by Coach Tina | Dec 29, 2016 | Focus, Growth
The year is coming to an end and everyone is trying to figure out what their “New Year’s resolution” will be. Many will make a vow to lose weight. Others will want to stop a bad habit. Others will work on goals that grow them as a person – going to church more, reading the bible more, going back go school. Don’t get me wrong those are all GREAT things to want to accomplish and what better time to start than at the beginning of the year.
It’s customary to start the year off with a list of goals we want to accomplish but somewhere around February we get slack and by April we don’t even remember what we put on the list. Or we’ve become so frustrated because we haven’t accomplished the goals that we give up and say FORGET IT!! Don’t give up on yourself so easily. Your efforts were on point it was your method that didn’t quite work. Below are 5 reasons why New Year’s Resolutions don’t work and how to set goals that you can actually accomplish.
- They are too broad. We set goals that are very general like “I’m going to lose weight this year”. Well what does that really mean? Truthfully if you lose 1 pound, you’ve accomplished your goal. If you lose 50 pounds and gain it all back, you’ve accomplished your goal. We have to be more specific. Here is a better way to generate the results you are looking for – I will become more aware of my health and find ways to have fun while improving my health. Make small goals that help you stay on track and see progress. Set accountability points throughout the year to make sure you are on schedule. If you are great!! If you are not, readjust the plan and keep pushing. Just don’t give up on yourself.
- They are unrealistic. We set goals that are unrealistic. We resolve to read the bible every night before we go to bed. But… we don’t even own a bible. We are using the bible that Grandma had sitting on the table in the living room. You remember, the one we weren’t allowed to touch growing up. Trust me I’ve made that resolution before too and by the time I got through all the “begot this one and that one”, I was done. A better approach would be to go to the bible book store and find a bible that caters to your needs. There are many versions available and some really good study bibles. Another thing is to find a bible study that you enjoy. There are several online bible studies that focus on specific issues. You may even find a local women’s study group that can help you. Take baby steps. No one said you have to read the whole bible in January!
- There are too many goals. At the beginning of the year, we make all these goals we want to accomplish and before we know it we aren’t doing any of them. Decide what you really want to accomplish this year. Note: You should only have 2-3 goals at a time. These goals should be things that must be accomplished in order to move forward to other things. You don’t want to say I’m going to go back to school, get a good job, buy a house, start a family, etc. If the end result is to get established and start a family but you desire to go back to school to get that started, the first thing would be to decide what you want to study and what school you would like to attend. My grandmother would say it like this, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Don’t rush yourself or you will never take the first bite.” Decide what comes first and then make that happen.
- There’s no accountability. As many of you know I love my vision boards. I make one every year and post it on my wall where I can see it every day. Not only does it remind me of my goals for the year but it keeps me accountable to myself. Because “I am that girl”, I’ve learned what works for me. Not only do I place my board on my wall for me to see, I place it where my family can see it as well. Because I offer vision board parties every year, I take my current and past boards with me to these parties showing goals can be accomplished if you commit to them. ACCOUNTABILITY at the highest – you can’t sell something you haven’t bought!!!
- You’re not ready. Many people will make a resolution because it’s what they feel they “should do” or “what others are doing”. Just because you decide you want to lose weight is not a reason for me to want to lose weight. Just because you decide you need to go to church more does not mean I’m not happy with the relationship I have with God. If you aren’t ready to make the commitment needed to accomplish the goal then DON’T MAKE THE GOALl!! When you are really ready to make the change in your life it will be a part of you. You will own it. It will not be difficult. It may be challenging but it will not be difficult.
Basically, resolutions don’t work because for the most part they are not authentic. They don’t line up with what you really desire. They don’t provide you the accountability you need to make the changes and well, they provide you with a way out. Every one of us have made a “New Year’s resolution” at some point in our lives and we have all heard they don’t work – what a perfect excuse to not commit to the change!!!! Well, let’s make this year different! Let’s set goals we really want to accomplish. Let’s make ourselves accountable. Let’s commit to only the things we are ready to commit to. Remember you can be the best version of yourself but only when you are ready.
Until Next Time,
Have you signed up to host or attend a Vision Board Party? Now is the time! Make this year the year you accomplish everything you desire.Click here for more information.
by Coach Tina | Sep 9, 2016 | Focus, Growth
The words that came from your mouth set a fire inside of me. My first response was to lash back and demand that you see me. To demand that you hear me. To stand up for myself. To let you know it would not be tolerated. But soon I realized my words fell on deaf ears and regardless of what I said you were not going to hear it because you were caught up in your own feelings and mine really didn’t matter.
