thought was thank you because I knew it was being sent from a place of love. But it was my next thoughts that screamed loudly in my ear. “What good can come out of this mess?” then I went to a dark place and said “maybe I’m not called according to His purpose. Maybe I’m not as much of His child as I thought I was or He wouldn’t have allowed me to go throu
gh this AGAIN!”
It was then that I felt the precious arms of God wrap around me and I knew He really was working it out for my good. I knew that He has called me for His purpose. But most importantly He knows that I love Him and I know He loves me.
Sometimes you can go through something so severe that it shatters everything you believe and even some of the things you know. It can leave you in pieces with no hope of repair. But that’s when God can do His best work!!! When you “think” you have it all together and you are taking care of things yourself, it ties God’s hands and He is unable to show you how this can work for your good. But when you are at the point of hopelessness and brokenness, God can reach down and shower you with all His glory.
The hard part is believing that He’s there – even in those dark and scary places. But remember He promised to never leave you nor forsake you. He promised to stick closer than a brother. He promised to be a father to the fatherless, mother to the motherless. He promised and I believe His promises. Do you?
Have you tied the hands of God by trying to work it out yourself? Maybe it’s time to give it to the One who can do the impossible. Maybe it’s time to let Him show you how He is working it out for your good!
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Mar 10, 2017 | Encouragement, Growth
If you were raised in church or around an older person, you have most likely heard the saying “many didn’t make it but I was one of the ones that did”. Many times, it was said during testimonial service followed with how God had delivered them from some horrific situation or circumstance. Until recently, I was one of those that used it; like many of the other religious clichés’, without meaning or thought. It wasn’t till I had a true wake up call and had to fall on my knees that I finally got it. We take so much for granted but understand – one decision can change your life for ever.
Many didn’t make it but I was one of the ones that did.
For months(who am I kidding – years), I walked around like everything was great and my life was picture perfect. I put on the mask and wore it well (had even blinged it out so it didn’t look like a mask). I would send words of encouragement and talk about how great life was. Listen – all those people posting on social media saying life is great ALL the time – THEY LYING!!!! I can say that because I was one of them. I was lying! It was all about the image!
One day I had a real come to Jesus moment and I had to be real with myself (actually it was after a session with one of my clients – but I digress). I asked myself – Tina, what are you doing? What are you trying to prove? Who are you trying to impress? It was time for me to be honest with myself. I had fallen back into my old habits. I was again trying to control what people thought of me. I was more concerned with the image I portrayed than being true to myself. I was doing things I didn’t want to do because it was the “right thing” to do. I was saying yes when I wanted to say no. I was putting on a smile when inside I was crying. I was eating to cover up the pain I was feeling. I had begun to distance myself from loved ones. I was pushing away the things I loved to cater to the things other people liked. I had allowed my need to control the situation or what others saw the situation to be (codependency) to take control of my life AGAIN.
I will do a video as well as write a blog about codependency; but for now – Codependency can be defined as an effort to control and/or manipulate a situation to get a result then getting mad when that result is not received. For example, showing unconditional love in hopes of getting it back. Offering forgiveness in hopes the person would see your pain and never hurt you again. Doing things not because you want to but because you don’t want to make someone mad.
My life was a mess and I didn’t know how to fix it. But I had to figure it out because I am Ms. Fix-it!! My life was out of control and it was driving me crazy. But I had to figure it out because I am Ms. Control-freak! I couldn’t understand how THIS could be happening to me, again. I ALWAYS tried to do what was right and what everyone expected me to do. (Or did, I?)
The facade was taking its toll on me and many days I just wanted to give up but knew I couldn’t because the people were looking. I was tired. I was tired of hurting. I was tired of lying. I was tired of wearing the mask. I was tired of acting like everything was okay. I was tired of trying to be everything for everyone. I was tired of trying to be the super-saint. I was tired of having to act like my life was perfect. I was tired – physically, mentally, and emotionally.
God has a way of sending you help in ways you least expect it. Someone commented on a prayer I had posted several months ago. In this prayer, I asked God to reveal the things in my life that I had put before Him and to give me the strength to let them go. To remove the comfort that I had found in them, so I would no longer desire them in my life.
I never expected Him to actually do it. I never expected this prayer to roll around and be a mirror for me. This was for my friends on Facebook – not for me. I was good. My life was perfect. I was doing just fine wearing my mask and encouraging others to take their off. I was doing just fine. But no, I had to post this prayer and God called my bluff! Wearing the mask became uncomfortable. Hiding the pain became unreasonable. And I had placed them all before the only person that could heal them.
You see it could have been just as easy for me to keep living that lie. I could have continued to deny myself an opportunity for God to work through the pain I was trying to cover up because I felt I had to impress someone. I could have stayed right there in that pain. I could have died in that pain or as a result of that pain. Sadly, many will.
Many didn’t make it but I was one of the ones that did. Many women remain in bad situations out of fear of what people would say. They stay out of fear of what they think the alternative will look like. They stay because someone told them to give it one more try. They stay because they think it’s the “Godly” thing to do. Some even stay because they have become comfortable in the pain.
