There comes a time in life when you have to throw up your hands and ask for help. Those of you that know me or have at least read my book, “What You’re Hiding is Hindering Your Blessing”, know I’ve struggled with asking for help. I was one of those people that believed asking for help was a sign of weakness.
Well as of recent, I’ve learned asking for help is a sign of strength. A realization that I don’t have to do it alone and that I shouldn’t do it alone. The problem is not in asking for help. The problem is in who you are asking for help.
For many years, I walked around angry. I was angry as a young girl. I was angry as a teenager. I was angry as a young woman. I was just angry. Yes, there were many occurrences that I could blame as the reasons behind my anger. I could even get several people to stand in agreement that I had a “right” to be angry. But what does anger really do for you? It will never solve the problem. It will never change the situation. It will not make the situation right. Most of the time it will just keep you stuck!!
We all have what I call a “victim story”. Most of us enjoy telling our story, especially to someone that wants to listen to it and will show sympathy. But I’ve learned constantly retelling that story does not help. In fact, you find yourself reliving the situation over and over again. The pain continues to rest inside of you and the anger builds. Your story becomes your life.
I don’t know about you but I don’t want pain to be the story of my life.
There comes a time when enough is enough and you must ask for help. Even in situations like –anger. However, be careful who you reach out to. Everyone is not equipped to handle your story. Not everyone can give you sound advice and encouragement. When you really get tired of being angry, ask God to release the anger from you. He is faithful and loves you so much that not only will he release you of the anger, He will begin to erase the evidence of the anger.
Isn’t that amazing? Not only will He stop the anger but He’ll help you to forget what caused the anger.
It wasn’t until I asked God to help me with my anger that I was able to release it. It wasn’t until I stop waddling in my anger that I was able to stand up in my deliverance. It wasn’t until I stop telling the stories that the story stopped controlling me. It wasn’t until I stop telling the story that I learned the lessons from my story.
So many times we stay stuck in our anger because we feel if we let it go, it says whatever caused our anger didn’t exist. Okay, wait!! Maybe that’s just me. Well I felt, if I let go of the anger I was letting the person that hurt me off the hook. That’s the furthest thing from the truth. When you let go of that anger, you are letting YOURSELF off the hook. You are saying I’m tired of reliving this pain. I’m tired of allowing everyday thoughts to bring my spirits down. I’m tired of not truly being happy.
Do you realize that you have the power to make yourself happy? Do you realize you have the ability to make yourself smile even when you want to cry? Do you realize that no one can “make” you sad? Yes, people can do things that trigger different thoughts in your mind. Something happens and it reminds you of a something from your past. Those thoughts then prompt a feeling inside of you and you begin to react. So it’s not what someone else did. It’s not what someone else said. It’s the thoughts you have associated with whatever happened that makes you feel a certain way. And again, guess who controls your feelings? You do!!
I was tired of being angry. I was tired of walking around telling my sad story. I was tired of being a victim. I
was just plain tired.
So one day I decided I was not going to hold on to that anger any more. I didn’t know how I was going to let it go. But I was determined that I was letting it go!! I cried out to God and this is what I started seeing take place:
- I rewrote my “victim story” and made it a “story of victory”.
- I changed how I viewed the situation. I no longer looked at it from a defeated position.
- I focused on the lessons I learned and vowed never to forget them.
- I used what I learned to be a help to someone else.
- I thanked God for trusting me enough to bring me through the struggle.
You see your story is not to tear you down. Your story is to build you up, so that you can build up the next person. So when you are tired of being angry. When you are tired of being the victim. Ask God to help you become the victor and to show you how your story is to help the next person let go of their anger.
Until Next Time,