When a people lash out at you, don’t take it personal. They are coming from a place of need. The need to be heard, the need to be loved, the need to be accepted. If you are able to offer any of this, do so. If not, pray and ask God to help you be able to do so.
Growing up I was not one to fight, but I would use my words to combat and bring tears to those that hurt me. I was full of anger and anyone in my path could be subjected to it. As I grew into my adolescent years, the anger subsided and gave way to pain. I began looking to people to take the pain away. I believed that if I loved enough, gave enough of myself then in return I would get the same thing back and the pain would go away.
Well that didn’t happen, what I eventually learned was I had to love myself and then I could offer love from a place of abundance instead of a place of lack. When you find yourself unable to offer unconditional love, you need to find out why. The Bible gives a command to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44) and then it gives a promise if you do this “you may be children of your Father in heaven (Matthew 5:45).
I’m not saying in order to get to heaven you have to be subjected to abuse or mistreated but what I take these verses to say is, in order to have a chance of entering the pearly gates, you have to forgive those that mistreat you, love them and pray for them.
It’s hard to hate someone you pray for. It’s hard not to forgive someone you pray for. It’s hard to not love someone you pray for. Give it a try. Has someone mistreated you and you wanted to lash out at them or maybe you even did lash out at them? Stop what you are doing and pray for them. Not the vengeful pray that many are accustom to (God get them). NO!! Pray that God gives them the desires of their heart. Pray if anything is lacking in their heart, that it is fulfilled. Pray for their soul. Pray that God will use you to be a pray warrior for them.
You don’t have to be in the presence of a person to pray for them. All you have to do is be in a right relationship with God so He can hear the prayer you offer on their behalf. Now remember…. You can only truly offer love from an abundance. If you know there are things in you that aren’t right towards this person, ask God to clean you up first and then pray for them.
If this helped you at all, please leave a comment on my Facebook community page. I would love to hear your story. Don’t forget to share on social medial.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | May 5, 2016 | Encouragement, Focus, Growth
There are things in life that we can control and there are things in life that we cannot. The problem is we don’t always know the difference, at least I didn’t. I’ve always been the “fix-it” type person. You know, the one going to the extreme to fix every thing and every body. The one thinking if I don’t fix it, it won’t be right. The one thinking, no one is capable of fixing it but me.
One of the challenges associated with that title, was coming to the reality that I couldn’t fix everything. The other was accepting there were things outside of my ream of control. Yes, I said it and I can admit it! I struggle with control. (I find myself still wanting to control certain things-don’t judge me). For those that know me, it is no surprise but for some of you I’m sure you are on the edge of your seat, with your head in your hands, forcing yourself to see Tina Bailey as a control freak.
Okay, you can sit back in your chair. If you took the time and were honest with yourself, you would find, you are too. We all have a desire for things in our lives to work out. I mean who would go through life knowing something is wrong and do nothing about it? Who would have the ability to change something, and not change it? 
Let me whispers something to you — we do it every day.
You see there is one thing we ALL have the ability to change. There is one thing we have control in changing. However, because we have been told by so many, for so long, that we cannot change it, we do nothing about it. When we take a stand to make a difference in this area, we are labeled. When we seek to make this area better, we are often told we are wasting our time. Even when people see the changes, they point out the areas that are not changing.
What is that area? I’m glad you asked. We can change ourselves. We can make a better life for ourselves. We can work on ourselves. We can find ways to make ourselves better. We can take a stand for ourselves. But we don’t want to do that. We want to change everyone around us. We want to point out the things wrong with everyone else. We want to “fix” them.
We are being challenged today to do the most challenging thing of our lives. Take care of our own business. Realize that we all have issues. None of us are perfect. Yet God loves us in spite of it. Did you know when we stand for judgement, we will not be asked what we think about what someone else did. We will be judged according to our own transgressions. We will not be compared to another person. We will only be compared to the person we were when we vowed to make a change.
Realize this:
- We are not required to be perfect.
- We are required to make an intentional effort to do better.
- We are required to use the lessons we learned through our efforts to do better.
- We are required to not judge the imperfections of others.
- We are required to not justify our actions by the things we see others doing.
