Surviving is NOT Enough!

Do you find yourself thinking about the past or maybe even the future? Does thinking about the future scare you? Do thinking about the past you make you sad? Or maybe when you think about the old you, you think what happened? Where did I go wrong? Why did I do things that way? Why did I stay engaged in those situations so long? What made me think the way I did? Why didn’t I do this or why didn’t I do that? Do you compare where you are NOW to where you thought you should have been or where someone else is?

PLEASE STOP!

You were doing the best you could with what you had at the moment. Some of us were living in survival mode. We were truly trying to make it to the next day without losing our mind. We were trying to raise a family without instructions.  We were trying to navigate a life without a roadmap. We were working jobs to pay the bills not for enjoyment. We were entangled in relationships that we thought would eventually give us a return on our investment. You get the picture. You were doing the best you could at the moment.

One of my favorite quotes is by Maya Angelou – When you know better do better. NOW, you know better. Now you have a better understanding of what you want and what you don’t want. Live in that. Live a life that you can love and stop spending time trying to figure out how to navigate through a life that you no longer want to be a part of.  BUT how, Tina? Glad you asked. Decide! Decide that you deserve the life you want. Decide that you will make yourself a priority. That you will put yourself on your to-do list. That you will finally give yourself the love you give so freely to others. Once you live into this practice, you will stop making excuses for why you want something and create a plan to obtain it. No one has the ability to stop your plans but you. Read that again!

There is NOTHING on this earth too good for you. Everything you desire in life is obtainable; if you are willing to put in the work to obtain it.

I have seen clients write goals and once they begin to see them come to light, they run the other way. WHY? Change is scary. Change requires you to jump out of your comfort zone. Change demands you to do things you aren’t used to doing. Change requires you to make decisions. Changes requires you be honest with yourself. Change makes you see yourself differently. Change requires you to see others differently. Change makes you stop blaming others and look at what part you played. Change requires doing something different in order to get what you truly want.

Are you ready for a change? Are you ready to move out of your comfort zone? Are you ready to do better? Are you ready to live a life that YOU created? Are you ready? Are you ready to thrive and stop just surviving? If so, I encourage you to take out your journal and write a declaration to yourself. Write a promise to yourself.  Declaring your intentions, brings them to life. Place it somewhere you can see daily. Put it right in front of your face. And each day, decide you will do better than you did yesterday! That’s it…. Just do better than you did yesterday.

If you would like help moving forward in this journey, reach out to me. I know how hard letting go of the past can be, but I also know how liberating letting go of the past is.

Until Next Time,

“F” Pain!!! If one more bad thing happens!

No Pain, No Gain!              Struggle is inevitable!                     Embrace the pain!

Okay, can we stop normalizing pain? Can we stop making it sound as if we must endure pain to be happy! Can we stop looking for something bad to happen because things are going well? Just stop!

At some point the rain does stop and the sun shines again. But how will you ever enjoy the sun if you are constantly waiting for the next storm? YOU CAN’T!

Let me tell you a hidden truth about me. I was that person. I could not enjoy the good things, the happy moments in my life because I had become so accustomed to the pain. I was constantly waiting for the next “bad” thing to happen. I even got to the point where I would not allow myself to be happy because I felt it would make the bad thing happen faster. WELL, WELL, WELL! What I was doing was setting myself up for failure.

Because remember what you feed is what grows. I was expecting things to go wrong so I began to self-sabotage and look for wrong things. Sometimes I even made things appear bad just to prove myself right. WTH!!

Then one day while strolling the internet, I came across this amazing quote. Changed my whole life!

A man (woman) who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears! Michel de Montaigne

Honey!!! It was the beginning of the beginning for me. I begin to think about all the things I was afraid of and realized I was suffering because of my fears. I was not living my dreams because I was afraid, they would not happen. I was withholding love because I was afraid I it would not be returned. I was rejecting love because I was afraid of being rejected.  WTH!!!  The things I feared was causing me to suffer. I was so afraid of being happy that I was dying in misery. I was so afraid of what people would think of me that I was ultimately living a life that I hated.

Here is your brick!

If you walk around avoiding pain, you will find it. You will see it everywhere you walk. Not because it’s there but because you fear it will be. It’s time to push past your fears and live unapologetically without regret. We will all have moments where things hurt. Pain is inevitable but misery is an option! I know me and these darn quotes. But why re-invent the wheel?

If you cut your finger, do you cut your arm off? HECK NO! You put a bandage on your finger and go on about your day. Then why, because one person mishandled you, do you live your life expecting someone else to hurt you? Why do you punish yourself for something someone else did? Why did you stop applying for jobs because you didn’t get the last one? It’s time to get out of your own way. It’s time to live and stop waiting to die.

Where are you allowing pain to run your life? What do you want to accomplish, yet are allowing your past to hold you back? It’s time! Now is the time to do it! What do you have to lose? I guarantee this… you will never accomplish it, if you don’t at least try.

Until Next Time,

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