“Your lack of motivation or limited motivation is NOT because you are doing something wrong!”
Yes, that was the statement I had to say out loud and embrace as my current truth. I found myself trying to get motivated to do the things that I loved, yet it was not working. The harder I tried, the harder it became. I felt stagnant and unproductive. I felt as though I could not get it together. I felt unappreciated and taken advantage of. I felt as though those around me “should” see the disconnect. But they did not and that made me feel even worse. What the hell was I doing wrong??
Why was I feeling like this? Why couldn’t I bounce back? How did I get on this trail to nowhere? I could blame my lack of motivation on grief. Sadness. Depression. Stress. Overworked and underappreciated. Distracted. Having too many things on my plate. But #transparency I was struggling to articulate what needed and had resorted to old habits and allowed shame to keep me there! Talk about vulnerability! GIRL!!! That revelation was life changing!
I can motivate the hell outta someone. Have them making plans to visit the moon while helping them pack their bag; because I truly believe they were going. But I looked at my own packed bags and said “one day, I got to focus on my purpose and assignments, right now”. You see I wasn’t following my own advice. I had removed myself from my priority list trying to build my empire and help others do the same. I was showing up, but I was showing up to a party I didn’t need to attend at the moment. Can relate?
NOW, you know I’m all about building your empire. In fact, if you have followed me for any amount of time, you know my motto: “BUILD YOUR OWN TABLE and stop waiting to be invited to someone else’s!” But don’t be so focused on building that table/empire that once it’s built, you are to worn out to enjoy it! Take some me time. I mean totally unplug. Turn off the phone. Get a babysitter. Do what you got to do! Every now and then? NO! Absolutely NOT! put it on your calendar at least twice a month more often if it’s been a while since you’ve taken time for yourself! Because you ARE going to make excuses not to follow through. Learn to keep that appointment like it’s a doctor’s appointment! No exceptions! No excuses! Take the full appointed time. If it’s an hour, a day, a weekend, a week! Use the whole-time doing things that make you happy! Things that you don’t get to do often.
I just recently came off a TEN day vacation. I needed it. I had not taken a vacation since 2018 without having assignments or deadlines that I needed to make. I literally did not turn my computer on but ONE hour the whole time! That says a lot for me! People say, “you can rest when you die!” Hell NO! REST WHEN YOU NEED IT! That’s the only way you will be able to show up how you need to show up. That’s how you create a fulfilled life. That’s how your life stops just being tolerable. I promise the work will be there when you get back from your break!
I was overextending myself. Trying to be superwoman and Wonder Woman at the same time all while acting like Mary Poppins… falling apart but trying to wear a smile! Imagine that!
I saw this post: trying to heal, while trying to grieve. While trying to live, while trying to dream, while trying to smile. While trying to give love. While trying to be loved.” Trying to heal is work all by itself. Yet we’re expected to show up unbothered. I was bothered! I was tired. I just needed space to find the pieces and take off the mask. Get the book and you’ll understand that statement!
It’s time to uncover the truths. Time to stop lying to yourself and others. No, we ain’t walking around her like little raggedy Anne dolls but we are not showing up as our best selves either. We MUST set ourselves up for success by taking care of our own needs! I had to put in place my own accountability. Setting accountability don’t always require checking in with someone else. Learn to check in with yourself! Learn to become your own competition. Learn to say the hell with what’s expected and do what’s necessary for yourself. I extend this challenge to you. Join me cause challenges can be easier when you do it with others but it’s not necessary! I’m going to show up for me regardless. I hope do too.
Living Intentionally,