So in your efforts to “control” the situation, ask yourself – what am I trying to control? Is this something outside of my ream of control? Then pray – God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Apr 22, 2016 | Encouragement, Focus, Growth
Another one of America’s musical legends died this week. The death of Prince Roger Nelson seem to have taken the world by surprise. If you look over social media, you see so many different responses from sadness to anger. People are slipping into depression. Some are “demanding” answers as to how he died. While others are simply flooding the airwaves with his music. Whatever you need to do to cope with the death of this maestro, is completely fine and warranted.
Although I wasn’t a huge fan, I did enjoy his music. One of my favorite songs was “Purple Rain”. If I can be honest, I think it was the significant things that happened around the time the song came out. When the movie Purple Rain was released, my mom allowed me to go with my friends. This was the first time I had been able to go to the movies “alone”. Yeah, my brother was in the theater but he didn’t sit with us. So to me it was 
part of my history in the making!!!
Okay, sorry I digress. I was also excited about going to the movie hoping it would shine some light about what the song was really about because honestly I was confused. Okay, don’t act like I’m by myself on this one. Until that movie came out we all was trying to figure out – what in the world is Prince talking about?
The movie gave us all the impression that it was about his sexuality and the way he dealt with the controversies in his life. It also gave us the impression the song was about the love he had for some girl. Some even say he was releasing the woman he loved to live her life anyway she wanted and that he would always love her. Well, whatever you decide the song means to you is probably true. But I want to look at some things with you because I feel he was telling us all to find the “Purple Rain” in your life.
Let’s look at some of the words of the song…
I never meant to cause you any sorrow I never meant to cause you any pain I only wanted to one time to see you laughing I only wanted to see you laughing in the purple rain
Purple rain, Purple rain, Purple rain, Purple rain, Purple rain, Purple rain I only wanted to see you bathing in the purple rain
Honey, I know, I know I know times are changing It’s time we all reach out for something new, that means you too
Purple rain, Purple rain, I only want to see you in the purple rain
With all the hurt in the world. With all the controversies. This week a young girl lost her life because a group of her peers jumped her. History is being made with Harriet Tubman being added to the face of the $20 bill yet racism is at its all-time high. People are becoming bold with their disregard for God and sanctification. So what is this “purple rain”? I believe Prince was being very strategic with not only this song but with most of the songs he wrote. He was giving us a glimpse of what he saw to be the true demise of the world. It would be destroyed by the lack of willingness we have to love unconditionally.
In the first verse here says “it wasn’t meant to cause sorrow or pain”. Love should be the catalyst for bringing this world together but instead it is the love man has for his own desires that is tearing it further and further apart. Next, it says “times are changing and it’s time to reach for something new”. People don’t want to see change. They are stuck in the past and wanting things to remain the same. When he talks about “purple rain”, he is specific. He says he want to see the person “bathing” in purple rain. He wants to see the person “in” the purple rain. I believe the purple rain Prince was talking about was peace. A place of comfort. A place of refuge. A place where you are happy. And he didn’t want it to be a place you could go in and come out unchanged. When you are bathed in something you come out smelling like it. When you are in something, it becomes a part of you.
What is your “Purple Rain”? What is your place of solitude? How can you use this time to spread love instead of sorrow and pain? Will you be the change the world needs? Will you let the world see you “walking in the purple rain”??
Until Next Time
by Coach Tina | Mar 28, 2016 | Encouragement, Focus, Growth
You ever had those days where it seems you just can’t hear from God. You’ve prayed, you’ve fasted and then prayed some more. But nothing…. You want to say “Hey, is this mic on?”
Let me help you, my dear, God heard you! He heard you the first time, he heard you the second time and he heard you this time. And in most instances, He has given you the answer you just didn’t want to accept that answer. It wasn’t what you wanted to hear. You wanted something like “it’s not your fault” or “I’ll handle it” or “it’s on the way”. But what He said was “you ain’t ready for that” or “now is not the time” or “you need to stop doing that first”.
Listen so many of us have this image of God in His long, white robe, smiling, passing out blessings. We go to Him with our hands outstretched expecting an immediate answer to the problem we have been holding on to for years. I have a question. Why didn’t you go to God before it became a problem? Why didn’t you ask His thoughts when it was just a thought in your mind? I’ll tell you… because it was what you wanted to do. It felt right. It felt good.
You see that’s the problem with sin. Sin keeps you trapped by making you feel good. If it didn’t feel good, who would want to do it? If it wasn’t appealing, who would stay in it? I’ve never known a person to remain in any situation that wasn’t offering some type of benefit. But don’t you realize every benefit is not a good benefit.
