by Coach Tina | Jul 3, 2017 | Encouragement, Fear, Focus, Growth
About a month ago, I started a conversation on Facebook called #sistertalk. It’s an opportunity for women to help each other through those difficult moments and provide strength where needed. A real opportunity for HELP (honesty, encouragement, loyalty and prayer). Yet, there is something bothering me about it. It’s not the other women, it’s ME!
For years, I struggled with how people viewed me and there are still certain areas in my life I’ve kept hidden behind my mask. But I feel a tug to find the strength to push those insecurities away and allow myself to be a little more transparent. But there are some things on my chest that I need to get off. Maybe you can help me. You see I don’t understand –
• if a woman says she is going through, her faith is questioned.
• if it appears that all is ALWAYS alright, she’s a fake or unapproachable.
• If she tells the truth about what she’s going through, she’s complaining.
• If she asks for help, she’s being weak.
• If she cries, she’s told to get tougher skin.
• If she exposes the reality behind those tears, she’s being petty.
• If she speaks of the abuse she encountering, she’s told to keep her business her business.
• But if she is killed by her abuser everyone wants to know why she didn’t speak up.
• If she gets tired of being mistreated and make changes, she’s not a real Christian because a real Christian will allow you to do whatever you want to them and forgive you in Jesus name.
I’m so tired of trying to figure out the “correct” or “Christian” thing to do. When every day I am approached by women living a life of pain, thinking something is wrong with them because they believe all those lies listed above. They have convinced themselves that no one else is experiencing this kind of pain. When the truth is most of the women in their circle is covering up some form of pain, they just don’t know how to express it or are afraid of what people will say.
I am a Christian saved by grace. I love God with all my heart. I’ve been mad at God. I’ve turned my back on God. I said I was through with religion (and I am- just give me the relationship). I couldn’t understand how a God that loved me could allow so much pain to enter the heart of one person. But slowly and strategically God showed me it was not to destroy me. It was not to kill me. The pain I was experiencing wasn’t even about me. My testimony would be used to HELP other woman who were afraid to tell truth. Who didn’t understand that His love was unconditional and would never go away. My story would help those women who get up every day and put on a mask to cover up the shame and guilt they feel behind the actions of someone else. My honesty would give others permission to be honest.
I’ve been at this place before where I’ve felt God tugging at me to speak the truth and fear took over. It is my desire to move forward this time because although the fear is still there, I am courageous and encouraged by those women who haven’t found their courage yet. She needed a hero so she became one.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Mar 14, 2017 | Fear
I can usually find comfort in the Word of God. But the other day a friend sent me the scripture Romans 8:28 – “for we know all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called for according to His purpose”.
My first thought was thank you because I knew it was being sent from a place of love. But it was my next thoughts that screamed loudly in my ear. “What good can come out of this mess?” then I went to a dark place and said “maybe I’m not called according to His purpose. Maybe I’m not as much of His child as I thought I was or He wouldn’t have allowed me to go throu
gh this AGAIN!”
It was then that I felt the precious arms of God wrap around me and I knew He really was working it out for my good. I knew that He has called me for His purpose. But most importantly He knows that I love Him and I know He loves me.
Sometimes you can go through something so severe that it shatters everything you believe and even some of the things you know. It can leave you in pieces with no hope of repair. But that’s when God can do His best work!!! When you “think” you have it all together and you are taking care of things yourself, it ties God’s hands and He is unable to show you how this can work for your good. But when you are at the point of hopelessness and brokenness, God can reach down and shower you with all His glory.
The hard part is believing that He’s there – even in those dark and scary places. But remember He promised to never leave you nor forsake you. He promised to stick closer than a brother. He promised to be a father to the fatherless, mother to the motherless. He promised and I believe His promises. Do you?
Have you tied the hands of God by trying to work it out yourself? Maybe it’s time to give it to the One who can do the impossible. Maybe it’s time to let Him show you how He is working it out for your good!
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Feb 28, 2017 | Fear, Growth
Although very transparent in some areas, I am very private in others. I don’t share things that hurt me because I’ve been taught that people use your weaknesses against you. I’ve also been taught never let them see you sweat and definitely don’t let them see you cry.
Well this morning was hard! And I really didn’t care who saw me cry. I didn’t care who gain knowledge from my weaknesses. And I didn’t care if they tried to use them against me. It was important to me that God heard my cry and that He understood my pain. Sometimes
you have to get to the point you don’t care who is around you. You don’t care who sees you. You don’t care if you get ugly. Sometimes you just have to lay before the Lord and cry out to God for help.
