Have you ever felt you were being taken advantage of or unappreciated? If you live in this world, you have felt that way at least once in your life. Because I am a glass half full type of person, I will say it wasn’t intentional or deliberate. Most people don’t know how to show appreciation and others have never been appreciated so they struggle with offering it. Either way, feeling unappreciated hurts!!
However, when you don’t appreciate yourself, that’s worse. If you’ve been following my blog or are friends with me on Facebook, you know I struggled for years with low self-esteem and identity issues. It took me years to see my needs as important and even longer to figure out that I deserved for my needs to be met.
I understand putting the desires of everyone else first because you don’t want to be considered selfish. I understand not dreaming in fear of the dreams not coming true. I understand not setting personal goals because there were so many “more important” things needed to be done. I understand feeling guilty about wanting something just for yourself. I understand when the negative thoughts in your head are so loud that you can’t concentrate. I understand doing everything possible to make every one else happy. I understand refusing to think someone else could possibly understand these feelings. If you can relate to any of this… rest assured I do understand and you are not alone.
It wasn’t until I learned to value myself and my dreams that I was able to push those feelings away. It was becoming my own cheerleader that allowed what other people said to fade into the background. It was treating myself with respect and honor that forced me to demand it from others. It was deciding that my dreams and goals were important that I began to pursue them.
You see when I learned my true value I stopped negotiating with people. I stopped letting them determine what was important to me. I realized my happiness and my sanity were non-negotiable. No longer will I allow anyone to steal my joy or keep me tied to a life feeling unappreciated. But first I had to learn my true value.
How do you determine your own value?
The same way you would determine the value of anything valuable in your life. Value is given by the one who created it. Your creator is God. He made you and He deemed you valuable. His Word says you are more valuable than rubies (Proverbs 31:10). You were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-16). You are His prized possession (James 1:18). You see He set a high value on you. You don’t have to walk around trying to figure it out – it’s already been set!!
When you go into a jewelry store to purchase a ring, you don’t negotiate or haggle the price. You pay what is on the tag or you look for something else. So, why do you negotiate your value with people who cannot see your worth?
Let’s stay there for a minute. Most people who try to negotiate a set price, do so because they don’t know the true value of the merchandise. If someone is haggling you or putting you in a position where you feel you have to negotiate on what’s important to you, more than likely they don’t see your true value and this needs to be addressed. And it’s up to you to do so.
When you walk around with your head down. When you don’t respect yourself or demand respect. When you settle for relationships that don’t encourage or motivate you to be better. When you allow disrespectful actions—- It’s clear that you don’t know your own value.
The value of your life and time has been determined. The only one that can negotiate or discount your value is you. If a person don’t treat you with respect, honor your presence, or appreciate who you are, you may need to look at the price you have placed on your time because at some point you discounted your value and are offering it at a price that was never given by the creator.
If you find yourself being treated in a way that challenges your set value or you would like help determining your value and/or how to present it, please set up a session with me. Not knowing your value affects your personal relationships but it also keeps you from achieving your goals which ultimately prevents from being the BEST YOU!! And that, my friend, is UNACCEPTABLE and NON-NEGOTIABLE to me!!
Until Next Time,