I have a confession to make. I’ve had my struggles with issues that required me to offer forgiveness and well my confession is I didn’t do so well. Are you really forgiving if you don’t forget? I’ve always been that person to say you can forgive without forgetting because forgetting sets you up for it to happen again. Well… that may be true BUT holding on to the thoughts of what happened keeps you stuck in the pain of what was done to you.
There are super saints out there that have no problem forgiving AND forgetting when people mistreat them or do them wrong. I have to admit I am NOT one of them but I’m praying that God will help me to truly forgive and forget the things and/or people that have hurt my feelings in the past.
Forgetting the wrong doings of others can be a hard assignment but with dedication and commitment I believe it can be done. What helps me is to remember, I want to be forgiven and I even want my flaws and mishaps to be forgotten. How can we expect others to do for us what we are not willing to do for them?
But how do you forget?
- Memories have a way of just popping up. If a memory occurs, take a deep breath and remember you are in control of your thoughts. You have the ability to make them anything you want them to be.
- Be real with yourself. Ask “Did something happen to retrigger that thought?” Many times memories are triggered by the strangest things. We are like onions sometimes we cannot deal with all of the situation at one time and we need to handle it piece by piece. If that is the case deal with your feelings but don’t dwell in your feelings.
- Realize you have an option. You can continue to allow this situation or thought to control you or you can control it. Ask yourself “Is this worth getting upset over?” “Do I really want to deal with this now or can I move on?”
- Then decide how you will deal with the memory. As I said you are in control of your thoughts and your decisions. If you choose to put the memory aside and not allow it to upset you – forgetting has begun. If you choose to allow it control you and take over your thoughts – you need to work on forgiving because there is still some issues there.
I told you forgiving and forgetting requires work and dedication but I believe that we are more than capable of putting in the work to master the task and to grow to be our BEST!
Until next time,