Okay, I’m off my soapbox but let’s be real, we have to put in some work to get what we want in this life. The bible says “I come that you may have life more abundantly”.(John 10:10) Okay, let’s break that down. But first let’s go back to the beginning of the verse – The enemy comes but to steal, kill and destroy. The enemy’s plan is to strip you of your hopes, of your dreams, of your desires. He wants to leave you with nothing. And he will use anyone willing to help in his scheme.
But God says oh no, I come that you may have life more abundantly. God is saying the life you desire, I want more than that for you. I want the best for you. I want you to have more than you can hope for. More than you can dream possible. More than you could ever desire. He says you see I knew you when you was in your mother’s womb. I have plans for you!!!
Now what that abundant life looks like to me may be different than what it looks like to you. And I guarantee what it looks like to us is different than it looks to God. You see God has a plan for you. And anything you place in your life that will hinder you from accomplishing that goal will not be comfortable and will not lead you to the abundance you desire. So when you go to God asking for something and you don’t get the answer you desire… ask yourself “is this request helping me with the plan God has for my life or will it be a distraction?” If you are continuously praying for something and feel you haven’t received an answer, maybe you need to accept He may be waiting for you to line up with His plan.
God is faithful and loving AND He really wants to bless you. But you have to position yourself to receive the blessings. Don’t ask God for that man that belongs to someone else. Don’t ask God to clear up your debt when you are constantly purchasing unnecessary things. Don’t ask God for a new job when you don’t go to the one you have on time. Don’t ask God for a new car when you don’t take care of the one you have. But more importantly, God isn’t concerned with your stuff. Stuff will come and go. I guarantee anyone that has left this earth could care less about the ‘stuff’ they left. God is concerned with your soul and what you are doing to be a witness of Him to those He place in your path. All of us may never enter a pulpit – some will never even go into a church. But the life you live before those in your circle will be a testimony of what God is doing in your life. Your life can be an example of the abundance the bible talks about. The way you love unconditionally. The way you help those that can’t help themselves. The way you forgive. The way you smile just because there is peace and joy on the inside. You see that is the abundant life that He has for you – peace and joy! Not stuff!
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Jan 7, 2016 | Focus, Growth
Have you ever felt that you were being picked on? It seemed as if every time you turned around something else was happening. It seemed every time you took one step forward something pulled you back two steps. Have you ever just wanted to give up? Felt like you just couldn’t take any more. Those are all tricks and schemes of the enemy to keep you from accomplishing the assignment placed on your life.
To whom much is given, much is required. Luke 12:48
You see if the enemy can get your focus off your assignment not only will your blessings be hindered but the blessings of those you are assigned to help will be hindered as well. This year is going to be that year where you will see miracles upon miracles. This year will be the year everything the enemy stole from you will be replaced with interest. This year will be the year your assignment will become clear and your blessings will manifest in ways God intended for you.
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. James 1:12
But you have to be in position to receive it!! You have to be ready. You must be willing to go through the process. The problem is many of us don’t trust the process. We feel it don’t take all of that. We feel it’s too hard. We feel we don’t deserve to be tested. We feel there must be another way. Sure there may be another way but I guarantee doing it God’s way will provide a better outcome.
There is a way which seems right unto a man, but it ends in death. Proverbs 14:12
You must trust the process. It was not a coincidence that certain people were removed from your life last year. People who you thought would be there until the end and all of a sudden they were gone. It just didn’t seem fair. You really “needed” them. But were you putting them before God? Where you putting them before your assignment? Would they have hindered your assignment? Would your relationship with God be developing the way it is if they were still in your life? You see God loves you and will never withhold anything good from you. But he will make sure you are ready for it before He gives it to you. You cannot go about doing things your way and expect the blessings of God to be on your life. It don’t work like that.
The Lord disciplines those He loves. Proverbs 3:12
So when you find yourself constantly “back-paddling”. When it seems things are not going the way you desire. When the mountain seem more than you can handle, ask yourself “Am I in position?” “Am I doing things my way or God’s way?” “Is this a part of the process or am I off course?” I promise if you get in line with God, not only will you be able to deal with the trials placed before you, you will find a peace that surpasses all understanding. Blessings will flow and miracles will manifest. Trust the process. God has nothing but good intentions for you and your life.
Until Next Time,
Tina
