It happened just like that… sitting here minding my own business and he jumps in my inbox! This fine specimen of a man. Fine is a bit of an understatement. He is gorgeous! Carmel brown, nice trimmed beard, balled head, full lips, beautiful smile, 6 feet tall, muscular body, Master’s degree, management, loves to travel, looking a woman to spoil…. Yes baby, here I AM! And then the ball drops! He has a 5-year-old daughter that lives with him! I know! I feel the exact same way….. pure disappointment!!
Why is God playing with my emotions? And no, I’m not sharing his profile with any of y’all! If I can’t date him y’all ain’t either! Cause then I will have to come hang out at your house just to see him! LOL
Boundaries are never easy! But one of mine as I entertain the idea of dating with purpose, is not dating anyone with young kids. Having spent the last 31 years of my life responsible for the daily needs of someone, I have decided I need a break from any type of “child rearing”. I’ve also determined my butt is spoiled. I have NEVER thought about my need to be loved, appreciated, cherished or made a priority as spoiled. But it IS! First step is admittance! I also never thought those things were at the top of my list of needs, but they are! I NEED those things and I want them from a man that can give them to me without restriction. So, I had to be honest with myself – my needs are probably not going to be met by a man with a young child especially one that he has full custody of. So, the boundary was set! But whew baby! Let me go look at that picture one more time…
Do you have areas in your life that you NEED to set some boundaries around? Here are some signs you lack boundaries.
- You find yourself making too many grand sacrifices for others at your own expense
- You feel guilty when others aren’t happy (as if it’s you’re responsible for their happiness)
- You say “yes” when you want to say “no”
- You feel guilty for dedicating time to yourself
- You feel others take you and/or your time for granted
- You are out of touch with your needs
- You are concerned about what other people think of you
- You attract people that are emotionally unavailable, controlling or domineering
I see you nodding your head! You are NOT alone. Most women do not have good boundaries! We have been conditioned to cater to the needs of others. From day one we were taught to care for someone else before we cared for ourselves. Think about when you were introduced to a baby doll. You were told, “here is your baby. Make sure you take care of her”.
Well now it’s time to take care of you. What do you need? What do you desire? What do you deserve? If you are having problems setting boundaries, please reach out I would be glad to work with you.
Now let me look at this picture one more time and delete this profile. No need to have a temptation staring in my face!
Until Next Time,
