by Coach Tina | Jun 16, 2016 | Fear, Growth
There is nothing like “VIP Status”. You get benefits that others could only imagine having. You are moved to the front of the line, if you have to wait in line at all. You are ushered to the front of the arena like dignitaries. Usually your seats are a little plusher than the others. You have a view close enough to see everything and anything worth seeing. You are almost as important as the person you have come to see because you, my dear, are a VIP. A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON
Are there individuals in your life with a VIP Status? Have you ever tried to figure out how they got there? Who invited them? Who gave them a special invitation? Who told them they could sit up front AND on the front row? Well, clearly at some point you did!! Now you are ready for them to exit left.
It’s important to understand you are not alone. Many have people in our lives whose VIP status should have been revoked a long time ago. In fact, it’s a great possibility they you had second thoughts about even inviting them to the performance in the first place. Yet you took the chance put the invitation in an envelope and popped it into the mailbox. The recipient opened it, accepted it and you led them to the front row. Now, they are distracting you from what is supposed to be the performance of your life. How did you let this happen? What were you thinking? Truth is you weren’t thinking or you didn’t think long enough. But it’s okay, don’t beat yourself up. What has happened has happened. You live and you learn. Now, let’s do something about it.
You see we are humans. It’s human nature to look for the best in people. I mean let’s be real… if you walked around looking for the bad in everyone you would live a very lonely life. You would live a miserably unhappy life. You see, it’s when people do the same thing and you dismiss it or try to justify it, that will give you cause to rethink your invite list.
When people show you who they are believe them the first time.
Maya Angelou
It really don’t take a genius to see if a person constantly mistreats or disrespects you, sticking around hoping they will change is probably not a good idea. If they had any intention of changing, they would have by now.
But how do you revoke their status? I mean they are on the front row. Sitting right in front for everyone to see. Asking them to leave would be disrespectful. Right?
Listen… you know when it’s time to release someone from your life and if you need help with that, we can talk about it. You are the CEO of your life and you can hire or fire whomever you desire. Your management team should consist of people who will help move your organization (life) in the direction you desire it to go. Not people using your organization for personal gain.
Those individuals that seem the hardest to let go, are the ones that have made the biggest impact in your life. Maybe a good impact at some point, but if you are considering l
etting them go the impact has changed. They have shown you in some way “who they are” and you’ve decided to make some adjustments.
How to revoke a VIP Status?
- Take your time This is not a marathon. You don’t have to make a drastic decision but you do have to make a decision. You cannot stay on the fence on this one. You must decide what’s most important. And any CEO knows the well-being of the organization always comes first.
- Do what’s best for you So many times we focus on what everyone else wants for us or what’s best for everyone else. At one point YOLO (you only live once) was extremely popular (it’s fading now) but the truth is if you are living right you only need to live once.
- Accept it It’s only when you identify and admit there is a problem, that you can make adjustments. Remember you cannot change other people. Just like you have rights, so do they. So give them their rights and accept their desire to be who they want to be. Remember their choices has nothing to do with you.
- Forgive Forgive yourself. Forgive them. Remember when you refuse to forgive, you allow bitterness to set in. Forgiving someone never excuses what they did but it allows you to unlock the chains that hold you captivated by what they did. You are at the peak of your performance now is not the time to be bound with unforgiveness.
- Change your environment Go somewhere. Go for a walk. There is nothing like a change of scenery to clear your mind. You’ve dealt with this long enough. Put it down for a little while. Trust me if you desire to pick it up when you return it will be right there. Hopefully you won’t want to pick it back up.
- Have some fun Remember the things that once made you laugh. The things that made you smile. The things you could talk about for hours with your friends. Do them. Start enjoying your life. Remember “if you are living right, you only need to live once”.
Revoking a VIP card is never easy and can be extremely difficult. However, allowing the performance you’ve worked your whole life to perform slip away, because of the distraction or lack of respect from someone who wishes you would fail, is crazy.
The curtain is about open are you ready? Your life begins NOW!!! Who’s in your VIP section? Should they be? Only you can answer those questions.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Apr 8, 2016 | Fear
Do thoughts of the future scare you? Do the inability to know what tomorrow holds keep you up at night? Have you ever wondered if you made the right decision? Or maybe you focus on what someone may be saying about you? Some people become so consumed with their thoughts that they become overwhelmed and even paralyzed.