In the midst of my tears, God reassured me that He was there. He reassured me that He never left me. He gently rocked me in His arms and helped me to see that all would be okay. As I wiped my face and collected myself, I heard a bird chirping outside of my window. What an awesome reminder of His love and mercies!!
Even in the midst of the storm, God will send a reminder of His presence.
I’m reminded of the Bible story where Jesus was in the boat with the disciples and it began to storm. The disciples looked around and found Jesus asleep. They woke him up and asked if He cared that they may drown in the storm. Jesus stood up and said “Peace be still” and a peace came over the ocean and the storm faded away – just like that!!! Jesus then looked at the disciples and said “What are you afraid of? Do 
you have any faith?”
When things around you are chaotic, it’s very easy to “walk in fear instead of faith”. And even easier to forget that God is right there with you. Do I view the disciples different because they were afraid? Nope! Do I view you different when you are afraid? Nope! And I don’t look at myself different when I am afraid! Yes, God did not give us the spirit of fear. He has instructed us to lean NOT on our own understanding. There are many mentions in the Bible where we should TRUST HIM! So if I’m afraid does that mean I’m not trusting Him. I don’t think so. I think it is an indication I may have taken my eyes off of Him and placed them on my situation. It may be an indication I have begun to look at the size of my storm instead of the size of my God. It may be an indication it’s time to pray a little more. But it DOES NOT mean I lack trust in Him.
Does my fear mean I don’t have faith? Does it mean I don’t trust God? Nope, it means I am human!
The enemy would want you to think if you are afraid it shows a lack of faith. The enemy would want you to believe if you are going through a storm then you must have done something wrong. The enemy would even have you believe going through a storm means God has walked away from you. NONE of these things are true. Truth is God loves you and is concerned with every aspect of your life. Truth is some storms come in our lives to build our Faith. The Truth is God is always right there with you. Stop allowing the enemy to hold you captive to your thoughts. He is a coward and has no authority. You, on the other hand, were fearfully and wonderfully made. You were hand-picked for a time such as this. You have power over the enemy and his schemes because you, my dear, are a child of the KING!!!
So the next time you are afraid and feel as if everything around you is chaotic, stop and do an assessment. What has my attention? Who has my attention? Have I asked God for help? Am I listening to His instructions? You see regardless of what you go through; God is ALWAYS there! But if you listen to the sounds of the storm, you may miss His voice. It just takes His small, still voice to calm the storm around you.
Until Next Time
by Coach Tina | Feb 1, 2017 | Encouragement, Fear
Do you have desires and dreams but you are afraid to pursue them? Do you live your life in your “comfort zone” out of fear of failing? Do you find yourself wrestling with whether or not to do something you’ve never done before? You my dear could be battling with your “COURAGE” and it’s winning!
I’m sure most of you have heard the story of Jesus walking on water. In case you haven’t you can read about it here (Matthew 14:22-33). In the meanwhile, here is a paraphrase of what happened. Jesus told the disciples to get in the boat and to go to the other side of the lake while he went to pray. While he was praying the boat drifted away from the land and Jesus had to walk on the water to get to the disciples. When they saw Him they got scared, thinking he was a ghost. He told them to not be afraid. Peter said if it’s really you let me come to you. Jesus said come on. Peter began walking on the water towards Jesus until he looked around, saw the wind and the waves, got scared and began to sink. Jesus reached out grabbed his hand, and asked why did you have doubt? Why did you get scared? Then he sat with the disciples in the boat and they realized Jesus really was the Son of God. Whew!!!
Okay, let’s talk about the courage thing and why I chose this scripture as a reference. I hear people talk about how they have all this courage and they aren’t afraid of anything. And the real “super-saints” quickly quote the scriptures about how God did not give you a spirit of fear or how we shouldn’t be afraid because God is always with us. AND all of that is true. God is always with us and He did NOT give us a spirit of fear but just like with Peter, when He saw his doubt He reached and helped him and he will do the same for us. He knows what we need way before we know ourselves.
So one night I was lying in bed, because that’s when I get most of my ideas for my blogs, and a thought came to my mind. What keep people from doing the things that make them happy? What is one of the main things they need in order to move from their comfort zone into a space of abundance? COURAGE!!! They need courage! We need courage!!! Then I said what is courage and this is what came to mind…
Confidence, Opportunity, Understanding, Reason, Attitude Check, Guidance and Expectation!!! I didn’t understand it then, but as I’ve began looking deeper it’s getting clearer. I go will go into full detail on my community Facebook page so if you are not following me there please do so (make sure you press like and make a comment on at least two post so you will be notified when I post).
