by Coach Tina | Oct 12, 2017 | Abuse, Fear
Is there a difference? I would say NO!! But I would be wrong!
The two terms are often used interchangeably but there really is a difference. To be termed Domestic Violence, an act must occur where physical violence has been used to coerce, control, intimidate or manipulate a person whom you have been or are currently in a relationship with into doing something they don’t have a desire to do. Domestic Abuse is used in the same relationships for the same reasons but it may or may not include physical abuse and the physical abuse would not be considered violent from those on the outside looking in. 
Okay now that I have explained what the “textbook or legal” difference is between the two, I will add that I think it’s a bunch of crap (yes, I typed something else but remembered my mom may read this and I don’t want to offend her).
Here is the thing – VIOLENT OR NOT – ABUSE is ABUSE! In most cases, before an abuser inflicts physical abuse, they have already inflicted other forms of abuse – emotional or mental, verbal, financial, spiritual. Before they inflict a violent force, there has already been some type of nonviolent physical abuse, a push here a shove there. They have given the victim abused a reason to believe if they don’t adhere to the request, a more severe punishment may occur. Abusers thrive off the fear of their victim. But the abused must base whether it’s considered Domestic Violence or Domestic Abused on what someone else believes it to be. Now that makes me mad!!!
As a survivor of Domestic Violence, I have used the words interchangeable (but I can admit now it was because of my own shame of admitting to the abuse). I felt if I called it domestic abuse it wouldn’t sound so horrible when I forgave it and stayed in it. If I called it domestic abuse no one would know how severe it was. If I called it domestic abuse maybe it would go away. If I called it domestic abuse it would just insinuate there may have been a little yelling here or there. If I called it domestic abuse I would “save face” – mine and his.
Regardless if you call it Domestic Violence or Domestic Abuse. Regardless why you call it what you call it. Regardless if the abuser hits you or yells at you. Regardless if they quote scripture or yell curse words at you. Regardless if they give you an allowance or forbid you to touch the account. IT IS ABUSE! And because it is between individuals who are or where in an intimate (emotional) relationship it’s called DOMESTIC!! Regardless it MUST STOP!!
This is a very sensitive topic and I of all people am very aware how it can be a trigger to many. When I write about it, I am reminded of the pain I felt, the shame I felt, the guilt I felt but then I am reminded that I SURVIVED!!! I’m reminded that I got out! I’m reminded that my past does not defined my destiny!
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Aug 17, 2017 | Bible Challenge
Psalm 10:16-18
Babies are trusting. They haven’t been corrupted by society and sin.
Children are resilient. Even though they have been exposed to bad behaviors, if caught in time, the
effects can be altered.
Adults; however, because of society, personal behaviors and hardheartedness, tend to lose hope in the world, self even God.
Yet this passage reminds us that God gives strength to the humble and the oppressed. When it seems, He’s turned His eye to all the horrible things going on in the world, remember God sees all and He will vindicate and obtain justice. I wish I had the answers to why things were the way they are. I wish I could make us all get along. I wish I could do away with pain, abuse, and any other misconduct. I wish I could but I can’t. But I believe God will. He will take care of those that are inflicting it and those who are enduring it. We must believe that. It is that belief that will give you strength to continue. That belief will give us strength to keep going. The Lord is King forever and ever! He reigns!
Let’s seek God and trust Him to see us through the turmoil.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Aug 16, 2017 | Bible Challenge, Focus
It seems things are getting worse when it comes to all the hate and anger in the world. There has always been racism but it was more covert. People say they are standing up for their rights but in my opinion, people are just showing who they really are. It’s so easy to blame this person or that group for what we are experiencing, yet easier to dismiss how we are contributing to it. DISCLAIMER: If you don’t want to be honest stop reading now!
You may not be racist but you haven’t stood up to fight for those who are being mistreated.
You may not be displaying anger but you are harboring hate and anger in your heart. 
You may not be choosing your friends because of the color of their skin but do you look down on the homeless person laying on the street.
You may go to church but you are passing judgement on the woman who walked in with sunshades attempting to cover a black-eye.
You buy your kids name brand clothes but have you taught them not to bully the little girl that comes in with holes in her shoes.
You might post scriptures and prayers on social media (or share mine) but have you stopped and prayed for the person that looks different from you.
Your cabinets may be full but have you dropped food off at the food bank for those who can’t afford grocery this week.
Psalms 28 is about calling out to God and Him hearing your prayers. But what are you praying? Are you focusing the attention on what you need instead of where you can serve? Are you asking for more when you aren’t appreciative of what you already have? God is faithful and He will take care of your needs! But maybe it’s time for you to help take care of the needs of others. Remember: Focusing your attention on the problems of others, requires you to take the focus off of your own. Don’t quit! There is too much work to do.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Aug 10, 2017 | Bible Challenge
Psalm 27:1-5
The LORD is my light and my salvation whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life of whom shall I be afraid When the wicked advance against me to devour me, it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; 
though war break out against me, even then I will be confident. One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.
A desire to quit comes from a defeated mindset; a defeated mindset comes when we feel we won’t win; feeling we won’t win comes from fear. What’s got you scared? What’s got you on the run? What has you shaking in your boots? If you say God is your light ad your salvation, you are saying God will provide direction. God will save me. Do you believe that? I mean really believe that? Is God the stronghold in your life? Do you trust Him to take care of your enemies? Then where is the defeated mindset coming from? Your enemy and many times that enemy is ourselves, our mind, our beliefs, our thoughts. Push them aside. You are victorious! You will win! Because God’s Got You!
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Aug 9, 2017 | Bible Challenge
Joshua 1:7-9
But you must be strong and brave about obeying the commands my servant Moses gave you. If you follow his teachings exactly, you will be successful in everything you do. Always remember what is written in that book of law. Speak about that book and study it day and night. Then you can be sure to obey what is written there. If you do this, you will be wise and successful in everything you do. Remember, I commanded you to be strong and brave. Don’t be afraid, because the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Anyone that knows me will tell you I am directionally challenged. So, if you want me to follow your directions, make sure you are specific. Give landmarks as well as street names. Give functional directions like “if you go pass the blue house, you’ve gone too far”. I need all of that. I was so glad to get a car with GPS in it! The litt
le voice saying “recalculating” or “make a U-turn when possible” is my friend!
The bible is the GPS system for getting through life’s ups and downs. God gave specific directions. He gave landmarks. He even gave functional directions. Don’t believe me. Look at vs 7 – “if you follow the directions, you will be successful in everything you do” “if you study the book, you will be more likely to obey what is there”, “if you do what is written, you will be wise”. Hmm seems very specific to me and very functional. My favorite part is “God will be with me everywhere I go”!
When you find yourself off track, lost, unsure of which way to turn, STOP ask yourself did follow directions? Be honest! You did it your way, didn’t you? You thought you knew what was best. It’s okay just get back on track and do it HIS way. Get back on right path and watch success become your best friend.
Until Next Time,
#dontquit #sistertalk #biblechallenge