I just want to ask you one question – Is your “comfort” worth living a lie and going to hell over? God loves you unconditionally and provides you with an opportunity to do whatever you desire; however, He said we should have NO OTHER GOD before Him. Has that man, friend, job, circumstance or situation become a god? Are you using a mask to cover up the hurt it’s causing? (Okay I said one question – I lied!) But don’t allow your mask or the situation you think you are covering up with your mask to replace God in your life. Be one of the ones that makes it. Be one of the ones that allows God to heal the pain behind the mask. Hey – we can do it together!!
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Feb 28, 2017 | Fear, Growth
Although very transparent in some areas, I am very private in others. I don’t share things that hurt me because I’ve been taught that people use your weaknesses against you. I’ve also been taught never let them see you sweat and definitely don’t let them see you cry.
Well this morning was hard! And I really didn’t care who saw me cry. I didn’t care who gain knowledge from my weaknesses. And I didn’t care if they tried to use them against me. It was important to me that God heard my cry and that He understood my pain. Sometimes
you have to get to the point you don’t care who is around you. You don’t care who sees you. You don’t care if you get ugly. Sometimes you just have to lay before the Lord and cry out to God for help.
In the midst of my tears, God reassured me that He was there. He reassured me that He never left me. He gently rocked me in His arms and helped me to see that all would be okay. As I wiped my face and collected myself, I heard a bird chirping outside of my window. What an awesome reminder of His love and mercies!!
Even in the midst of the storm, God will send a reminder of His presence.
I’m reminded of the Bible story where Jesus was in the boat with the disciples and it began to storm. The disciples looked around and found Jesus asleep. They woke him up and asked if He cared that they may drown in the storm. Jesus stood up and said “Peace be still” and a peace came over the ocean and the storm faded away – just like that!!! Jesus then looked at the disciples and said “What are you afraid of? Do 
you have any faith?”
When things around you are chaotic, it’s very easy to “walk in fear instead of faith”. And even easier to forget that God is right there with you. Do I view the disciples different because they were afraid? Nope! Do I view you different when you are afraid? Nope! And I don’t look at myself different when I am afraid! Yes, God did not give us the spirit of fear. He has instructed us to lean NOT on our own understanding. There are many mentions in the Bible where we should TRUST HIM! So if I’m afraid does that mean I’m not trusting Him. I don’t think so. I think it is an indication I may have taken my eyes off of Him and placed them on my situation. It may be an indication I have begun to look at the size of my storm instead of the size of my God. It may be an indication it’s time to pray a little more. But it DOES NOT mean I lack trust in Him.
Does my fear mean I don’t have faith? Does it mean I don’t trust God? Nope, it means I am human!
The enemy would want you to think if you are afraid it shows a lack of faith. The enemy would want you to believe if you are going through a storm then you must have done something wrong. The enemy would even have you believe going through a storm means God has walked away from you. NONE of these things are true. Truth is God loves you and is concerned with every aspect of your life. Truth is some storms come in our lives to build our Faith. The Truth is God is always right there with you. Stop allowing the enemy to hold you captive to your thoughts. He is a coward and has no authority. You, on the other hand, were fearfully and wonderfully made. You were hand-picked for a time such as this. You have power over the enemy and his schemes because you, my dear, are a child of the KING!!!
So the next time you are afraid and feel as if everything around you is chaotic, stop and do an assessment. What has my attention? Who has my attention? Have I asked God for help? Am I listening to His instructions? You see regardless of what you go through; God is ALWAYS there! But if you listen to the sounds of the storm, you may miss His voice. It just takes His small, still voice to calm the storm around you.
Until Next Time
by Coach Tina | Feb 1, 2017 | Encouragement, Fear
Do you have desires and dreams but you are afraid to pursue them? Do you live your life in your “comfort zone” out of fear of failing? Do you find yourself wrestling with whether or not to do something you’ve never done before? You my dear could be battling with your “COURAGE” and it’s winning!
I’m sure most of you have heard the story of Jesus walking on water. In case you haven’t you can read about it here (Matthew 14:22-33). In the meanwhile, here is a paraphrase of what happened. Jesus told the disciples to get in the boat and to go to the other side of the lake while he went to pray. While he was praying the boat drifted away from the land and Jesus had to walk on the water to get to the disciples. When they saw Him they got scared, thinking he was a ghost. He told them to not be afraid. Peter said if it’s really you let me come to you. Jesus said come on. Peter began walking on the water towards Jesus until he looked around, saw the wind and the waves, got scared and began to sink. Jesus reached out grabbed his hand, and asked why did you have doubt? Why did you get scared? Then he sat with the disciples in the boat and they realized Jesus really was the Son of God. Whew!!!
Okay, let’s talk about the courage thing and why I chose this scripture as a reference. I hear people talk about how they have all this courage and they aren’t afraid of anything. And the real “super-saints” quickly quote the scriptures about how God did not give you a spirit of fear or how we shouldn’t be afraid because God is always with us. AND all of that is true. God is always with us and He did NOT give us a spirit of fear but just like with Peter, when He saw his doubt He reached and helped him and he will do the same for us. He knows what we need way before we know ourselves.