Fear has a way of controlling you physically and mentally. Some people get so consumed by their fears that they have panic or anxiety attacks. I’ve actually witness someone experiencing an attack and it’s not very pretty. They were shaking, sweating, and gasping for air. They began grabbing their chest saying their heart was racing. It was quite scary if you ask me. It’s definitely not something I care to experience again.
More and more people are suffering from the anxiety, causing many to take medicines to control symptoms associated with it. It’s easy to find therapist and/or coaches that focus on helping people deal with anxiety. Special exceptions are made for people who have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. And to those who have ever experienced an attack, it’s real. It’s scary and it’s difficult to deal with.
But what is anxiety? I mean we hear about people having attacks. We’ve heard of people hyperventilating to the point they lose consciousness or pass out. But what is it exactly?
I was listening to a scope about anxiety and it got me to thinking. So what does Tina do when she start thinking – she does research! Anxiety is defined as a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease. It typically occurs when there is an event or there is an uncertainty about the outcome of a situation. Now let’s break that down in everyday language.
Anxiety is a feeling that happens when you are scared of what may happen in the future.
Wow!! There is so much I want to say about this but I’m going to keep it to the minimum.
- Anxiety is a feeling. Y’all know my take on feelings. They are controlled by YOU!! So that means you can control it. Now it takes practice. It takes determination. It also takes time to master that control. But you can control it because it is a feeling. You are the only one that can control how you feel about something.
- Anxiety happens when you are scared. The bible clearly states “God did not give us a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7). So where did it come from. Fear is an emotion. Sometimes fear keeps us from walking into situations that can cause us harm but then there are times, it hinders us from walking into the blessings God has for us.
- Anxiety focuses on the future. It is not our job to focus on tomorrow. When we focus on tomorrow we lose valuable time. Time to accomplish what we are supposed to do TODAY. You cannot control tomorrow so why waste time dwelling on it? Therefore; do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself (Matthew 6:34).
Okay, so now what? You told me what anxiety is but why did I really need to know this? You see you will never be able to walk in your purpose focusing on your fears. The enemy wants you to focus on the things that will hinder you from moving forward. That being said, when you apply attention to fear, it has a way of growing. Fear grows into anxiety and will destroy you. Remember whatever you water will grow.
The bible gives specific instructions on how to deal with anxiety (fear). Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7) HUH????
- DON’T BE AFRAID – Make a decision that you are not going to fear the unknown. Focus on the things you can control not the things you CANNOT! Remember God has your back, your front and your sides!!
- PRAY – I know! But you have to learn to refocus your attention – what better way than having a talk with God to do just that. Remember He created you so He knows what you need.
- PRAY with supplication – Supplication means an earnest specific request. Deliberately asking God for what you desire expecting an answer and a result. If you are fearful, ask God to remove it. If you can’t sleep ask God to help you. Ask SPECIFICALLY for what you desire.
- BE THANKFUL – It is hard to focus on “what is NOT” and “what is” at the same time. You are a child of the most high so why are you focusing on what others “say” you are. They really don’t know who you are anyway.
- SEEK PEACE – Get quiet. Get in a peaceful place physically and mentally. Surround yourself with positive, peaceful people. Get rid of the negative things in your life. Remember you mimic what’s around you.
- LISTEN – God will send you instruction. He will speak to your heart and to your mind. But it will be hard for you to hear if you are not listening for His voice.
We all get scared some times. In all honest, if you never had a fear, that would concern me. It’s really a part of nature. It’s normal. The thing is don’t let your fears become bigger than God. Be anxious for nothing. Allow the things that concern you, become the things that inspire you. Every trial in your life can become a part of your testimony. What you see as mess, God can use as a message. You just have to be willing to let him.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Dec 9, 2015 | Fear
Growing up I heard my grandmother say, “I once complained about my shoes until I meet a woman that had no feet!” That was her way of telling me to be thankful for ALL things. Good and bad!
Although I understood what Grandma was saying, I must admit, I still had things I complained about and I took a lot of things for granted. As the year comes to an end, I can look back at things and realize maybe I should have been more appreciative of certain opportunities, maybe I should have slowed down just a little bit and took the time to say “thank you”. Maybe I should have looked deeper in the eyes of my loved ones when I said “I love you”. Maybe! Maybe! Maybe! Unfortunately, those moments are gone, but I have today! You have today. We have all the moments that will appear from this point forward.
