There are days where I struggle. Days where I can’t find the words to pray. Days when I want to just throw in the towel and give up. Days where I want to run back to my comfort zone and things that are familiar. Days when the negative thoughts are so loud they are all I can hear. Days when I question who I am. Days when fear paralyzes me. Days when I’m reminded of ALL my failures and those failures are all I can see. Days when I don’t want to hear another bible verse. Days when I just don’t want to pray. Days when I don’t want nobody praying for me! Days when I question if God is really there. Days when my mask wears a mask. Days when… yea you get it!
But it is those days I push to pray a little harder. I praise a little louder. I worship a little deeper. Those are the days that I am reminded I CAN NOT do it on my own. But I can do it with God’s help. Those are the days I realize I NEED GOD! Those are the days I get some where and sit quiet. Those are the days I cry out for God to help me. Those are the days I remember how far He has already brought me. Those are the days I’m reminded of what I asked Him for and how it’s these kinds of days that are preparing me for it.
I know I will never give up on God! I know I will continue to strive to be all He has called me to be. I know I He will never give me more than I can bear. I, also, am keenly aware that He will NEVER forsake me or leave me stranded. So, when those days come I push! I push hard! I get on my knees and cry out to God for help! I push Tina out of the way and do what I don’t feel like doing. I surrender my desires for His. And if I’m really honest with myself, I realize it’s “those days” that I am the closest to what I’ve been praying for. If I’m really honest with myself, it’s the fear of moving forward that is keeping me stuck. If I’m really honest it’s those days that I’m trying to control situations that are out of my control. It’s those days where I grow a little closer to God. It’s those days that strengthen my trust in God. So I will not ignore “those days”, I will embrace those days and keep pushing through them until I become what God has called me to be.
Until Next Time,