This was part of a 4-day email series I ran to introduce my new self-guided course. The course outline can be seen here.
The life I’m living now is NOT the life I thought I would be living! But has turned out to be the best life EVER!
Until approximately 5 years ago, my only desire in life was to be a mom and wife. NOTHING more! You see, I grew up in the age where a girl got married, had kids, possibly got job and lived! And for most my life that’s what I did and it was enough. It actually was more than enough! It was my duty! It was my “calling”! I was good! But then…..
Let’s take a trip together. Although I had my first child in high school, I was determined to get some college in! I would be the first in my family to go to college and well, everyone was happy and proud. So surely that was what I was supposed to do. Rebellion and my desire to maintain the relationship with the father of my child resulted in me packing my belongs and moving into an apartment with him. You can read all about those shenanigans in my book, “What You’re Hiding is Hindering Your Blessings”. Because that’s not what this series is about.
I remember my first “real job” was with a local municipality. It was a real good job. Great benefits, excellent pay and opportunity for growth. But it posed a problem between me and the father of my two kids. I was making more than him and that was NOT allowed (wish someone had told me it WAS allowed!) When my then supervisor left, I was told to train the person that would become my new BOSS! Instead of fighting for the position for myself, I did as I was told because I didn’t want to offend anyone. I went complaining to my then husband and at his prompting, resigned from that job and began helping him manage a restaurant. That job turned into “owning” our own restaurant and catering business. Needless to say, that was a lot of work! And by this time, I had five kids! A husband in ministry and was co-lead in a very vibrant and active youth ministry.
In spite of all of this, finances began to take a turn and additional funds were needed in the house. So being the good wife, I got a job. This job required me to be away from the home and took a lot of my attention away from my family. Although I enjoyed my job and felt the return of the confidence and pride I experienced during the job with the municipality, it exposed a lot of abusive behaviors in our marriage and family. Determined to fight for my marriage, I resigned from that job hoping it would save a very damaged relationship.
My self-esteem dragged the floor during these years. There was much toxicity, abuse and infidelity in my marriage, but I was determined and willing to do anything to save my marriage! Even turn my back as if it wasn’t happening.
Several years of this behavior resulted in a temporary separation requiring me to return to workforce. But this time was different. During the separation something happened! I started hanging out with women that motivated me and encouraged me. They spoke highly of me and prompted me to take on bigger assignments. I began to establish a name for myself in my work position. The verbal put-downs and negativity that I had become accustomed to daily had stopped! And something was happening on the inside of me!!! Could this be the return of my confidence and self-worth?
I wish I could say that was the turning point, but it WASN’T – tune in tomorrow as I tell you what happened next!
Until Next Time,
