Y’all (in my southern voice) are forcing me to come out of my comfort zone. I usually focus my blog or posts on something encouraging or motivating. If a holiday is near, I may post something about it. There are two months that I set aside to bring awareness to abuse, April and October.  Well as most of you know a couple weeks ago I did a blog called “Is Sorry Enough” and several people sent me messages wanting more information. Because of the many questions that stemmed from that blog, I’ve decided to dedicate one blog per week to discuss these issues.  Here are a few of the questions that came up. If you have more, please feel
tina talk free to send me a message:

  • What makes a man abuse a woman?
  • How do you know if it’s abuse or just “the way he is”? (we are really gonna talk about this one)
  • How do I get out of an abusive relationship?
  • Why do women stay in abusive relationships?
  • What do you do if your friend is in an abusive relationship?

I realize you can not be YOUR BEST YOU if you are fighting you way through an abusive relationship. You will never know your own worth with someone constantly telling you you are worthless.  However before we go any further, let me make a disclaimer. I am not a therapist. I am not a Psychologist. I am a domestic violence survivor willing to share what I know to hopefully help someone else.

One more thing, if you feel you are being abused, you probably are.  No one can tell you what abuse feels like to you.  Never allow anyone to tell you that you are overreacting or being sensitive. If it feels like abuse to you, that’s all that matters. 

You were not created to be mistreated. You were created in the image of God and He loves you too much for anyone to mistreat you.  We all know there are “circumstances” that seemingly prohibits a person from ending an abusive relationship but I beg you PLEASE if you are in a physically abusive relationship and you feel your life or the life of your children are in danger, please get help NOW. No relationship is worth your life.

I came across this list and thought it appropriate to share with you. If you see yourself in any of these situations, you are possibly an abused woman and you need to seek help.  Sadly, I have to admit at some point in my life, I’ve seen myself in many if not all of these situations.

14 Characteristics of an Abused Woman

The 14 characteristics common to abused women are: 

  • Abused women have to guess at what normal behavior is.
  • Abused women have difficulty maintaining their focus and drive.
  • Abused women are often paralyzed by their own negativity so they find it hard to start something new and an uphill struggle to see it through.
  • Abused women judge themselves without mercy.
  • Abused women feel they always have to justify themselves.
  • Abused women have difficulty being light-hearted.
  • Abused women have difficulty trusting.
  • Abused women take everything very seriously.
  • Abused women overreact and catastrophize even over small problems.
  • Abused women faithfully record every last criticism they experience and they discount praise.
  • Abused women usually feel they are different to other people as a result of their relationship.
  • Abused women need approval and affirmation and tend to look for it in all the wrong places.
  • Abused women are extremely loyal, even despite the evidence that their loyalty is underserved.
  • Abused women envisage a future that will be just as hard as the present.


If you know someone that can benefit from these discussions, please share it with them.  If you have questions you would like me to discuss, please forward them to me. If you have something you would like to share with other women, please send me an email. Remember you are not alone in this, you can always send me a message here at info@tinabaileyonline.com or send me a private message via Facebook at Tina Bailey Online.  No one should feel alone especially while dealing with something like this.   I’m just a message away.

Until Next Time,

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