But here we go! Courage is the ability to do something even if it frightens you. Many people stay stuck in situations because of fear. They struggle with their courage. Don’t get it twisted – I struggle with my courage often. In fact, I had to make a big decision just recently and it was my courage or the lack thereof that kept me in limbo for almost a year! Yea, you saw that right! It took me a year to make this decision and to stick with it. So don’t think for a moment that you are alone. Anyone that tells you they don’t struggle at times is LYING to you!! One of my biggest challenges (fears) is doing videos. Although I get the most feedback from them, they scare me. It’s crazy I can speak to groups of hundreds and although nervous, I’m not fearful. I think it’s with a live audience I can gage how things are going and make corrections if needed but with a video recording, it’s out there for the world to see without any correction. But I’m jumping out on faith and I’m going to do some recording (starting with this topic)! Y’all pray for your girl! Okay, that was one of Tina’s bunny trails.
I was in limbo for a year until I mastered how to beat my courage at her own game. I straddled up and I went to battle. That’s when I began to break down the bible story of Jesus walking on water. Check this out. 
Confidence: I imagine it took at least little confidence for Peter to even step out of the boat and to think he could walk on water. And it took even more for him to call on Jesus to help him when he began to sink. He knew Jesus would and could help him. He didn’t call out to the other disciples. Why? Because his faith was in Jesus not the people in the boat. When you want to get your courage under control, stop worrying about what the people around you are saying focus on what God is telling you. Start speaking the promises He has given you. You are victorious, you are a child of the king, you can live in abundance.
Opportunity: Peter was ready when opportunity presented itself. Peter asked Jesus if he could come to him. Now imagine when Jesus said yes, Peter had to put on his pants or shoes. Or he had to position himself. No, when Jesus said come, he stepped. We ask God for things but we are not in a position to receive them when opportunity presents itself. I once saw a quote that said “I’m positioning myself to receive what I prayed for”. Discouragement will keep you in a position where you miss opportunities presented to you.
Understanding: Peter understood what was required. To walk a courageous life, you have to understand the assignment. Many of us want the blessings of God but don’t understand what’s required to get them. He said we can have an abundant life IF we follow him and not the enemy. (John 10:10) He said we don’t have worry about what we will eat, drink or wear. We don’t have to worry about “stuff”, IF we seek the kingdom of heaven first. (Matthew 6:33) Understand who gives you courage.
Reason: Peter had a reason to step out of the boat. He wanted to get to where Jesus was. What’s your reason for wanting to do that thing that has you afraid? Maybe it’s leaving a job to start your own business. Maybe it’s going back to school. Maybe it’s buying a car. Maybe it’s getting married. What is it? Why do you want to do it? I was once told if your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough.
Attitude Check: When Peter began to sink, it was because he looked out at the winds and the waves. He took his attention off of Jesus. He began to think with his head instead of with his heart. He began to trust what he saw instead of what he knew. When you find yourself struggling with your courage, do an attitude check. Ask yourself what am I focusing on, who am I focusing on?
Guidance: When the disciples were in the boat, the became afraid thinking it was a ghost coming towards them. Even Peter doubted because he said “IF it be you, let me come to you.” Be careful who you surround yourself with. Bad guidance is guidance but it will not help you get where you are trying to go. In fact, it can keep you struggling even more. Everyone will have an idea of what you “should” do. Make sure it lines up with what you and God have agreed on.
Expectation: Peter had several expectations. One, he expected that he would be able to walk to Jesus or he wouldn’t have gotten out of the boat. Second, he expected Jesus to save him, or he wouldn’t have asked him to. What are your expectations? Most of us lose the battle with our courage because we don’t expect to win. We think of all the reasons why something could go wrong instead of the reasons why it could go right. Get out of your head!!! Expect great things and great things will come to you.
So when you find yourself struggling with your (courage) faith, think about Peter. Peter had to make some choices. If he really wanted to get what he desired in this case to be where Jesus was (understanding/reason), he had to push aside his doubt (confidence). He had to do something he had never done before (opportunity). He had to believe it was possible and leave those that didn’t (attitude check). He had to realize that even if it didn’t work, God would be there to catch him (guidance/expectation).
This is just one way God gave me revelation on COURAGE. Join me over on my Facebook page as we talk about Blue, a little bird, that wanted to be like her momma and fly.