Complaining is defined as: a verbal or nonverbal display expressing dissatisfaction or annoyance about something.
Did you realize most of the things we complain about are things we can actually do something about?
Instead of complaining about how people treat you…show them how you desire to be treated by treating yourself with respect and love. Stop tal
king negatively to yourself. Set boundaries for individuals that don’t treat you the way you desire to be treated. You were created in greatness, don’t accept anything less.
Instead of complaining about finances… evaluate where you are and change the situation. Is going back to school an option? Do you need to look for another job? Do you need a job? Do you need to set up a budget and get better control on your spending? You were created to have an abundant life, why are you struggling?
Instead of complaining about not having enough time… work on time management skills. Are you taking control of your time or allowing your time to take control of you? Do you find yourself being wasteful with your time? Are you lazy? Are you consumed with things you shouldn’t even be doing? Remember you are in control of your time – no one else.
Instead of complaining about life in general… realize you are the CEO of your life. You can promote as well as terminate anyone or anything you desire. Do you have individuals sitting in management positions but they should have received a pink slip? Are you giving benefits to individuals that should be on probation? Have you provided adequate training to your employees or are you just letting them do whatever they want to do?
Let’s face it, there is always something we CAN complain about. But there is also always something WE can do about it.
Instead of focusing on all the things we could complain about, how about taking the time to think about how different our lives could be if we stopped complaining and took the time to make the changes we desire.
Where you are is not your final destination! It’s just the chariot that will get you to the palace. ~Tina Bailey
You will never go forward constantly complaining about the situation. You must take matters in your own hands and change the things about your life that you don’t like. You are in complete control. So in honor of my grandmother – I LOVE my shoes.
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Nov 19, 2015 | Fear
When you think of a prisoner, most of the time you think of a person locked up because they have broken the law. You think of a criminal, a bad person. You think of a person “doing time for the crime”. But what if I told you, you are a prisoner?
Yes, YOU!!! Many of us have been imprisoned by our thoughts. Some are shackled to our past. While others are handcuffed by our lack of motivation and belief in our own abilities. We all have that image that appears in our minds when we think of a prisoner…. Looking between the bars, sad faced, hoping someone takes pity on them. Well are you that person? Are you looking through the bars wishing for more? Wishing for something to miraculously happen that would change your life?
Dreams don’t happen; they are created! ~Tina Bailey
You will remain bound to thoughts of your past or your previous failures as long as you allow it. At some point you must decide that enough is enough. YOU have to decide that I’ve been in this position long enough. At some point you have to decide to break the chains that hold you captive and push towards the things you really want in life.
In my book, What You’re Hiding is Hindering Your Blessings, I talked about how I felt this overwhelming need to be perfect. I was imprisoned by my desire for perfectionism. One of the most liberating things in this world, was the day I realized I didn’t have to be perfect in this imperfect world.
It’s time for a PRISON BREAK!!
Did you realize you could break free of the chains of your past? All you have to do is stop seeking permission from others to be who you truly desire to be. You don’t need permission to let your greatness shine. All you have to do is DO IT!! Your greatness is on the inside of you not on the outside. People don’t determine how great you can be – you do!
You will never know what you are capable of achieving, if you don’t at least attempt it. Regardless of what you think – no one expects you to be perfect. That’s a lie you have convinced yourself to be true. Those individuals that love you are going to love you regardless. Let me tell you one more secret–individuals that really care about you, want you to do the things that make you happy.
It’s time to for a prison break!! The good thing about this prison break – you don’t have to look over your shoulders expecting someone to put you back in “lock up”. The only one that can put the shackles back on you is YOU!!
Free your mind and the rest will follow!!!
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Oct 21, 2015 | Fear
Do you find yourself stressing over what someone has said or think about you? Do you feel a need to defend yourself to other people? Do people tend to take what you say out of content or change it to fit what satisfies their own agenda? Or maybe no one has ever asked you what you really meant by what you said. They made their own assumption and you find yourself having to clean it up.
STOP DOING THAT!!!
