by Coach Tina | Aug 20, 2015 | Growth
I will be the first to admit that I don’t do everything right and there are times that I find myself judging others. In fact, I probably have a tendency of doing more things wrong than I do right. Another fact is I probably judge more than I would like to admit. But I’m so thankful for grace and mercy.
Anyone that knows me, know I love quotes and get inspired by them. Well, here is one for you.
“Anyone can find the dirt on someone, but very few can wipe it from their own shoes.” ― Shannon L. Alder
It’s so easy to find the wrong in other people but struggle to find our own faults. But if we are honest with ourselves, the faults we see in others, symbolizes the things in ourselves that we don’t like or the things in life that we wish we could have. So instead of passing judgement on others, try looking at yourself and ask why does this really bother me? Could it be that you are a bit jealous of what you see? Could it be that you wish you were more like that person? We have to get out of this thing of judging others. The fact is, we don’t know what it took for that person to be where they are right now nor do we know what they have to do to maintain where they are right now.
We also need to realize we are capable of having anything we desire but we have to put in the work to achieve it. Many times we want the fame, the hype, the status but we don’t want the pain and struggle that go with it. Okay, here is another quote for you.
“Most people like mirrors; what they do not like, is people, who are mirrors.” ― Justin K. McFarlane Beau
I’ve always been one to shy away from mirrors because I didn’t like the reflection that stared back at me. But the truth of the matter the person staring back at me was ME and what I didn’t like was what that person symbolized. There was a time I looked at that reflection and saw all the hurt and pain. I saw weakness and lack. It was a picture of everything I didn’t like about myself. But instead of working on what I didn’t like, I would look to find someone else to blame for what I was feeling. But the truth is that hurt and pain was there because I allowed it to be there. When you see things in others that you don’t like is it because it reflects what you don’t like in yourself. Have you ever said “she is selfish”? That’s a judgement you don’t know what that person is really feeling or why they are doing what they are doing. But could it actually be that you have selfish tendencies and God is showing you a reflection so you can change it. What about “she thinks she’s cute”? Could it be that you are jealous of the confidence she has and wish you could have just a little of that for yourself? When you find yourself passing judgement, ask yourself “what is this bringing up inside of me that I feel a need to criticize my brother or my sister?” It’s easier to see fault or character flaws in others but hard to see them in ourselves; therefore sometimes God has to show us a reflection to get our attention of the things He need us to get rid of.
Until next time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Aug 13, 2015 | Forgiveness, Growth
I have a confession to make. I’ve had my struggles with issues that required me to offer forgiveness and well my confession is I didn’t do so well. Are you really forgiving if you don’t forget? I’ve always been that person to say you can forgive without forgetting because forgetting sets you up for it to happen again. Well… that may be true BUT holding on to the thoughts of what happened keeps you stuck in the pain of what was done to you.
There are super saints out there that have no problem forgiving AND forgetting when people mistreat them or do them wrong. I have to admit I am NOT one of them but I’m praying that God will help me to truly forgive and forget the things and/or people that have hurt my feelings in the past.
Forgetting the wrong doings of others can be a hard assignment but with dedication and commitment I believe it can be done. What helps me is to remember, I want to be forgiven and I even want my flaws and mishaps to be forgotten. How can we expect others to do for us what we are not willing to do for them?
But how do you forget?
- Memories have a way of just popping up. If a memory occurs, take a deep breath and remember you are in control of your thoughts. You have the ability to make them anything you want them to be.
- Be real with yourself. Ask “Did something happen to retrigger that thought?” Many times memories are triggered by the strangest things. We are like onions sometimes we cannot deal with all of the situation at one time and we need to handle it piece by piece. If that is the case deal with your feelings but don’t dwell in your feelings.
- Realize you have an option. You can continue to allow this situation or thought to control you or you can control it. Ask yourself “Is this worth getting upset over?” “Do I really want to deal with this now or can I move on?”
- Then decide how you will deal with the memory. As I said you are in control of your thoughts and your decisions. If you choose to put the memory aside and not allow it to upset you – forgetting has begun. If you choose to allow it control you and take over your thoughts – you need to work on forgiving because there is still some issues there.
I told you forgiving and forgetting requires work and dedication but I believe that we are more than capable of putting in the work to master the task and to grow to be our BEST!
Until next time,
Tina
by Coach Tina | Aug 7, 2015 | Growth
I am one of those individuals that cringe when I make a mistake. I feel as if I haven’t done my best if someone can point out a mistake. I have found myself going over something to the point that it becomes redundant and mundane and will discard it all together. I have found myself wanting to make it perfect of error, content and feeling only to find that it has lost its feel and purpose.
That’s what happens to our lives when we seek to be perfect in the eye of man. You were created in perfection but not required to be perfect. Many times we get so caught up in doing the “perfect” thing or “being” the perfect person that we lose sight of who we are and what we were called to do in this world.
“Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Matthew 5:48
Many would assume by that scripture, we are called to be perfect. Well in a way we are but not how you think!! We have to look at the actual meaning of the word intended in this scripture verses our everyday use of the word in order to get a clear understanding of what we are being told.
Webste
r defines perfect as to “make something completely free from faults or defect or as close to such a condition as possible”. Whereas in this scripture the definition is “to be complete or finished”. So this scripture is actually saying “Be complete, therefore, as your heavenly Father is complete. But what does that actually mean? It means that you have to surrender your will to God and allow Him to make you into what he created you to be in the first place. Whether you use Webster’s definition or the biblical definition; when you submit your will to Him, then and only then can you be anywhere near perfect.
You can never be free of fault or defect doing things on your own. Before you were born there was a purpose set forth in the atmosphere for you to complete (perfect) but without the instruction and guidance from the one that created you, you will NEVER be able to complete the task.