Until Next Time,
If you found this helpful or know someone who needs encouragement, please take a moment and share it on social media.
by Coach Tina | Jan 27, 2017 | Fear
We all have felt discouraged at one point of another. Trust me anyone that says they’ve never been discouraged, is lying and run from them. The problem is many people stay in a discouraged mindset for so long, it becomes normal. Are you discouraged? Do you even know what discouragement really is? Discouragement is defined as a loss of confidence or enthusiasm. It has also been defined as having a loss of trust. Regardless how you choose to define it, if you’ve ever been discouraged about anything, you know it is a lonely and sad place.
2 Corinthians 5:7 says we live by faith not by sight.
When you find yourself discouraged, take a moment and be honest. What are you looking at? What are you focusing on? Have you taken your eyes off the promise? Have you taken your eyes off of what you know and started looking at what you see? You can’t have faith and be discouraged at the same time! Oops! Sorry to disappoint you. You must choose, which one will it be? 
Understand this, the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy. I’ve said in a previous blog; he could care less what you have. He likes for you to have stuff. But if he can get you to stop trusting in God, kill your dreams, and destroy your hope, he feels he has succeeded. If he can put distractions in place that will cause you to doubt everything God has told you about you, he feels he has succeeded. And if he can use all your stuff to accomplish it, all the better. Sadly, if you fall for his distractions, he will succeed.
When you are distracted it takes your eyes off of God and places them on your problem or circumstance. You begin to focus on what you see instead of what you know. You begin to look with your physical eye instead of your spiritual eye.
When we look with our physical eye we begin to lean to our own understanding. We begin focusing on things that don’t matter instead of focusing on God and the greatness that He has created inside of us and for us.
Trust me I know what it feels like to be discouraged. To feel as if nothing matters. To feel like nothing you do is enough. To just be ready to give up and give in. But giving up is not an option! That’s exactly what the enemy wants you to do. If he can get you to give up, you will never be able to benefit from the blessings of God. You will never be able to walk in His promises. You will never reap the harvest prepared for you.
When you feel yourself becoming discouraged, STOP right where you are and ask “where is my focus? Am I looking with my physical eye or my spiritual eye? Am I leaning on my own understanding or am I trusting God?” One of my favorite promises in the Bible is ‘God will never leave nor forsake me’. And surely if He made that promise for me, He made if for you. But you have to trust Him and follow the process He has you on. Make a decision discouraged or faithful?
Where you are right now is only temporary unless you make it a permanent home.
Until Next Time,
by Coach Tina | Sep 21, 2016 | Fear, Growth
Do you remember the Arsenio Hall Show? I loved the “things that make you go hmmm” segment. This week has been one of those weeks for our nation. All the senseless shootings and gas limitations. It makes you wonder what’s going on.
You see, I am not one of those super saints – I got questions. I know God will never put more on us than we can bare. I know there is a lesson in this somewhere. According to the bible these are signs of the end of time. I got ALL of that. I know we will never know the answer to everything that happens.
But when people are being killed by those that have vowed to protect them. When children are being killed by the person who helped bring them into the 
world. When young girls are found lying in the street and NO one seems to know what happened. It makes you wonder what in the world is really going on.
Well I don’t have the answer! I know my heart hurts behind it all. I know it makes me pray a little longer. I know it makes me call and check on my children more often. I know it makes me immediately pick up the phone and call someone that cross my mind. It makes me not take life for granted. It makes me remember tomorrow is not promised. It makes me appreciate what I have instead of focusing on what I don’t. It makes me work harder to forgive someone that has hurt me. I makes me want better instead of settling for mediocre. It makes me love a little harder. It makes me a little more compassionate. It makes me seek ways of understanding instead of letting it just be.
So with everything going on, could this be a time when God is trying to get us to focus on the things that matter instead of the superficial things of the world? Is He trying to get us to live a life of forgiveness and unconditional love? Maybe He is trying to draw us closer to Him when things just don’t make sense. I’m not saying God is causing all these things to happen (in fact I know He’s not) – what I am saying is He promised to make good out of all things and I have to believe in His promises. There has to be something good that comes out of this mess.
HMMMM… People are becoming more aware of their surroundings. People are looking into history to see where all this hatred actually stemmed from. People are holding their families closer. People are conserving their resources. People are becoming more compassionate to their brothers and sisters. People are standing in support of what they believe. But there has to be more.
Will people truly seek God for answers? Will we begin to pray more? Will we begin to love more? There has to be something not just good but great that comes out of all this pain… but what will it be? What do you think? Do you have any ideas of what we are to learn from this? Share your thoughts I’d love to hear what you have to say.
Until Next Time,
• if a woman says she is going through, her faith is questioned.