The assumptions people make about you is not your concern UNLESS what they assume is true. Let me start at the end and go back. If you have positioned yourself in a manner in which you give someone something to talk about – Stop!! The Bible says don’t let your good be evil spoke of. It also says don’t be a stumbling block for your brother (or sister). So if the problem is you – FIX IT!!!!
But when you know you haven’t done anything and people are still talking… let them talk. Proverbs 4:7 says in all your getting, get an understanding. Understand that people are going to talk. People live for drama. And most people would rather focus on a lie about you than deal with the truth about themselves. (tweet this)
But let them talk, that’s not your concern!!!
Growing up most of us was taught the 23rd Psalms. If you haven’t read it, please go do so. I’ll wait for you. There are many passages in the Bible that I like but “He prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies” is one of my favorites. This verse is saying that God will provide abundantly for me. He will make a 
table of plenty just for me. He will give me my hearts desires. He will take care of me. And then He will do it in front of my enemies. This says a lot… First that God loves me that much!!! Then realize there will always be people that don’t like you. (and that’s okay) You will never be able to please everyone. (and that’s okay) You are not exempt from having enemies. (and that’s okay) But more importantly, God will protect me from them and provide abundantly for me in spite of them. (Praise the Lord!!)
So don’t let the naysayers and busybodies that talk about you, mistreat you, or even misrepresent you, cause you to lose sight on what God has promised you. It is not your job to focus on them. It’s your job to focus on God and the assignment He has given you.
You see we all have enemies – I just call mine my motivators. They motivate me to be better. They motivate me to do better. They help me to seek God more. They make my prayer life more focused. My grandmother would always say… “They talked about Jesus. What makes you think they want talk about you?” So don’t get caught up what people say about you. Don’t get all bent out of shape because someone don’t like you. Instead pray for them. Love them and thank God for them. Because that means your table is going to be plentiful and beautiful because
God’s preparations are always over the top!!! (tweet this)
If you don’t get anything else from this blog post, remember you will always have enemies. But God loves you and will protect you from the snares of the enemy.
Until Next Time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Oct 7, 2015 | Abuse, Fear
The month of October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. So all month I will shared facts on my community page on Facebook Unhindered Blessings. If you aren’t a part of that community, please join it. Not only is that page about encouragement and motivation but it addresses the issues faced by women in today’s society.
Domestic Violence is defined as abuse suffered by a person that shares an intimate or family relationship with their abuser. It is where a person uses random and habitual acts of intimidation to control someone else. This is usually done repeatedly and becomes more and more sever over time.
Domestic Violence affects individuals from all walks of life. It does not discriminate. You can be black, white, rich, poor, young or old. You can be gay or straight. You could have grown up with both parents or in an orphanage, it really doesn’t matter. Anyone forced to change the way they act out of fear of upsetting someone else is usually in an abusive situation.
One of the hardest things in the world is to see someone you love being a victim of anything but abuse from someone they care about is extra hard. The other is to be a living through abuse and feeling that no one understands or cares. Well I’ve been in both situations. And yes it sucks!!!!
If you have a loved one in an abusive relationship, the best thing you can do for them is to be encouraging and non-judgmental. They are receiving enough of judgment and harrassment from their abuser. You also don’t want to give them a reason to isolate themselves from you. Listen to them but allow them to make their own choices. Be supportive but don’t be opinionated. It’s their life!!!
If you feel you are being abused or you are experiencing domestic violence, remember
- You are NOT to blame.
- You do NOT deserve to be mistreated.
- You are NOT alone.
- You have rights.
- There is help out there for you.
How do you get out?
Find someone you trust and tell them what is going on. I know it may be hard. You may feel embarrassed. You have been told that no one cares and that no one will believe you. You may have even tried to tell someone before and they didn’t believe you. Tell someone else!! Trust me the situation is not going to get better until you separate yourself from it.
If you feel your life is in jeopardy if you leave or tell someone, I understand that can be scary. But realize that you have to fight for yourself. That don’t always mean physically fight. You have to fight for your sanity and what you want. You can do this. I believe in you. No one deserves to be mistreated. No one deserves to be abused. No one deserves to be called names. No one deserves to feel less than. NO ONE!!!
Be wise. Make good choices. But remember you have choices. No one can take your choice away without you giving it to them. Here are some helpful resources:
Until Next Time,
Tina
etting them go the impact has changed. They have shown you in some way “who they are” and you’ve decided to make some adjustments.