Here’s one more scripture for you to look at:
“My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
Again this scripture shows that we can only be perfect (complete or free from fault or defect) except by grace. Now this of course is my belief system. But let’s just say you don’t believe that God’s grace will sustain you and you don’t believe there is power in weakness. We’ve all encountered a person that know something about everything. If you’re like me you tend to run from that type of person especially if you can’t see the evidence of what they proclaim to know happening in their own lives. That’s the same thing with our own perfection. When you proclaim to be perfect and know everything you are actually telling people that you don’t need their help. And most people will allow you the opportunity to handle it yourself. But when you ask for help, accepting that you don’t have the answer and are not perfect in a certain area, people are more apt to assist you and help you find the answer you desire. So in your weakness (or lack of knowledge) you are made perfect or complete (through the help of others).
Never cringe or give up because you didn’t do something perfect. Take the time to learn from it therefore moving to a better understanding of the task. Ultimately it’s called GROWTH!!!
One of the most liberating things I’ve learned is to know I don’t have to be perfect in this imperfect world. Just be consistent and faithful.
~insert from “What Your Hiding is Hindering Your Blessings”
by Coach Tina | Aug 3, 2015 | Fear
“Unless we take that first step into the unknown, we will never know our own potential!” ― Allan Rufus
Fear has a way of holding you hostage and preventing you from being the BEST YOU!! Sometimes the fear can be so intense that it seems as if it has grabbed you by the throat, pinned you up against the wall and held tight until you finally surrender to the retrain.
When I was younger, I would have sever anxiety attacks. I can remember one particular day, we visited a rest home and I was asked told to sing a song before the minister spoke. For those of you that don’t know me, realize there are certain things I hate and surprises are at the top of the list. There was no warning, there was no practice and it seemed that the words to every song I’d ever know had disappeared from my memory. I began to panic. I began to sweat profusely. My breathing became very shallow and I was convinced that everyone could see my heart beating through my shirt. I was terrified. But I was a people pleaser and didn’t want to disappoint anyone. So I stepped up in front of the group, wiped my hands on my pants leaving a large handprint on the front of my jeans. Took a deep breath and some words began to come out of my mouth. I can’t for the life of me remember the song I sang that day (probably something I made up). All I know is I wanted the moment to be over and I wanted it over IMMEDIATELY! After what seemed like a lifetime, a fragile little old lady came over to me and said “you have such beautiful voice. And when you don’t allow God to use you, you are preventing others from experiencing His love and power”. Wow I never thought that my fear would hinder others.
When you give into your own fears you are holding yourself back from being a blessing to other people. Yes!!! I will be the first one to admit I still HATE surprises but I’m learning to be obedient to what I’m asked to do because I never know who will be helped by the things I do. I had to come to grips with where that fear was really coming from. I feared being judged, being made fun of, not being perfect, not being like everyone else. But then I had to realize 
I’m not required to be like anyone else. I’m required to be ME!!
What has fear kept you from accomplishing in your life? What are the real reasons you shy away from doing something new? Until you come to grips with the real causes of your fears, they will always have a place in your life and keep you from accomplishing your goals.
Here are some things to think about when you find yourself paralyze by fear:
- What am I really afraid of? Many times we lack confidence in ourselves. Maybe someone have said you couldn’t do something and you believed it. Maybe you’ve failed in the past (you’re stronger now, you’re a different person now).
- What is the worst thing that can happen? One thing I’ve learned is just because I try something new, it does not obligate me to do it for the rest of my life. If I find that I don’t like the new experience, I mark it off my bucket list and move on.
- What opportunities am I withholding from myself by not doing this? When you allow fear a place in your life, it prevents you from moving to the next level. The place you are in right now is just a stair step to where you are destined to be but you can never move forward if you allow fear to keep you in bondage.
- Will I have regrets if I let this moment pass by? You will never know if you enjoy something until you try it!! And the worst thing you can ever do is to wake up one day with regrets about not doing something. Take a chance and do something new. You might like it!
Never allow fear to keep you from becoming the BEST YOU!! You deserve to be happy and it all begins with you.
by Coach Tina | Jul 30, 2015 | Focus
Storms of life will come! While in the mist of them it may seem like it will never end. The wind, the rain, the continued turmoil, destruction all around but God!!
There have been many storms that have come through this area. Ones where the wind blew so hard that I was sure the house was going to come off of its foundation. The thunder was so loud that my body trembled from the sound. The lightening so bright if looked upon could blind you for a split moment. But after it was all over this amazing 
peace seemed to take over and all stood still in the calmness.
That’s the way life can do you. Everything seems to be in complete disarray. You feel tossed by circumstances, shakened by the loudness of all the issues and blinded by the things you see transpiring and it seems it will never end. But God!! He steps in and says Peace be still! And you realize that you are still standing and everything around you that really matters is still in place. It’s an overwhelming feeling of peace, of gratitude, of safety. It’s in that moment that you realize that there is safety in the arms of the Lord!
Regardless of what you go through in this life, regardless of how strong the winds may seem to blow, how bright the lightening, how loud the thunder stand firm on the word that God will never leave you nor forsake you! If He brings you to the storm He is faithful enough to bring you through it. The trials in life come to make you stronger.
I encourage you to go through your storm realizing that God has his loving arms around you and He will protect you. There is safety there. It may seem like the storm will never end but rest assured that God’s hands are upon you and He will not let anything happen to you! Some storms come through to destroy those things that could have destroyed you. So view them as necessary! Something that was bound to happen. Then sit back and count your blessings that you are still here to witness the calm after the storm! Until next time be blessed
