What do you do when the love you show someone is not returned? Regardless of how much you love them, it seems they just don’t love you back. You go out of your way to show them the affection, yet you end up hurt from their lack of compassion towards you. You want to scream, “LOVE ME ALREADY!!”
The Bible says we are to love each other. Actually it was a command that God gave us. “A command I give to you, love one another as I love you”. John 13:34 It is your duty to love others. So regardless if they show you love you or not, you must love them.
Now the instruction is to love others, not to tolerate being mistreated by others. Some people just don’t know how to love or to show love. This has nothing to do with you or the love you show them, this has everything to do with them and their selfish desires. Remember, you have not because you ask not. I truly believe whatever you desire in life, you have the ability to ask God and He is faithful to give it to you. This includes the ability to love and the ability to show love. If you find yourself unable to show love, ask God to help you. He WILL!!
“Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love”. 1 John 4:8.
Instead of being upset that someone don’t love you, be upset that they don’t know God.
Love is love. Your love will not change a person’s actions. Your love will not make a person better. If a person is a bully, they are going to continue being mean. A liar will continue to lie. A cheater will continue to cheat. A thief will continue to steal. Your love, in itself, will not change that person. Only the person’s true desire to change, will cause a change in them. Their change is their responsibility not yours.
So many times we offer love to people in hopes of being loved in return. There are even times when we only show love because we want something back. We have convinced ourselves the love we receive from others is predicated by the love we offer to them. You better stop fooling yourself. Just because you show someone love is not a requirement for them to love you. Learn to show yourself the love you so deeply desire. Loving yourself is your responsibility.
The love you show others, should never be contingent upon receiving something in return. You show love because that’s what you have been commanded to do. Just like forgiveness, love is not what you do for others, love is what you do for yourself. Love is what you do out of obedience to God.
Love should never be conditional. What if God’s love was conditional?
Let’s be honest, we would be some loveless, lonely people.
There is another scripture that says, “Love covers a multitude of sin” 1 Peter 4:8. Love covers the sin. It don’t mean the sin is not there. It means because you are showing love (true love) the sin is not what you focus on. You love people where they are. You love people out of obedience. You love people because God loves you. Then you pray for their sins and yours.
So when the love isn’t returned, and you find yourself wanting to withhold the love… When the love isn’t meeting the expectations you had in mind… remember you are not showing love in order to get something back, you are showing love because God commanded you to do so. You are showing love because God demonstrates love towards you.
You are showing love because GOD IS LOVE.
Until Next Time,