So one night I was lying in bed, because that’s when I get most of my ideas for my blogs, and a thought came to my mind. What keep people from doing the things that make them happy? What is one of the main things they need in order to move from their comfort zone into a space of abundance? COURAGE!!! They need courage! We need courage!!! Then I said what is courage and this is what came to mind…
Confidence, Opportunity, Understanding, Reason, Attitude Check, Guidance and Expectation!!! I didn’t understand it then, but as I’ve began looking deeper it’s getting clearer. I go will go into full detail on my community Facebook page so if you are not following me there please do so (make sure you press like and make a comment on at least two post so you will be notified when I post).
But here we go! Courage is the ability to do something even if it frightens you. Many people stay stuck in situations because of fear. They struggle with their courage. Don’t get it twisted – I struggle with my courage often. In fact, I had to make a big decision just recently and it was my courage or the lack thereof that kept me in limbo for almost a year! Yea, you saw that right! It took me a year to make this decision and to stick with it. So don’t think for a moment that you are alone. Anyone that tells you they don’t struggle at times is LYING to you!! One of my biggest challenges (fears) is doing videos. Although I get the most feedback from them, they scare me. It’s crazy I can speak to groups of hundreds and although nervous, I’m not fearful. I think it’s with a live audience I can gage how things are going and make corrections if needed but with a video recording, it’s out there for the world to see without any correction. But I’m jumping out on faith and I’m going to do some recording (starting with this topic)! Y’all pray for your girl! Okay, that was one of Tina’s bunny trails.
I was in limbo for a year until I mastered how to beat my courage at her own game. I straddled up and I went to battle. That’s when I began to break down the bible story of Jesus walking on water. Check this out. 
Confidence: I imagine it took at least little confidence for Peter to even step out of the boat and to think he could walk on water. And it took even more for him to call on Jesus to help him when he began to sink. He knew Jesus would and could help him. He didn’t call out to the other disciples. Why? Because his faith was in Jesus not the people in the boat. When you want to get your courage under control, stop worrying about what the people around you are saying focus on what God is telling you. Start speaking the promises He has given you. You are victorious, you are a child of the king, you can live in abundance.
Opportunity: Peter was ready when opportunity presented itself. Peter asked Jesus if he could come to him. Now imagine when Jesus said yes, Peter had to put on his pants or shoes. Or he had to position himself. No, when Jesus said come, he stepped. We ask God for things but we are not in a position to receive them when opportunity presents itself. I once saw a quote that said “I’m positioning myself to receive what I prayed for”. Discouragement will keep you in a position where you miss opportunities presented to you.
Understanding: Peter understood what was required. To walk a courageous life, you have to understand the assignment. Many of us want the blessings of God but don’t understand what’s required to get them. He said we can have an abundant life IF we follow him and not the enemy. (John 10:10) He said we don’t have worry about what we will eat, drink or wear. We don’t have to worry about “stuff”, IF we seek the kingdom of heaven first. (Matthew 6:33) Understand who gives you courage.
Reason: Peter had a reason to step out of the boat. He wanted to get to where Jesus was. What’s your reason for wanting to do that thing that has you afraid? Maybe it’s leaving a job to start your own business. Maybe it’s going back to school. Maybe it’s buying a car. Maybe it’s getting married. What is it? Why do you want to do it? I was once told if your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough.
Attitude Check: When Peter began to sink, it was because he looked out at the winds and the waves. He took his attention off of Jesus. He began to think with his head instead of with his heart. He began to trust what he saw instead of what he knew. When you find yourself struggling with your courage, do an attitude check. Ask yourself what am I focusing on, who am I focusing on?
Guidance: When the disciples were in the boat, the became afraid thinking it was a ghost coming towards them. Even Peter doubted because he said “IF it be you, let me come to you.” Be careful who you surround yourself with. Bad guidance is guidance but it will not help you get where you are trying to go. In fact, it can keep you struggling even more. Everyone will have an idea of what you “should” do. Make sure it lines up with what you and God have agreed on.
Expectation: Peter had several expectations. One, he expected that he would be able to walk to Jesus or he wouldn’t have gotten out of the boat. Second, he expected Jesus to save him, or he wouldn’t have asked him to. What are your expectations? Most of us lose the battle with our courage because we don’t expect to win. We think of all the reasons why something could go wrong instead of the reasons why it could go right. Get out of your head!!! Expect great things and great things will come to you.
So when you find yourself struggling with your (courage) faith, think about Peter. Peter had to make some choices. If he really wanted to get what he desired in this case to be where Jesus was (understanding/reason), he had to push aside his doubt (confidence). He had to do something he had never done before (opportunity). He had to believe it was possible and leave those that didn’t (attitude check). He had to realize that even if it didn’t work, God would be there to catch him (guidance/expectation).
This is just one way God gave me revelation on COURAGE. Join me over on my Facebook page as we talk about Blue, a little bird, that wanted to be like her momma and fly.
Until Next Time,
If you found this helpful or know someone who needs encouragement, please take a moment and share it on social media.
