Aggressive or assertive women are often called “Bossy”! When you speak up for yourself, you can be labeled as mean or even “mad”. But why can’t it be that you have boundaries and standards?
I recently facilitated a class “Are You TOO Bossy?” You can join my app to hear the recording of the class. But here are the highlights.
You can make POWER moves, or you can make BOSS moves! Each has a purpose and intention. It really depends on the outcome you are expecting. Check out these definitions: POWER MOVE-an aggressive action taken to demonstrate power and dominance. BOSS MOVE -an action taken to move you closer to your mission or your goal. There is a BIG difference.
We want to show up as a BOSS in our own life but sometimes we must exert ourselves and let our POWER show up as well. We don’t want to give opportunities or access to people that will misuse the opportunity to be a part of our lives. We get to choose who enters, who stays and who contributes to our lives. Our intention is to make BOSS moves! Making BOSS moves has benefits but there are some disadvantages as well.
Benefits
- Confidence
- Feeling understood
- Earned Respect
- Improved Communication
- Opportunity to create win-win situations
- Create a space for honest communication
- Reduce stress
Disadvantages
- You may appear narcistic or cocky
- You may end up isolated
- You may alienate others
- You may be viewed as rude
One thing for sure when I look at the disadvantages, you notice they ARE appearances! People get to decide how they want to view you and it’s not your business. Making sure you present yourself in a way that helps you become a better version of yourself THAT IS YOUR BUSINESS!
How do you make BOSS moves?
- Use “I” statements – focus on you, your needs, your desires and what makes you feel good
- Practice saying NO – Stop feeling a need to explain yourself all the time! NO is the complete sentence
- Rehearse what you want to say – Don’t overthink! Have confidence in your words
- Give yourself permission – you are responsible for you!
- Know your worth – You are worthy of setting boundaries and having people respect them.
- Start small – make moves that push you out of your comfort zone but don’t push you to a place of no return.
Final thoughts: You are NOT TOO bossy! You probably aren’t bossy enough! You have become accustomed to putting the wants of others above your needs. You have felt uncomfortable standing up for yourself. Somewhere someone told you it’s not lady-like to say NO or to voice your opinion. THESE are lies! You have every right to take protect yourself, advocate for yourself and make your peace your priority.
Until Next Time,
