When someone does something that “hurts your feelings”, it can mess your whole mood up! I mean let’s be real, people can be really mean some times! But it especially hurts when the person that hurt you is someone you never thought would ever hurt you! Maybe it’s a spouse, a parent, a sibling, your child or a friend. You never expect those you love and say they love you to hurt you. This tends to multiply those feelings of hurt and can shake you to the core.
Here’s the thing — feelings change! One moment you can be mad or sad the next you can be happy or excited. Feelings are always changing. When you allow someone to alter your feelings by what they may or may not have done, you allow them to change who you are for that moment. Never give anyone that much control over you.
If you are honest with yourself, it’s not what they did that hurt you, it’s the fact you didn’t expect “them” to do it. The same statement could have been made by a stranger and you would have shrugged it off but because this loved one said it, it hurt deep. People are people regardless of where they rest in your life.
You can take control of your feelings by changing the way you view the encounter. Here’s some things for you to consider:
• Was it what they said that hurt your feelings? Why?
• Was it who said it that hurt your feelings? Why?
• Did it bring up memories of a past hurt?
• Was it intentionally said to hurt you?
• Was it true and it caused you shame or guilt?
• Is it true or just their perception?
As you look at the truth behind “YOUR FEELINGS” about what the person said or did, you will be able to look past the person and deal with the actual feelings. The person that “hurt” you is the same person that you believe loved you earlier. Sometimes we just need to take a look within and find the truth behind the pain. Maybe it’s not what they said, maybe it’s what it brings up in you. Maybe it’s not what was said, maybe it’s who said it. But maybe, just maybe it’s neither of those things, could it be what it stirs up inside of you that need to be dealt with?
Until Next Time,